joethe Posted June 12, 2009 Share Posted June 12, 2009 Ok so if you dont already know, me and my ex broke up 5 days ago. We live 45 min away from each other and have a 2 year old son together. I gave in last week and told her i would move out there. Even though i go to school and work out here and she is on disabilitie from a car accident. So i gave in and she broke up with me that same night, completley broke my heart. So i texted her with "i no longer want you in my life not even as friends please dont text or call me unless it has something to do with our son." Then yesterday (2 days later) she texted me with: " Im so sorry but i cant take this. I am so freaking in love with you i cant think straight. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and our sonas a family. Now i need to work extra hard to try to get the that point. Im never letting go of us, i dont care what you say. Give me a couple months, youll see." I never texted her back, again today she texted me still havent texted back. What do i do, i want to be with her but i need somethings from her. First of all i need her to move out where im living, and i really need her to realize what she has. What should i do? should i text back or just leave it alone and see what time can do to her? should i tell her that i cant do this anymore and hope that she will change her ways and pursue me and never break up with me again? man im so confused, at least im not texting her back this time, i feel very strong and need some advice thanks. Link to comment
Kahdeksan Posted June 12, 2009 Share Posted June 12, 2009 Personally, I don't see this relationship being over... it still has a chance. I still think you have a very good chance of getting back with her, and she also stands a very good chance of turning a new leaf. I had a little peruse of your previous posts and I'd just wanted to say that everyone deserves a second chance. So message her back and let her know that you appreciate what she is willing to go through to make this relationship workout in the long run. And no doubt you'll do the same, but also let her know that minimal contact is for now, the best route to healing. Allowing both parties to reflect and to get some much needed 'me' time to work on the kinks. You don't need to let her know she has to change, this she already knows and acknowledges. You can't ignore her forever. By responding to acknowledge her change, your actions could very well serve as a means of an even bigger incentive for her to get her act together and change from her old ways. Sometimes, all it takes is the dawning and the realization of what you've lost to turn a new leaf. In this case, she seem genuinely pure in doing so. Link to comment
DN Posted June 13, 2009 Share Posted June 13, 2009 What did she say in the text she sent today? Link to comment
joethe Posted June 13, 2009 Author Share Posted June 13, 2009 today she texted me with : "You are the best father, thanks so much. Our son always comes back so happy after being with you. And thats it im done texting and im done apologizing" she said this because yesterday i told her to leave me alone. So confusing.... i dont get her one bit.. I know she wants to be with me, i think she might just be scared because this is the first time that since we broke up that im not texting her back telling her i miss her..The only reason i am not texting back is because i want her to really see what she has and that if she keeps breaking up with me all the time, im not going to hang around forever. AS you can see she does all the dumping as i always leave her alone after she always pulls this same stuff, but there is some type of sincerety in this one. But i want her to really want to go above and beyond to make our family work and this includes moving back out where im living so i can finish school and remain working.. what should i do ? text her back or no? Link to comment
DN Posted June 13, 2009 Share Posted June 13, 2009 No. This is still manipulative. When do you next see your son? Link to comment
joethe Posted June 13, 2009 Author Share Posted June 13, 2009 what do you mean she maniulating me? I see him next in 3 days Link to comment
DN Posted June 13, 2009 Share Posted June 13, 2009 You are the best father, thanks so much. Our son always comes back so happy after being with you She is trying to get you to respond by complimenting you and bringing up your son. Do you see her when you pick up your son? If so, I would wait until then and see if she says anything. Link to comment
joethe Posted June 13, 2009 Author Share Posted June 13, 2009 i droped him off today and she asked if i had a second so we could smoke.. (i know its a bad habit which im trying to break) I said ok, then she appologized again for hurting me then i said its ok and said its too late.. I dont know why i said it was too late i guess it just came out.. And that was pretty much it, i had to leave cause i had work.. DN, you dont think i should text her back, should i give it some time? I know she not going to text me anymore because im have been responding for the last 3 days Link to comment
DN Posted June 13, 2009 Share Posted June 13, 2009 No, I don't think you should text her back. She isn't asking anything. Wait until you see her again. Link to comment
joethe Posted June 13, 2009 Author Share Posted June 13, 2009 Thanks a lot DN. I just dont want to wait 2 months for us to be together, we have had such a bad 4 months that i feel if i going to wait 2 months i might as well be on my way by myself. I think that if she feels the pain of me not texting her back and her thinking that i might not want to be with her anymore, maybe she will go above and beyond to be with me.. Does my thinking make any since? Link to comment
DN Posted June 13, 2009 Share Posted June 13, 2009 She needs to understand the consequences of her decision - and she can't do that if you are texting back and forth with essentially meaningless messages. Link to comment
joethe Posted June 13, 2009 Author Share Posted June 13, 2009 yes i agree... so your saying just be strong and dont text back right? give her some time to think ? Link to comment
joethe Posted June 13, 2009 Author Share Posted June 13, 2009 Wow, so last night i was getting ready for bed and checked my phone. She texted me three times. She said that she wants to spend the rest of her life with me and she is willing to sacrafice and move out here where im living so we can be a family again. I can tell she really wants us to work this time. I guess that waiting game really paid off and made her realize. Thanks DN for all of your advice Link to comment
DN Posted June 13, 2009 Share Posted June 13, 2009 OK - I think you should tell her that you need to discuss all of this in person rather than by text. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.