oceanview Posted July 18, 2009 Share Posted July 18, 2009 I was visiting my granny the other day and we somehow got on the subject of my sexuality and speculation within the family. I keep to myself, so my family doesn't know about my relationships, or dates. I'm closer to my grandmother more than others so she knows about the men I've had in my life. So when she told me she'd love me regardless, I thought maybe she was just saying it without thinking that maybe I do like women. I don't know what came over me, but I asked her if she really wanted to know the truth about how I feel. Caught a little off guard, she replied yes. I told her I like the penis (she cracked up) but I do find some women to be sexy and, in my classic long-winded fashion, that I am open to being with women. Although she is very giving and warm, she is also a very religious person. I didn't know what to expect. She didn't tell me I was going to burn in hell and that it is a sin (well she's never been the really judgemental type). She didn't blame it on the devil. She didn't dismiss my feelings as being confused. I experienced no weird looks, or awkward moments. She just said that she understood where I was coming from and that I am a good person. Eventually, we switched the topic. My time with her the days to follow were normal and great, but even greater is to have someone that really matters to me love me purely for the person I am. I don't really know the purpose for sharing this. Maybe someone needs to hear it. Link to comment
spinstermanquee Posted July 19, 2009 Share Posted July 19, 2009 in your place i would be happy to have a connecting conversation with my granny! Link to comment
chiefoptimizer Posted July 19, 2009 Share Posted July 19, 2009 I don't really know the purpose for sharing this. Maybe someone needs to hear it. Yes, it will bring some hope to many of us here Thank you for posting it! Link to comment
AWT Posted July 19, 2009 Share Posted July 19, 2009 My dad is in his eighties now, and even though I 'came out' nearly two years ago after a long marriage and two children, I knew he was struggling to understand this 'thing' that in his eyes had suddenly pulled my life apart. He never asked me how I was coping and I felt it better to only tell if asked, so I still felt the whole thing was unresolved. He travelled up to spend last week with me, and to be honest it was the first time in my life that we really connected as father and son (long story).. Finally we had the talk I was yearning for, where he admitted his struggle to understand and apologised for it, saying that I need to know that he loves me regardless and always will. I'm just glad that neither of us left it too late to say these things - As though we both knew what that week had to accomplish. Link to comment
hers Posted July 19, 2009 Share Posted July 19, 2009 OP, I'm really glad to read this. I am not gay, but I had a very similar grandmother who I could talk to openly about that (in fact, here's a story about how cool she was: she asked me how my love life was once, and I responded "I've taken an involuntary vow of celibacy". She responded, "Well you've always got your fingers!"). I got rid of religion long ago and she accepted me for it and never said I'll go to Hell for not believing in Jesus anymore. She simply said "I'll pray for you" wenever anything in my life came up, and despite my religious feelings, I took comfort in that. She was hugely accepting adn nonjudgmental and just a beautiful and wonderful person all around. I miss her terribly (she died 2 years ago). It's a wonderful feeling to be so accepted in a society that has a hard time accepting different things than they're used to. I'm very happy for you! Link to comment
folie_a_deux Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 i hope your relationship with your gran lasts for a long time. it's nice to hear something like that once in a while, quite refreshing Link to comment
oceanview Posted July 28, 2009 Author Share Posted July 28, 2009 hersmudders, the comment about the fingers cracked me up! She seemed like a great person. I'm glad you had that connection with your grandma. I sincerely wish you didn't have to miss her. AWT, I'm glad that after all those years, you two finally got that talk you were looking for and that you got those weights off your chests. Folie, thanks. My granny is getting up there, and it's becoming a concern, but I hope it lasts a long time too. Link to comment
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