How to spot "nice" girls?

[zzprometheuszz]

ok, so after years of meeting girls I realized that I don't have the best judgment when it comes to women. I always gave my heart to whomever that comes flirting and hook up with me. Believe it or not, most of the girls that I been "involve" with only wants to "play" and hook up. And I always get attached after we had sex lolz. (yes, i am a guy) Where did I meet these girls? everywhere, college, high school, work, parties......etc....Maybe I am bad in bed??? But somehow I always get involve with girls like these, is it me?

 

So here's the million dollar question....how do you spot a "nice" girl? How can you tell the nice girl from the self-center and heartless one?

 

By nice girls I mean girls that are caring, have morals, educated and kind, have manners. theses are the quality that are important to me. I could care less about looks. I am so sick of looking at the so called "hot" girls with their make-up thinking that they are better than everyone

 

So ladies and gentlement, please give me your word of wisdom.....

[ProtestTheHero]

I'll tell you how I do it.

 

During the day time I say, "Hi, I'm Tyler." If they say hi back, they're nice. If they laugh or leave, they aren't.

 

At night, when a girl is in between a group of me and my friends I will say "Hey, what's up?" and stick my hand out to greet her. If she kinda blows me off I make it look like it was intended for my friends and that she's a arrogant idiot for assuming it was towards her. If she's cool, we talk. I don't remember where I heard this, but I remember laughing so I use it.

 

You can normally tell from the getgo who the stone cold biyotches are just from approaches. The "too good for you" attitude comes out in like .01 seconds.

 

Manipulation, leeches, etc. are tougher to recognize, but princesses can't help but let the princessy attitude gush forward...easy enough to recognize.

[Gratsy]

Its pretty simple. Obviously you go for girls who think they are all that and they dress up constantly to seem hot to a guy. If all you care about is if a girl is wanted by all the guys, she's gonna be a jerk b/c men have spoiled her.

[capbit]

Perhaps you're looking in the wrong places?

These 'nice' girls you speak of probably will not be at a rave or the bar doing body shots on a friday night. They're are typically not the places to find nice girls. Try bookstores, exhibits, parks, ect..

[cruzer]

Church, activities that churches host, but those girls will have morals and follow them, such as no sex before marriage =/

[strategos]

If where you are looking has only "bad" girls you'll only find that kind. My suggestion would be to go to an online dating site (where you'll find people who are more compatible) or go to other places.

 

You'd be surprised how many "nice" girls you'll find. Events that are going on in your area (food festivals, etc.) are another good place.

 

Nice girls are everywhere, you just have to find them

[psychoanalytical]

Its pretty simple. Obviously you go for girls who think they are all that and they dress up constantly to seem hot to a guy. If all you care about is if a girl is wanted by all the guys, she's gonna be a jerk b/c men have spoiled her.

 

Wow... simple, yet with flawless logic. I should think we've got a winner.

[ProtestTheHero]

That would only be applicable if he cared what other guys think of his girl -- I don't think he said that. I'll reread it.

[tiredofvampires]

Perhaps you're looking in the wrong places?

These 'nice' girls you speak of probably will not be at a rave or the bar doing body shots on a friday night. They're are typically not the places to find nice girls. Try bookstores, exhibits, parks, ect..

 

If where you are looking has only "bad" girls you'll only find that kind.

 

Yes, and yes. And yes.

 

People: environment, environment, environment.

 

It shouldn't be rocket science that some "types" of places/venues/activities attract certain "types" of girls (and people.) And so if you go to a place that's a hotbed for primpy, prissy, high-maintenance party girls who look "hot", that's exactly what you're going to get. You're not going to find freshwater fish out at sea. But somehow with your casual attitude about sex and "giving your heart" to someone (i.e., sleeping with them because you're smitten with their hotness, and your emphasis on whether or not you are bad in bed [as if being a great lover would make a "nice" girl stay --- or, make the girl you're with into a nice girl??]), it seems to me you're reaping a bit what you sow and then asking, "Where did I go wrong?"

 

You don't "spot" a nice girl. You get to know one.

 

You want to find a nice girl? Put in your volunteer work application at an organization that supports the families of children with life-threatening illnesses. A girl there could be working the phones or giving respite care to a family/child, organizing fund-raisers or even stuffing envelopes, and you have a 9.9999/10 chance of her being a nice girl.

[ProtestTheHero]

I have found idiots at bookstores and nice people drinking with buddies. I think environment is just a matter of interests, and interests don't necessarily lend to whether one is nice or not. A love of reading doesn't make you a nice person anymore than drinking at a bar means you're someone that can't be brought home to mom.

 

Similar interests are great for kicking things off, but other than selflessly volunteering with people, you aren't going to find nice girls huddled in a Barnes and Noble and Mean Girls in whatever traditional place you'd expect them to be in.

 

It's a complex thing because people are often complex. If you want to know pre-approach, check her body language and interaction with other people. The "me, me, me" people are easy to identify through convos as well.

[tiredofvampires]

I think we're talking about just raising the probabilities of meeting someone nice. No place you go is a guarantee, but in some environments it's more LIKELY you'll find someone who is at least not making using you for self-gratification an objective -- at most, they will also be truly nice.

 

I think finding a place where you cultivate the same interests with others is as important as just an interest. So if you're interested in reading, it's better to find some place where you gather with others to read and talk about reading. Which is a bit different from just randomly going to a bookstore and hitting on someone who maybe was last at a bookstore 7 years ago.

 

If you are amongst people who are trying to increase a skill or talent, are interested in sharing a passion or past-time with others (and I mean one that involves/requires some personal development, not just displays of bravado in its various forms), or best of all (since it indicates good character qualities that can almost be predicted) doing things that help others without compensation, then you're much more more likely to find someone who is nice than just hoping a "cold approach" with some random person will be a lucky strike. This isn't to say that these things don't occur (nice people in all kinds of environments, including ones where not-so-nice people are), it's just that when you have things of interest that you already know are shared, it's a great way for conversation to start exposing what sort of person they are. You have ready material. And talking about thing like books give you a good idea of what someone might value, for instance.

 

So I think knowing a nice girl (or guy) is much more about being able to readily gauge from the topics what clues you're getting about their character and personality, than it is about anything visual. Though of course facial expressions tell a lot about someone's "niceness", but there again, it's a bit like the judging a book by its cover unless you are unerringly intuitive and perceptive.

 

I consider the OP's problem much like the one where women come here after feeling used by men for their sexual exploits. This is the same, basically, in reverse roles. So if this is a recurrent problem for the OP, I think the same basic advice would stand: if someone sleeps with you only to dump you, stop sleeping with people so quickly, hoping they'll stick around. Get to know them more so you have a better idea of their values and interest in you. Someone who's only out for a bed buddy will leave if you extend the getting-to-know-you process too long. So you've got to slow that down, to see what the intentions of the person you meet are.

 

You can do this no matter where you meet someone, but in a situation where you see them periodically around shared interests, you can have that "cushion" where the pressure is less to advance the courtship, since you have other things to relate to, with one another, and build on that. Hook-ups for their own sake are much less likely when you've built a bit of foundation.

 

The "me, me, me" people are easy to identify through convos as well.

 

True, but not always...and sadly, this is one thing that gets "worse" with age. The more people live, the more they learn how to disguise their selfishness. I've known such practiced narcissists, that they only looked giving and attentive at first. But at this age, it's more transparent and I think girls are worse at covering it up (usually) -- so that's good news at least, ha.