Why did i put myself back into this situation?

[Loriana]

Ok this post might be kind of long so bare with me people. Ok so about 3 years ago i met this guy...lets call him D. I met D on this site called flixster where u can chat about movies and rate them etc. We started to talk and both seemed to have simular interests in movies and films and we both had the same personality trates. A coupe of weeks past by and we became good friends i kind of knew he liked me because he kept asking for my number and stuff but i was too shy to do anything about it so i would make up an excuse like my phone was on charge or something. I was having personal issues outside of cyber land (internet) and at the end of the day he always seemed to be right there ready to talk. he has kind of been always there. i noticed that i had started to feel things for him which felt kind of strange ot me cosi was like how can i like a guy online nothings ever gonna happen?. I tried for a while to ignore it but i couldn't i started to think about him and get butterflies and i couldn't wait till the next time that we talked. Eventually we both admitted that we liked eachother and after that we became closer and it turned into love. next thing you know we were saying i love you. I remember our first phone conversation he told me he could sit there and talk to me all day cos my accent was really sweet. I could barely sleep that night. Mionths past and it got harder for me asi fell depper knowing that i could never be with him cos he lives in northern ireland and i live in london. my personal issues got worse and our relationship wasnt helping me and i grew into a depressed state of mind. It finally came to an end when i knew i had to end it cos it was just too hard for me. he was already getting obsessive with me like texting me all day right up until 2am in the morning. So i'd thought i could use that as part of my plan to lose contact with him i knew if i hurt him he'd leave me alone, so i made up a huge lie to my friend and told him that D was stalking me and was a pedophile. He did end up leaving me alone. A year passed by and as i got my life back together i always felt like a part of me was missing and i knew in my heart it was him. I really missed him so i'd thought id drop him an email and tell him how sorry i was for everything all i wanted to know was if he was ok. He emailed me back and recently we've been talking again which i knew was the worst decision to make. I lied to him and told him i have a boyfriend cos i thought that would make things easier so he wouldnt b all swwet to me. Im starting to fall for him again and this is exactly what i didnt want to happen. im scared that im gonna get myself into a depressed state again. i just want to lose contact with him again but hes been a big part of my life for 3 years now and not talking to him is like dehydrating myself. i did have my life back on track and now ive messed it all up again just cos i missed him. I am so stuck on what to do cos a part of me is saying lose contact with him and the other half is saying dont leave him. I dont know what to do someone please help me.

[tulipsfav]

Can not believe that this guy even replied to you after that awful lie you told. Personally i dont think you know what you want. Is this how you treat someone that you love?

[Unknown1607307972]

Why did you do that to him? That's so mean! By the way I live in London too and my boyfriend is in Denmark, that's further away. And we met online too. If you really cared about him why didn't you give it a shot? I am a student so I'm hardly rich but I didn't want to let someone I love go.

 

If you really didn't want to do the long distance thing then you should have told him straight up without telling any lies. You could really mess with someones feelings by lying.

[Loriana]

I asked for help...not for you lot to have a go at me when you don't know half my situation!!. Yeah i probably don't know what i want and i know what i did was wrong but in my defence he got a girlfriend outside of the internet and didn't either bother telling me i had to find out on his bebo page. Also he hept begging for naked pics of me and i didnt wanna send them cos i respected myself too much but i loved him and i sent them to him and he asked for more aswell. Then it all became about sex after that. I was only 15 at the time and he was like 18 at the time. So yeah that is kind of wrong.

[anya1607307555]

If you really believe you are suffering being in contact with him...stop contacting him. It won't be easy, of course it won't, it will be very painful before you feel any improvement. But I'm just saying, if you make that decision, stick it out, ride the storm, then it is entirely possible to be okay without him in your life. Good luck, oh and ENA is available 24hrs a day if you need someone to talk to, as opposed to contacting him.

[Loriana]

Thank you so much.