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Ay0_x's guide to online dating (for women)


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Flash's post was great and some of you guys asked for a she-version. I went through 3 months of e-dating.. I loved it and I met a lot of cool people. I could have met more than I had, but I chose to limit the number. I averaged about 2 dates a week.


Now, let me tell you, it's easier for girls than guys to succeed at online dating. There's less girls using it than guys (usually), so you have a fair dating pool to pick from. Here's how to maximize your chances:



Dress to impress

Literally. Put the best photo up of you POSSIBLE (but make sure it still looks like you, yknow?). A photo from waist up is usually the best because it gives an idea of your face, your hair and your relative weight. Make up, hair, clothes- fix yourself. I can't stress how important a good photo is. About 70% of people will NOT read your profile and will add you based solely on your appearance. It's shallow. It's superficial. It's life. Do it, you'll thank me. Don't give me "I dont want someone wholl judge me based solely on my appearance"- that's good for you, you wont survive in the dating game.


Set up a challenge

In your profile, along with stating what you want in a guy, state very sharply what you do NOT want. You need to come off as confident, you need to come off as though you don't really need a date from these guys (even if you really really do). Bi+tchy is also good. (I'll explain why later).


Why? Because using online dating makes you seem desperate. It's sad, but it does. You need to counteract this by creating the illusion that you're not desperate, you're just busy/you're sick of the guys in your area/you're just comparing online dating. You are not DESPERATE. You are a confident, proud woman.


For example.. When I had my profile up, I swear, I had the bi+tchiest profile. It said things like "Don't contact me if you dress like _______/ don't contact me if you're here to waste my time/ don't contact me if you're fat". It literally said don't contact me if you're fat. Now, on my part, it was a genuine seeking criteria, I'm not physically attracted to overweight men. Guess what? Men still messaged me. OVERWEIGHT MEN still messaged me. And when I did recriprocate, guys would be like "I cant believe you added me lol, i didnt think you'd add anyone!". This will also weed out guys with low self esteem/self confidence who wouldnt have been much fun on the first date anyway. It's a great filter.


Be yourself and be better at the same time. A funny, cooler version of yourself

Do not lie about your interests/hobbies/taste in music. They will find out and you'll look silly. Instead, present your profile in a witty manner. It doesn't matter if you like hiking or shopping. If you make them laugh, they'll put up with both.


If you're a tomboy, great, list all your outdoorsy activities. Trust me, there's guys who like that. And if you're a girly girl (I'm a girly girl), say so, too. There's guys who love the high maintenance thing.


Present the best possible you to the world. You're advertizing yourself. Sell sell sell.


Don't snob people

If you start contacting someone, follow through. Don't lose interest really quickly unless you can tactfully cease contact with them altogether.


Access the site on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday nights mostly.

This is when the site has the most members. Because really, who goes out on these nights? Using the site closer to the weekend (esp Friday/saturday n ight) sends out the desperado vibe. You'll also be able to contact new guys and get to know them to a pretty good extent before the first date on the weekend.


Glam up for webcam.

If you decide to start IMing people off online dating sites and you have a webcam, be prepared to use it. They WILL want to see you on cam. If you're going to cam them, only do so when you look atleast 80% as good as your profile photo. They don't want to see you in track pants and no make up. They will lose interest.



SO. TIPS in a nutshell.


-Be funny. Funny shows smarts. Funny shows you'd be a cool person to hang out with.


-Ask guys a lot of questions about themselves. Most guys on online dating haven't been shown adequate female attention in the past. Appeal to their egos. You'll be adored.


-See through and call guys out on it. If they ask you "so what brings you to this site" dont be afraid to speak your mind, reply with "what an original question". Remember.. you're a challenge.


-Do not write "I like fun" in your profile EVER EVER EVER. It's hte most pathetic line you could use. You like fun? Seriously? No way. I like being bored.


-Be careful of your pics. If your pics send a tramp-vibe, guys will ask you sleezy questions.


-A pic increases your chances of being added by like, a billion per cent. But you need to make the pic a broad-interest pic. Don't wear your Coheed& Cambria shirt in the pic or don your bright pink extensions or heavy eyeliner. Think of it as a job interview. If you're sick of meeting the same guys, chances are if you do what you're always doing, you'll meet an internet version of the same guys


-Have fun. Not everyone will like you, whatever. For every one guy who doesn't like you about six will.


-If you're bisexual, don't say so. If you're looking for a boyfriend, put your orientation as straight, if you're looking for a girlfriend, set it to homosexual. Why? Because if you have it set as bisexual you'll get a lot of "couples" adding you. Gross. Also, guys will take it as an opportunity to ask you sleezy questions. (Sad truth).



Hope that's helpful guys.

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  • 2 weeks later...

A few comments from a guy's perspective.


Men have to struggle with writing ads that draw responses. Women have to struggle with writing ads that will draw the right responses. You can put a reasonable photo up and no text and you'll get emails, but they'll all be from the wrong guys. Guys with self-confidence who want a relationship, not a one night stand, are just as picky about the ads they respond to as women. It's easy to lose sight of that when you're buried under a deluge of responses from the guys who will respond to anything.


While I agree that you want to project confidence, a list of "I don't want XXX" is something of a waste of space. Nothing you write will prevent the inappropriate ones from contacting you. I tend to pass on ads that have a long list of negatives unless the list tells me something about her personality. If she includes things that should be irrelevant, it's a pretty solid indicator she doesn't know what she wants.


This isn't a completely hard and fast rule. A shared dislike of something that's mentioned repeatedly in personals, i.e. camping, can actually be attractive.


Generalities are boring. Cliches are boring. I've seen a thousand women looking for a "partner in crime," the phrase is no longer cute. "I love to laugh" - really? Who hates laughter? If you want to meet someone with "similar interests," at least make clear what those interests are, rather than making us guess.


I second the advice about being honest about your interests and hobbies. Don't assume that inserting something about sports makes you more attractive - not all guys watch sports.

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-If you're bisexual, don't say so. If you're looking for a boyfriend, put your orientation as straight, if you're looking for a girlfriend, set it to homosexual. Why? Because if you have it set as bisexual you'll get a lot of "couples" adding you. Gross. Also, guys will take it as an opportunity to ask you sleezy questions. (Sad truth).



Hope that's helpful guys.


How do you know about this?


So have you ever, you know? haha



Interesting post, thanks for sharing.

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