Babetears Posted April 4, 2004 Share Posted April 4, 2004 I think i am ready to give up on my ex... i don't think i want him back anymore... after all the advice i got and opinion from everyone i know.. i come to a conclusion that i don't think i want him back and that i am better off without him.. since he is not going to change for the better but for the worst... but since i don't want him back any more should i even bother ask him what is the main/real reason why he broke up with me... give me advice on should i ask him or not... thanks... Link to comment
healing Posted April 4, 2004 Share Posted April 4, 2004 If you don't want him back, just let it go. Why talk to him? Do you think he would even tell you the truth? Link to comment
Babetears Posted April 4, 2004 Author Share Posted April 4, 2004 i guess i just want to know... so i shouldn't ask then... and just let it be... Link to comment
Mythical_Suicide Posted April 4, 2004 Share Posted April 4, 2004 I know after my ex and I broke up when I finally decided I should move on there was still something that wasn't straight in my head and that was the fact I never got a reason y we broke up so I asked and I felt so much better after, just knowing. So even if you dont want him back, if you feel its the right thing to do ask him.. Everybody deserves alittle bit of closure in some things.. Ya know. -Mythical Suicide- Link to comment
Babetears Posted April 4, 2004 Author Share Posted April 4, 2004 thanx im still ify if i should ask or not... but i guess for now i will let it go and ask later when i think it's time to ask.... i don't know... heheh thanx for the advice though... Link to comment
GeeCee Posted April 4, 2004 Share Posted April 4, 2004 Yes I agree with Mythical_Suicide - as long as you feel strong enough to take the answer and you think that he will give it, I would ask for the reason, if this will help you to move on in your next relationship. G xx Link to comment
Babetears Posted April 4, 2004 Author Share Posted April 4, 2004 i want to know the answer so badly... but im still doing the no contact with him... it's been a week that i haven't had contact with him... i want to be friends with him so badly if i can't be lover with him anymore... atleast i know i will still have him as a friend... im afraid he wouldn't want to be friends either.... i think this is why i couldn't really sleep rite now... Link to comment
SLBG Posted April 4, 2004 Share Posted April 4, 2004 Hi Babetears, Well I just wanted to tell you something that happened with a previous ex girlfriend of mine. We dated for a year about six years ago. Things were really good between us. I think she was my first real love, actually I no she was my first love. So after a year being in a long distance relationship she decided to give up, she never gave me any reasons just said she wanted to be single and enjoy her life. I beat myself up over the breakup for at least 8 months, didnt no what I had done wrong and couldnt move on. Couldnt contact her, didnt want to contact her. So after a few years she gets in touch, I had met my now ex fiancee and every thing was going well im my life. She asked me If I would visit her and so I did. When we met up, so much had changed, she had changed and we had both moved on. After an hour of catching up she told me she wished she had never split up with me. I told her I didnt have n e bad feelings towards her and that their would always be a place in my heart for her. I then asked her why she left, why she hurt me and never gave me the closure I needed. She told me that she was young, and thought the grass was greener on the other side. Now that she had seen things and grown up she could see she had made a mistake. What im trying to say is, in time you may find out the reasons for the breakup. I think we all no deep down in our heart what went wrong but unless we search for it we will never find it. If you do not want to get back with your ex then there is no reason to find out what went wrong. Knowing will not change anything, just hurt you more. It took me 2 years to find out from her what her reasons where. We all make mistakes in life, and we will all learn by them. The next relationship you have will be stronger, you have learnt so much in the past few weeks and now have the tools to deal with a new relationship. I wish you all the luck in the future. slbg Link to comment
Babetears Posted April 4, 2004 Author Share Posted April 4, 2004 so if i still want him back should i still ask him why??? and when should i ask??? Link to comment
Mythical_Suicide Posted April 4, 2004 Share Posted April 4, 2004 Ask when you feel you are able to accept what he has to say. As a few others have said, it might not be what you want to hear but with me I felt better after knowing.... Guess different people see it different ways. Only ask if you feel like you can though. Maybe knowing will help you really make ur mind up if you want to be with him again or not. Best of Luck -Mythical Suicide- Link to comment
Babetears Posted April 4, 2004 Author Share Posted April 4, 2004 see that is how i feel... i feel like i can't move on with my life without knowing... and like a few have said... what is the point of knowing when you don't plan to be with him again... i just need to know so i can move on with my life... i feel like i don't care if i am ready for the answer or if the outcome won't be what i wanted to hear... i don't care.. i just wanna know the real reason so i can move on and let go... it's easier for me to know the truth for me to let go.... and move on... Link to comment
healing Posted April 4, 2004 Share Posted April 4, 2004 Is he an honest guy? Will he really tell you the real reason? If it is bothering you this much, go ahead and ask...but keep in mind, he may not be honest. He should have been upfront with you when he ended it. If he wasn't honest then, why do you think he will be now? I understand the need for closure...but you might end up with even more questions...which will keep you hooked even longer. Do what is right for you! It's your life! Link to comment
Babetears Posted April 4, 2004 Author Share Posted April 4, 2004 i am very sorry if i am annoying some of you with my problem i just don't know what should i do to get over it... i feel that i need to know... but i don't want to call him yet to ask... i don't know if he will tell me the truth or not... but seems like it to me that he is an honest person cause there were a couple of question i asked him before we broke up and he told me the truth... so like some of you would say he's probably not telling me the truth from the break up because he doesn't want to hurt me more than he already did... but i feel like i should get to know the real reason why... i am very sorry people... thanx a lot... Link to comment
Beec Posted April 5, 2004 Share Posted April 5, 2004 If you want him back, asking is not what will help. First just try to be a friend. You need him to feel secure in contact with you, like you are not coming to get him back. Askign will kill this security. Link to comment
Babetears Posted April 5, 2004 Author Share Posted April 5, 2004 that's something i am not so sure of anymore... im not so sure if i still want him back or not... Link to comment
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