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Friendly chatter while fishing for information?


SprocketRocket
English Conversation Practice | Sma...
English Conversation Practice | Small Talk | Expressing Concern for Someone

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First of all, there is obviously a reason I'm posting in this forum - I've never been a social butterfly to say the least. I'm okay (okay - I wouldn't say good) talking to someone if they start the conversation but for whatever reason I dread starting a conversation myself. And even if the other person does start it, there are still times when there is the awkward silence.

 

Anyways, a quick setup - I've been getting my hair cut by the same person since I was born (I'm 27 now. And this isn't about the person that cuts my hair haha). 6 or 7 months ago she moved to a new location and recently I've noticed the receptionist there to say the least. When I first started going there I was in a relationship so I didn't really notice her (funny how that works...). Things didn't work out so now I would like to at least make an attempt at asking her out. This would not be a rebound relationship either. Its been some time now since my last relationship ended and I've moved on and am ready for a new one. Obviously I know nothing about her other then the fact she doesn't have a ring on her finger. My question is, how do I start a small conversation with her while subtly trying find out what her situation is (boyfriend, etc...)? She seems to be a nice girl, I mean, I'm not afraid of her being mean or arrogant or whatever (then again, I am a customer so she really cant be haha). I don't want to come off to strong either, at least until I know whether or not she is involved with anyone I guess. The last thing I want to do is make things awkward every time I go there. Plus, to make it harder, at least in my mind, her area is not blocked off from the rest of the place so everyone can hear and see everything going on. I don't want to embarrass myself. And one more thing, it's not like I see her all the time. She is usually there when I go, but I only go once every 3 - 5 weeks or so. So what can I do? How can I start a conversation with her as I wait to get my hair cut, as well as subtly try to get some info out of her and get her interest?

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First, don't over analyze things. OK, now lets analyze this (lol)

 

1.) does she (the receptionist) know you or at least recognize you?

 

2.) Can you ask your hair cutter (that you've known for 20 whatever years) a few questions about her? Remember, girls talk so if you ask your haircutter as to the receptionists status then for sure she's gonna mention it to her!

 

3.) is there anything...ANYTHING on her desk of interest that you could use as an "in" - coffee mug from marine-land or arty-motif kind of desk toy that

you could use in opening conversation "hey, wow, I see you have XYZ there"

 

4.) If you are shot down (let's face it, this is a "cold call" so the odds are stacked against you) are you going to be OK with seeing her next time you get your haircut?

 

1) Know me? - No, we've never spoken other then "your here to see ____?" "yep" type of stuff. But yes, I supposed she recognizes me considering she knows who I'm there to see - or she just knows by looking at the schedules and might not be able to put my name on a list to a face lol.

 

2)Maybe, I dont know. I was trying to avoid doing this, however, if the opportunity presented itself I would take advantage of it. Thing is her chair is right next to where she sits.

 

3)Yea I was kinda thinking of something along those lines. Maybe even a "you look bored" if she's just sitting there type of thing to get started.

 

4)Honestly, yea I think I would be. It would probably be weird the first time or two but I really don't care I guess. As for the "cold call" thing, yes I see what you are saying. However, I wasn't planning on going in there next time and doing it all at once. Ideally, I would like to go in a few times chat a bit to the point were she is comfortable talking to me and vice-versa (I was going to say that I'd like to be able to pick up something that would show whether or not she has any interest in me but I really think that wouldnt work. She is working when i see her so she pretty much has to be friendly to everyone haha).

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