how long does it take!?

[exback]

So 4 months ago my fiance broke up with me after 4 years. He was my first love (I am 23) and I was his first love (he is 25). He started ignoring me and deleted all my friends and my sister at facebook. I don't know whether or not he is sad but truth is: he left and didn't even consider coming back and I was begging and pleading for weeks. So I miss him but I don't think it would be possible to turn back time and pretend it never happened...

 

Has anyone experienced a long long first love (4 years), nearly got married and and then dumped by him...

 

It's been 4 months now and I dated other guys, I met friends and so on but still it feels like dying every day and I miss him more and more...

 

HOW LONG WILL THAT PAIN LAST!? HOW LONG DID YOU GUYS SUFFER!?

[doiiiieeezie]

Take your time, why date others right now if you are still in pain ? Be good to you, take care of yourself, find hobbies that you always wanted to be a part of. In terms of the pain, I can't tell you, my ex broke up with me less than 3 weeks ago and while I have been holding my own since, I have my moments at night, heck even when I am at work and all I want to do is calm down and go home to cry some. I have not begged for him to come back, have not sent him emails, I have written blog posts around being sad, which I know is a HUGE mistake, (and he has read them) but I am going back into strict NC (no stalking,(ie- checking youtube, to see if he read my blog etc) Be strong, and focus on you.

 

Love yourself first before trying to be with another. Take care.

[retired1]

Each person is different in how they deal with a breakup. For some, it's a matter of months, where some take longer. The key is time. Use it to heal and get back to a state where you're happy with yourself. It's normal to mourn after a breakup. Just don't let it control your everyday activities.

[annie24]

have you gone to talk to a therapist? that might be helpful for you - to talk about where things went wrong with him. maybe to help you process your thoughts.

 

keep at making new friends, and new hobbies and all that!

[quirky]

I think 4 months is not long enough to get over a 4 year relationship, especially if he was your first true love. You just need more time..as far as dating I would say don't try and get involved with anyone, some flirting is ok and fun.

 

I have been very close to someone (he is my first true love as well) and I'm finding it very hard to let it go, we did break up at some point for about 2 months and I had never experienced such a rotten feeling. He's not letting go either since he's never loved someone as much but I'm now trying to see things beyond emotion and understand that no matter the love, the excuses, the past traumas, the fear, if they wanted to be with us wholy we wouldn't be here now.

 

So what helps me nowadays is actually not analyzing it too much and see that I ain't gonna waste myself on someone who finds it hard for whatever reason to totally value me. I read the book "He's just not that into you" and it cleared and simplified things a lot, plus it's funny!