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When you always attract the type of people you don't want to date

BronzedSkin123

By BronzedSkin123
in Dating Advice

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BronzedSkin123 Enthusiast

BronzedSkin123

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Does anyone have a pattern of always attracting people that they never find attractive?

 

I've probably had one or two situations where I was attracted to a guy who found me attractive.

 

The majority of the men that are attracted to me, I am simply not interested in at all. If he likes me, chances are, I don't like him physically nor his personality. It's gotten quite frustrating. I thought about giving this one guy a chance, but I'd end up distressed because he is really not what I want and I'd take it out on him.

 

I'm just not happy.

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LightbulbSun Rising Star

LightbulbSun

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I have this problem on dating sites. It seems like the people I email who I'm attracted to never write me back, and every single person who views my profile is either out of my age range (as in 40 and up) or she's (in my opinion) unattractive.

 

I don't understand it, I'm not that bad looking, and I don't see why only people who I find unattractive look at my profile.

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BronzedSkin123 Enthusiast

BronzedSkin123

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why don't you try and talk to guys you like?

 

you will never get away from people you don't find attractive approaching.

 

The ones I like are usually taken or not that interested in me.

 

I used to be so jealous of my friend, she always got to date the hottest guy at work or at school, they were usually very popular and had a pretty active social life. And she always got the type of guy that she wanted, the ones she found to be very attractive.

 

Me on the other hand, I always have to settle for somebody that is just not what I really want. Either he's too short, too quiet, not funny enough, not cute enough for me. I'm just with them because I'm lonely. I never feel happy or fulfiled though.

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ghost69 Mentor

ghost69

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The ones I like are usually taken or not that interested in me.

 

I used to be so jealous of my friend, she always got to date the hottest guy at work or at school, they were usually very popular and had a pretty active social life. And she always got the type of guy that she wanted, the ones she found to be very attractive.

 

Me on the other hand, I always have to settle for somebody that is just not what I really want. Either he's too short, too quiet, not funny enough, not cute enough for me. I'm just with them because I'm lonely. I never feel happy or fulfiled though.

 

wow, that is just great to do to other people. :splat:

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D_Lish Rookie

D_Lish

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So would i.

 

I'd rather be alone too...

 

98% of men who have approached me, I am NOT attracted too.

2% of them Im attracted...actually it might be lower than even 2%...lol

I aint easy pleased....

 

If we all just settled, I highly doubt there would be any single people on the planet,,,

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pinkelephant Community Regular

pinkelephant

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uhm, i just say i'm not interested or they aren't my type. it's not that hard.

 

ya, like.. get over yourself. i mean, i'm not perfect, i've done this before to my last bf. i was only with him to get over the previous one. then i realized how selfish it is. other people have feelings too. yours are not the only one that matter. ](*,)

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Nixee Enthusiast

Nixee

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I feel for you... I get approached by a lot of guys that I'm not attracted to either, and it is frustrating.

 

On top of that, I finally go for a guy I'm attracted to and find mutual attraction and over and over things don't work out it seems.

 

But ya know what? I STILL say don't settle. Bleh. Just can't do it.

 

Finding something that works is difficult, but please stop selling yourself short. If you aren't attracted to someone, don't force it. And if you are... take it one step at a time.

 

If it were easy... these boards probably wouldn't exist haha

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pinkelephant Community Regular

pinkelephant

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Well, yeah, those kind of guys seem fun to be around. But no, I'm not that outgoing and have never been popular. But I always wanted to be apart of the crowd and date those kind of guys

 

then it's possible that they don't see how they can connect with you seeing as you aren't very similar. it could be something to think about. like, if you want a guy who is into literature, you wouldn't try to find him in a kegger. lol i mean, you could but your chances are slim.

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BronzedSkin123 Enthusiast

BronzedSkin123

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then it's possible that they don't see how they can connect with you seeing as you aren't very similar. it could be something to think about. like, if you want a guy who is into literature, you wouldn't try to find him in a kegger. lol i mean, you could but your chances are slim.

 

So what should I do to appeal to those kind of guys?

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FortunateOne Community Regular

FortunateOne

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you know, there's a saying that "we often find or end up with those who are just like us" people are mere reflections of us how we see ourselves thru others...

 

I agree... There are many old cliches that could shed some light on the reason you attract certain types. I suggest you audit your personal traits that attract those you find repulsive. Maybe the crowed you belong to caters to the men you dislike. This revealing introspective journey can force some changes and social habits that will attract the men you want.

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iLiveWithMyMom Newbie

iLiveWithMyMom

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Even though I'm sure Bronze will disagree with me for the sake of disagreeing with me (lol j/k), I think I know how she feels. I have an unsolicited tendency to get hit on by women much younger than me or women that are not my body-type. Every once in awhile is fine, but when it becomes routine, your self-esteem can take a dive because you begin to wonder what the heck is wrong with you. lol.

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