How long until she contacts? Or will she?

[alonealone]

I have decided not to contact my ex anymore and hope for the best. It has been less than a week since our last contact, email, and a month since I have seen her. The situation is somewhat complicated, as are most I guess. I have come to peace with our breakup but still wonder what she will do. Actually even if she came crawling back, which I doubt, I still might not take her back. Guess I'm just looking for opinions on what to expect, or what not to expect.

 

I get the strong feeling that my ex has been pushing me away for months. Probably because she has had a few failed relationships in the past, major ones. We went out for a year, fell in love and all that good stuff. Truly was the best relationship I have ever been in. By-the-way we are both in our late 20's. Of course things started to change, really change. She got mean and stopped including me in her life. Not gradually, just like BAM!

 

So around a month ago we had a talk, I insisted. She suggested we take a break. I said OK and we didn't speak for around 3 weeks. I got an email about getting some of my stuff and her getting some things back. We spoke briefly on the phone and I got a little upset. Then later I sent an email apologizing. Since then I called her to talk and left a message. She called later that night and asked to call me the following night. Sounds great. But she never called. So I called and left messages and she emails the next day with a lame excuse. This went on for about a week. I told her I wanted to decide if we were going to work it out, stay on a break a bit longer or just break up.

 

Finally one day she emails me saying we have been broken up for a month. Which we have not, in my book taking a break does not mean it's over. So basically I told her she just dumped me because I was willing to work on our relationship and she wasn't. In my final email I told her I hope we can be friends and if she wants to she can call me sometime.

 

Hope I'm not boring anyone yet.

 

So it seems to me that she wanted to kind of let things slide off into nothingness. If she had broken up with me straight out then she might have seen it as her fault and another failed relationship. That's what I think.

 

Well she also seemed a bit mad over the whole thing, in her emails at least, and never replied to my hope we can get along. This makes me wonder if she ever will.

 

If I were to do the no-contact thing, at some point she should contact me and then I can play "the game". But I just am not sure if she will contact me. I guess it hasn't even been a week since I stopped contacting her so who knows?

 

We'll what does everyone else think? Like I said I am not going to do anything but move on with my life. Just would like the satisfaction of knowing I didn't spend a year with someone who is totally heartless.

 

Thanks Everyone.

[lipstick]

Thats a pretty sad story, but hey..........

i guess its not the end, isn't ???

Maybe you should give her a time ,but c'mon don't act like you don't care any more about her since you are on a break.......................

If i were you, i WOULD call her............

I would just call weekly and ask how is she doing, how the work, is there any problems, maybe she needs your help or something...........

When you guys call a girl, don't just talk about YOUR problems and relationship, talk about her...............

Eventually, she will understand that you are the one who cares about her a lot,............and that means a lot for a woman........i guess..........

don't give up!!!!!!!!!!!

luck

[alonealone]

I tried contacting her several times before I gave up. She would never answer her phone. And I knew she was able too. I don't believe that calling her every week will do any good. But I could be wrong, anyone?

 

We are also not on a break anymore. We are broken up. So I'm not acting like I don't care. I just think it is probably a lost cause and am not going to put forth any effort unless she does.

 

She did not even shed a tear what-so-ever through out the whole thing. Actually I think I have only seen her cry once the entire year we where together. Makes me wonder if she started seeing someone as soon as we went on our break. Or was interested in someone before that.

 

So nothing worked. Now it seems the logical thing should be to just stay away and maybe she will make contact. Wow that sounded like a line from StarTrek. I need to get out more.

 

Anyway love your thoughts everyone.

Fill me with more!

 

Thanks!

[lipstick]

Hey, if you are so angry about her, or your past relationship.........

than why are you waiting for her to call????

if you don't like your past relationship > let it go...........

get a new one, be single, or you can sit home and think about "She did not even shed a tear what-so-ever" thing...........

Your choice

[alonealone]

Like I said, I'm not waiting around for her to call, I am getting on with my life. I just wonder if she ever will call. When you give someone a year of your life you don't want it to end with just an email. At least if she contacts me it will make me feel a bit better about the whole thing.

 

And I am not angry, I have made my peace with it. I am also wanting to make sure I'm not missing anything, that I did not give up too early. Because no matter how bad our relationship got, there was a lot of good in there, and I can't just forget about someone completely.

 

Thanks

[lisaria]

Of course you can't forget about someone you've spent so much time with. If you did then I would say you were cold and not worth the time, but you aren't like that and you are hurting and need some help. This is a great site for that. There are people in pretty much the same situation as you, myself included. It's been two months since I saw my ex and one month since my last email contact from him. I don't think I will ever hear from him again. But life goes on. No one can tell you how much time will pass before your ex calls or even if she will call. But either way you have to spend this time on you. It is so hard right now not knowing things that are important that only she can answer. You may not ever hear another word and you need to be ok with that. I have so many things I'd like to ask my ex, especially why in the hell did he cheat. If he didn't want to be with me then say so, don't string me along and lie to me and do things behind my back. That's wrong. What did I do to deserve that? Oops, sorry I got sidetracked. Still a little anger I'm working on.

People do things that hurt other people. I hate it for all of us. I just know that we will get through this and we will be stronger for it. We will be smarter and better in our next relationship. We will have someone else in our lives. We just had to learn some lesson first and the next time around will be even better. I hope you will not contact her. That will make you look weak, wanting to know the answers that only she knows gives her your power because it puts her in control. Stay strong alonealone and know that you are not alone. We are all here for you. Good luck.

Lisa

[alonealone]

Thanks everyone for your replies.