Worst day ever...

[Stinkweed]

I have already told the story of the woman I met, who is in her late 30's. We've been together for over a month, and it's always been so sad and difficult for both of us, because of the age difference. And now my friends and family know about it and my friends have been less than accepting of it (well some of them have been) and my parents are worried because they think I might catch an std or that it's not normal for a woman in her 30s to be interested in a 21 year old... And it's all of that. I trust her, but I admit that I haven't tested myself for stds and that, alone, is nerve wracking... what if I am wrong?

 

Not only that, but the lack of support from mostly everybody I know has made something difficult seem almost impossible. To make things worse, I've been sick with a fever and headaches (well I haven't been sick for the last 3 days. Fever and tiredness have been gone... it wasn't swine flu either, because the tests were negative. Bloodwork was good, urine test was good, so they just left me with "general viral infection") for 13 days, that I had some sort of viral infection, and I'm so scared that it might be mono (because according to what I've read online, it might just be starting and I might have to take a bunch of time off). I just don't know... I'm sad, angry and so scared all at the same time... I know my folks will try to dissuade me from keeping this relationship now. And, please, would somebody help?

[BellaDonna]

I hope you feel better soon. They can test you for mono if you suspect it

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I have already told the story of the woman I met, who is in her late 30's. We've been together for over a month, and it's always been so sad and difficult for both of us, because of the age difference.

 

I think that if you can manage to get through the rough part in the beginning and "prove" you are in love, so to speak. People might stop being so skeptical. If the relationship stands the test of time, eventually they will probably lighten up.

[hockeyboy]

I think friends/family might not be accepting of the relationship because they care about you. It's hard for most people to see that working in 10, 20, 30 years.

 

So I would take it as they are looking out for you.

 

As far as not feeling well, see a doctor(s)

[Stinkweed]

Well, okay, regarding mono, I will just get the test on monday. I guess it will be what it will be. But for the std's I'm torn... part of me is optimistic, because she, herself, gave me a lecture on protection, etc, the first time we slept together. Then, I trust her, and we've been together for a month and have plans for meeting again, and hope to hang in there for as long as we can keep it alive. She has done a lot for me and she has been more supportive of me than mostly anybody in my entire life... On the other hand, what if there's something she might have that she, herself, doesn't know of?

 

As for the family thing, it's really tragic... we've both talked before, and she, herself, has told me that she knows this is not going to be forever, and I kinda know this too (I know she can't have children, due to an operation she had in order to survive a disease on her ovaries)... But we were both just so in love with each other, we're just trying to stay together as long as it works.

 

It's all so sad... I was trying to live for now, and just enjoy our time together, but I'm too scared, angry and sad right now...

[Speranza]

You know what? You're probably feeling this way cos you're not well. Give yourself time to recover, then see how you feel.

 

The children thing can be a dealbreaker but you may want to go ahead with a relationship anyway and think about ending it down the line - I couldn't do that but I know people who have.

 

Just take your time and stop worrying about other people's opinions. It's YOUR relationship.

[Stinkweed]

I'm so scared of so many things right now. First, what if I tested positive for HIV? I just don't know what I would do... My life would be over.