blondissima Posted July 16, 2009 Share Posted July 16, 2009 My bf cheated on me sexually but not emotionally and I want to know how I can get through it with him. I have already made the decision to stay with him. How can I not bring up the cheating whenever we fight? Link to comment
MushroomGod Posted July 16, 2009 Share Posted July 16, 2009 I guess just don't bring it up. But I wouldn't stay with him or anyone who cheats. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted July 16, 2009 Share Posted July 16, 2009 You just have to realise, you either let it go and forgive him. Or you break up from the pressure of it hanging over your heads. You really need to try and let it go. Could you go to counselling together? Is he doing everything possible to rebuild your trust? It takes two to get over this. You need to be mature about it and if you have said you forgive it, you have to mean that. He needs to do everything he can to show you you have made the right decision. Just remember, as much as it hurts, you have made the decision tow ork it out, and the only way to do that is to forgive, not forget, but not bring it up. Link to comment
Doc Blaze Posted July 16, 2009 Share Posted July 16, 2009 My bf cheated on me sexually but not emotionally and I want to know how I can get through it with him. I have already made the decision to stay with him. How can I not bring up the cheating whenever we fight? its very very tough. for me my ex cheated on me also. tried to make it work. i for gave her but could never forget what she did. i had a lot of built up anger and it was not fair for the relationship. i could never fully trust her again. so i had to break it off. Link to comment
LanceVanceDance Posted July 16, 2009 Share Posted July 16, 2009 Can you give more information about you, about him, about the context behind what happened, etc. Otherwise it's really difficult to have an opinion. Link to comment
blondissima Posted July 16, 2009 Author Share Posted July 16, 2009 You just have to realise, you either let it go and forgive him. Or you break up from the pressure of it hanging over your heads. You really need to try and let it go. Could you go to counselling together? Is he doing everything possible to rebuild your trust? It takes two to get over this. You need to be mature about it and if you have said you forgive it, you have to mean that. He needs to do everything he can to show you you have made the right decision. Just remember, as much as it hurts, you have made the decision tow ork it out, and the only way to do that is to forgive, not forget, but not bring it up. He has a quick temper and I keep pushing issues so we fight. Otherwise things are well. Link to comment
anders055 Posted July 16, 2009 Share Posted July 16, 2009 My bf cheated on me sexually but not emotionally and I want to know how I can get through it with him. So you mean you only feel sexually betrayed and not emotionally betrayed?? When the most sacred connection between a couple has been violated, how can the relationship go on? He doesn't respect your feelings....what's the point of being in a relationship with such a person? Link to comment
blondissima Posted July 16, 2009 Author Share Posted July 16, 2009 So you mean you only feel sexually betrayed and not emotionally betrayed?? When the most sacred connection between a couple has been violated, how can the relationship go on? He doesn't respect your feelings....what's the point of being in a relationship with such a person? I already said I choose to be with him and I'm not looking to be judged on anything but finding a way to work at it with him Link to comment
anders055 Posted July 16, 2009 Share Posted July 16, 2009 Sorry, didn't mean to judge you, I have been through the same thing myself. Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted July 16, 2009 Share Posted July 16, 2009 My exhusband cheated and I could not get past it. I would recommend counceling. Link to comment
nhisname2002 Posted July 16, 2009 Share Posted July 16, 2009 If you're going to stay together you have to remember that your relationship will never again be the same, it can only be different. You'll have to sit down with him and develop a plan. Discuss the things about it that bother you the most and make sure he understands them completely. You have to be able to talk about anything at anytime to him. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted July 16, 2009 Share Posted July 16, 2009 Did you properly discuss with him why he cheated, why he was tempted, in what context this occurred (too much to drink, always had his eye on this person). Is he really sorry for what he has done? Is he trying to make amends? If you have chosen to forgive him and continue the relationship then you have to put it behind you. Forgiving someone and moving forward in the relationship means that you have to look at the relationship you have with him, see the wonderful things you have with him and all the wonderful things in the future you will have with him. You have to put images of his indiscretion out of your mind and you have to refrain from "beating him up" with it. Lashing out at him means that you haven't truly forgiven him and haven't truly put this behind you enough to make the relationship work. After cheating BOTH sides need to work at re-building..the cheater needs to be sincerely regretful and showing how much he/she cares...the person who was betrayed needs to put it in the past and lay it to rest. If you can't lay it to rest and it still eats away at you then you might not be ready to resume this relationship. Link to comment
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