Throwing in the towel???

[skydiver00]

Ive come close to posting this a couple times, but now im currently annoyed enough want to rant a little...

Im thinking of just going out and buying the biggest plain white flag i can find and writing something like "nice game, you win ladies!" and flying it in my front yard...I just dont f-in get it...

Ill say im not the not smoothest talker nor would I give sexiest man/bachelor a run for their title, but would say im attractive 7-8ish (minus my lips, not crazy about them)..im no "comic book guy" from the simpsons at 6' 2ish maybe 165lbs if I wear all my clothes soaking wet, hehe.

My work is very casual, but I always try to keep myself presentable w/ my appearance but working outside, certain days are simply a lost cause.. Ill also

admit that I while I do get out and about, doing so a bit more often wouldnt hurt but I live where "going out" is a bit more planning than calling buds and

saying lets hit happy hr at X in 5 mins.

Ive chatted up some people and gotten a # at a party, only to call and get some line like how the flirting was to help them rebound and nothing actually

meant towards me... Im not overly confident w/cold approaches(Tho im genereally pretty quick witted, I struggle w/this) The few times I have attempted w/someone looking cute and just saying hi ive been met w/a look or a cold feeling hi as tho by acknowledging me they've just opened themselves up to thousands of spores of animal of the week flu...

 

I've given online dating a shot and a half... OVer 8-9 months ive sent 125-150 emails w/responses to maybe 10%...A few were simply to say thanks, but no. Ok that's cool,next. The majority of the rest that replied positively we'd go back and for a few emails and about the time Id ask to meet or just after id ask that'd be it and poof..A couple I did meet i didnt feel it except one, which i totally blew when we met..

Majority of my 1st emails Id picked out something original from their profile or an activity from one of their photo's and commented/ ask about it...Ive

tried copy/paste messages, tried taking the commenting idea a step further and suggested we meet up over the activity(if possible) or meet for a drink or

something so we could get to know each other and discuss "X" some more...

 

During school and growing up I just never felt a need to go crazy in dating and having someone in life constantly... I was happy and enjoyed being

independent etc.. But the last couple yrs I guess ive matured and my desires change and found myself lacking the companionship I once thought I didnt

need..So I set a couple what I figure would be easy attainable goals and id be happy as could be... Getting my dream house and having someone in my life...

The house is closer than it ever has been while the latter seems to be further away than it ever has been. Im just........ It seems anything ive tried really

ive simply been met w/rejection which has left me wondering, why continue to bother???

[Keyman]

I'll have to say, that in oftentimes, that when people set one of their goals as meeting someone special, or having someone in their lives, they end up complaining about the fact that it isn't happening. I aint having a go at you, but I have been in this boat and I complained and felt crap about myself, and it didn't make things any better. In fact, it made me feel worse.

 

So, I went the other way. I'm currently single and broke up with the last girl i was with - I now term Ms Loopy - a couple of months ago. My focus now has been on getting a good life for myself without having someone there. It's going to happen when it's going to happen and I have made myself so busy with everything else in my life that I don't even notice that I am single, alone and do not have a regular companion.

 

Sure, I want to meet someone, get married, settle down and have kids AND I'M 37! But I am not going to hunt under every rock, go to every party, chat up every woman in small hope that something is going to happen. I'm writing novels, I'm saving for a house, I'm setting up board gaming evenings for my friends, everything else is more important than meeting a SO right at the mo. Forget about them for now and you just never know, someone might just come a knocking.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I threw in the towel a long time ago...burned too many times.

[glegend]

I wonder the same question. I know I'm younger then you are op, but still. I know it hasn't been a year since my ex and I broke up but still. I'm lonley, I have no life. I'm terrified that I'm going to stay single for the rest of my life. It seems that rejection is all that I am good at getting and nothing more. I've really considered throwing in the towel, or becomming that a-hole that girls seem to like.

[ellandroader]

Yeah I know how you feel. Too many bad communicators, or in my case, they have deluded ideas of what a man should be these days. I got sick of the push/pull games, the tantrums and the attitude of entitlement that I encountered. I am my own man with my own thoughts, feelings and opinions and some women can't handle that when it comes down to it. So I'll wait for somebody mature enough to come along who respects the concept of it being a 50/50 deal.

 

Needless to say, I too concentrated on myself. I have a business to run, I am studying for my Real Estate credentials, nursing my soccer injuries and my health back to 100%. I am connecting with old friends and making new ones, as well as getting back into the things I enjoyed before, like writing, games, movies, playing soccer etc etc.

 

If a girl out there likes me and wants to get to know me, she knows where I am. Otherwise I am waiting until I am ready. I worry too that I will be alone for the rest of my life but I am damned if I will be an unhappy loner.

 

Keep your chin up pal....and the advice in the previous posts is very good too. Concentrate on self improvement and making yourself happy even when alone.

[GernBlanston]

It's going to happen when it's going to happen and I have made myself so busy with everything else in my life that I don't even notice that I am single, alone and do not have a regular companion.

Forget about them for now and you just never know, someone might just come a knocking.

If a girl out there likes me and wants to get to know me, she knows where I am. Otherwise I am waiting until I am ready.

The trouble is that women tend to be very unlikely to approach a man they're interested in. Advice of this sort - be patient, work on yourself and something will come along - may be appropriate for an attractive woman, who will be approached periodically by men, hopefully some that she finds interesting. For men, though, not devoting any effort to meeting women and then expressing particular interest in them will overwhelmingly result in not meeting any women that are interested.

 

On the other hand, there are some of us that are too shy to be able to approach a woman. There are some of us that have been rejected enough (and so seldom not rejected) that there's little expectation that a woman could ever be attracted. In cases like these, the temptation is to give up and stop making any effort towards meeting someone. It seems to me that rationalising this giving up as "working on yourself" is just an excuse.

[Nutz]

To get you out of this funk, read The Game by Neil Strauss. It's time you slosh off the social programming and realize women these day aren't the same demure "nice" girls they are presented to be by the media. Women cheat, fart, lie, and screw just like everyone else out there. Realize they're just the same as you and me and all the other people out in the world, both good and bad.

 

In short, stop putting them on a pedestal, realize what works with women is largely NOT what you've been raised to believe, and you need to be proactive in getting the level of success you desire. Also, online dating is a huge waste of time for the most part.

 

If you want more info on how to get women interested, then by all means just ask.

[VerdeShimmer]

It took me over 2 years of off and on online dating to find something of substance. Don't give up yet!

[skydiver00]

Well, I totally get what your saying in your first paragraph and it makes perfect sense. Ive always felt that itll happen when it happens to, but my gosh im thinking give me some kinda hope!

The other thing is im looking at this from almost the entire other side of the fence... I mean most of you have had sometime of longer/meaningful relationship at one time.. I havent and only a couple short meaningless flings (lack of a better word) at that... I just want to have that, then i can come here asking what have i gotten myself into

Im really trying to not focus on it, but I really feel that this is the only thing im lacking.. I mean ive spent the past last few yrs working on myself overall and im pleased with where im at, if I could just get this to look at all positive...