my worst obstical before death

[dan10]

first off dont apologize for being a pessimist. cause without pessimists there can be no optimists. but anyways...

 

some of those things you said i agree with completely, like curing yourself of bipolar and stuff, no i dont think its "curable" but i think that if you are aware of it and know that you have the problem you can stop yourself before you go bonkers on someone. i know alot of girls that pull it off on their period. and they actually get nicer when it is their time of month because they know that they want to be angry at nothing so they stop themselves.

 

now about feeding you stuff that aggravates you... i said people can't change their outlook. i said that people can choose what to see. as in what they look upon. for example, yes there is a war in iraq, and there are bombings and killings over in Israel and Palestine, but that stuff doesnt effect my life on a daily basis. so i just choose to ignore it and that is one less bad thing that i see. and trust me when i say that i know you can twist this into me being hypocritical or something because i know that i could do it easily. but you need to choose which filter you want to look through. like to you want to look through a filter that filters out the good or one that filters out the bad. and i use good and bad based on what most people think of as good and bad. personally i think everything just is and there is no good or bad stuff just happens. but thats a different story.

 

and with your brain chemistry argument... you're wrong. you can change your brain chemistry and how you think and act and react. you said that if a lion is charging at someone they are going to panic because it is natural and that cant be changed. well thats wrong. you can train yourself to stay calm and not panic when a lion is charging at you. here's an example of where thinking overcame brain chemistry. september 11th 2001. when the world trade centers got hit by the planes, the "natural" reaction is run as far away as possible as fast as possible because they buildings are coming down. but what about all those firemen and rescue workers that decided "you know what, that building is about to collapse.... lets run up the stairs and see if we can save anyone." our basic animal instincts tell us to preserve our life and to reproduce. but those people blatantly disregarded everything that nature was telling them and that their natural brain chemistry would tell them and went in there knowing they were not coming out. so you can change it. other ways to change your brain chemistry are doing things like alot of exercise or eating certain foods. this forces the body to produce certain chemicals in the brain which alter moods and emotions. so it can be done.

 

now the last thing... brain chemistry effecting your thoughts. i honestly do not think it is possible for a person's brain chemistry to effect their thoughts. see, thoughts are just reactions of your personality to an outside stimulus. and a person's personality is just a collection of outside influences on an impressionable mind. its like when you are born your personality is a blank piece of paper. and then with every experience you have it is like someone is writing something on it. at the beginning each mark changes the look of the paper drastically, but after a while they stop making such a big impression. so if i am right about this stuff (which i may not be, i'm open to that possibility) then thoughts are basically a reaction that all your past experiences have to a new... or old stimulus. and that pretty much knocks brain chemistry out of the equation.

 

now i could go on all night like this because i love to argue about things... especially things that have no definitive answer, i really should stop because i'm rambling pretty bad.

[dan10]

ok now the reason i wanted to post something here was because i have a question for everyone. i know that i am supposed to be happy all the time because that is what i am doing. but i was wondering if it is ok for me to do something that will make me sad and depressed at certain times. specifically what brought this up for me was that i went into my room tonight, and picked up my guitar. now there is one song, wait for me, that always makes me think about my ex and how much i miss her, and it makes me depressed. (i know i should get over her and blah blah blah but i dont want to and in august she's coming out to visit so if i cant get her to get together with me then i'll get over her) now the thing that makes this conflicting for me is that depression isnt the only thing i feel when i play the song. i also feel comfort. like this overwhelming feeling of protection that just makes me feel good. its kinda like the feeling we all get when our SO gives just that perfect hug and says everything is going to be ok when we are really upset and it makes u feel better despite anything else. its like that only it comes from inside me. now i know that this is probably a horrible thing because i feel like a crack addict now. i know that the comfort is coming from the depression because i am comfortable being depressed. and yet it is just such a good and happy (thats really the best word to describe it) feeling that i'm like addicted to it.

 

so is it ok for me to make myself a little depressed to have that comfort, as long as i do it in a controlled setting like right before bed? or do i need to just drop it like its hot and stay away from the comfort of being depressed?

 

o and its not like a lingering depression. it goes away as soon as another thought pops into my head. idk if that makes a difference or not

[knightingale]

I think if it is comforting and you can pull yourself out of it and not allow it to linger, then it's okay. Going from depressed to happy is NOT going to be easy, and that is fine. Get there however you need to. If that means taking a moment to be sad, then do it. I can be having the best day ever, but I will hear a sad song that I love and allow myself to enjoy it--even if it means shedding a tear or two.

 

You're doing great, dan. Not all the days are going to be easy, just keep pressing on.

 

PS

Wait for Me by which artist? I only know a song by that name by Susan Tedeschi.

[dan10]

its by theory of a dead man. it was probably a bad idea for me to learn it seeing as the only reason i heard about it is because my ex told me she likes it.

[agatha]

hey dan! good to hear from you. how's everything going?

 

sorry for taking kinda long, I've been terribly busy these days... well, first of all - I never said I was cured, I'm just out of meds and in relative balance. it takes a lot of effort to get here and stay like this by myself (as in with no chemical support), but it's possible, and that's what I dared you to do.

 

as in 'balance' I mean 'being able to react to daily situations on a "normal" way'. crying on a funeral, or laughing at a joke are normal reactions to normal situations. you can't just smile all the time in perfect joy (that would be mania X D). I think only you can measure how sad that song will make you, but here's my piece of advice:

 

learn to differ transitory sadness from the one you're shrugging off. if it feels like watching a movie (crying when that awesome character gets dumped, and 4min later laughing because of a good joke), good for you. if you keep replaying the depressing moment on your head, better take a break from that, just until you learn how to deal with it. life is never fully good, nor fully bad. you got that very well defined already. stick to getting the best you can from each experience, and you'll be on the right path.

 

(I so wanted to not finish it with a cliche, but it was stronger than me. sorry = )

[dan10]

first off... i dont conform to "normal" as you think of it. as far as i'm concerned the proper thing to do at a funeral is to smile and be happy. the dead person doesnt have to deal with any of the crap in the world anymore so as far as i'm concerned it is a joyous occasion that should be celebrated. as it has been with many cultures like the Egyptians.

 

and people can smile all the time in perfect joy. i know someone who did. she was completely insane annoying and should be in a padded room with a straitjacket on but she smiled all the time.

 

and i'm sorry for being mean... i just havent been able to do anything today and it is alot harder to be happy when i'm alone then it is when i can do things with people

[agatha]

to be honest, I've never cried in a funeral, and I've been to a good bunch of them. the most important ones to me were of one of my best friends at age 8, my stepfather and my favorite grandma. I used it as an example because it was the first thing that came into my mind as a moment where everyone cries X p

 

and as to smiling all the time in perfect joy - I said that doing it is only possible while on a mentally alterated state (according to the books), as mania... on a daily basis, we're all expected to experience highs and lows.

 

why couldn't you do anything today?

 

p.s.: I like the mexican festivals in celebration of the dead. they are really joyful, and the food sooo delicious! I get hungry just by thinking about it...

[mylastwords23]

Honestly, the whole "death is permanent argument" never made any sense to me. With most of life's mistakes, you'll probably spend some time afterward regretting your decision. However, how exactly is someone who is dead going to regret his decision? So many people say, "Permanent solution to a temporary problem." Exactly how many years does the misery need to last in order for it to no longer be classified as a "temporary" problem. People always respond with the same tired platitudes, never a logical argument, and they always seem to know your life and its struggles better than you do. They recall their own short-lived failures and what they subsequently achieved. It's ridiculous for them to put themselves in your shoes because, if that were truly possible, then they would feel exactly the same way you do.

 

In Japanese culture, suicide is perceived as an acceptable means to avoid bringing shame or dishonor upon one's family.

 

Trying to prevent someone who has committed themselves to it openly, honestly, and rationally would seem to be more an act of control than compassion. We can't tell others what religion to follow, what career to engage in, or who to marry. In fact, our culture embraces the ideal that every person should be given the opportunity to choose their future, make their own life-changing decisions. If it is inappropriate to tell people how to live their lives or how to feel, how does it suddenly become alright to tell people when and how to die?

 

If someone is lucid and rational, what could possibly be the justification for involuntary institutionalization? Being suicidal does not instantly mean someone is crazy, and yet that is the most commonly held presumption on this issue.

[dan10]

finally... someone who is completely rational about this. but about how long it has to last before it is perminent.... i think the common acceptance by non suicidal people is.... forever. but u know... i've been to 3 different mental institutions and they couldnt help me at all. which for me is proof enough that i'm completely rational and sane.

 

now to the bold part... ur wrong... at least where i live. in california people do tell other people who they can and cant marry. actually there was just this big election about whether or not gay people can get married and it was voted that they arent allowed to because "marriage is an institution between a man and a woman" which is complete horse * * * * . but i'm not gay so i dont have to worry about it and it'll get turned over soon cause the people who voted to make marriage only between a man and a woman, i think it was like 95% of them being over the age of 40 or something. so when they start to die off it'll change.

 

 

 

 

now to the reason i came on tonight... i just spent a few minutes on the floor cause i was working out, and i i'm like totally exhausted but i keep going. so i'm like "o god i'm gonna kill myself doin this" thats when i fell on the floor laughing that i was gonna stop being suicidal and get in shape no matter what... even if it kills me.

 

i just thought the irony was funny.

 

anyways i gotta get back to killing myself now talk to you all later

[agatha]

well, I believe in reincarnation, so this whole fuss about death never made much sense to me. I just don't think there's too much of a difference in being dead or alive, so I'd rather find happiness wherever I am = ).

 

it's so human to try to tell others what's best for them. I believe everything you do after a certain age should be your choice, but maybe that's too forward for any society in this world. someday we'll get there, hopefully...

 

 

 

thx for sharing your ironic moment, made me laugh = )

 

(and remember to pm me a pic of yours shirtless when you get fit - if you survive the process ; )

 

 

[jk]

[dan10]

just in case anyone still wanted to know...

 

i gave up on being happy because being happy only lead me to problems. so i've decided to go back to being an isolated person, alienating everyone around me so that i keep myself away from having to deal with the crap that comes with being close to people. it just isnt worth it in my life.

 

so thank you for all your support in my quest to be happy but i quit

[dolfin]

what does that mean?

[dan10]

what does that mean?

 

it means i give up on trying to be happy. i am just going to go back to isolating myself and only dealing with my own problems because the benefits of being nice and friendly and happy with people arent worth the problems that it causes

[dolfin]

its a revolving door. I can relate. Isolation minimizes the problem, but in actual reality conjures up a bigger problem which is loneliness. Against fear and social anxiety, there is loneliness. But we are made to feel social connections with one another. Therefore, what you say may seem appealing compared to trying and forcing yourself to become involved with others, but you must realize that life is all about karma, law of attraction. If you self pitty, others will feel that and react to that image you present. I know this first hand. I just last year had many things going for myself, was at the "top" for many things I was doing and then messed things up out of fear and anxiety. Now Im a hermit, with on and off ideation. But I do no that suicide doesn't solve anything. Consciencness continues. Im still isolative, but on some meds and trying to figure out happiness inside myself, because I know its going to be an uphill battle externally. One that will be very painstaking.

 

I hope you can face the pain sooner than later. I wish you the best. You are not alone and life has joy, we are the ones that block it. Its not easy, especially as you get older and have regrets and dont let go, (which I do).

best

[dan10]

i'm not isolating myself because of social anxiety or fear. it is simply a better option for me then being out there and caring. and it really isnt isolating myself... its more of emotionally separating myself. i'm basically taking my emotions and putting them in a box and hiding it away so i dont have to deal with it.

[dying71]

stop blaming the world for your misery. there's no one up there looking at you and thinking 'what can I do to make him feel worst?'. if god really exists (bear with me, I believe in him, but I need some space to build the argument) do you really, really think he'd create a being just to make it suffer? I don't think so. but he gave us free will, to live our lives as we want to live.

 

and if he doesn't exist and you are but the result of a series of coincidences, hey, you can be alive for about 100 years. which is time enough to experiment on a big bunch of things. what would you like to experiment? happiness? where do you think happiness lies?

 

I have been through those feelings also. The thing that people dont realize, is that God has a plan, and everything since the beginning is included in his plan, it is already written. Yes we do have free will and it is in Gods plan. The days of your life are numbered in the Book of Life, God's book.

JUST BECAUSE YOU PRAY, DOES NOT MEAN IT WILL HAPPEN. IF IT IS NOT IN GOD'S PLAN, IT WILL NOT HAPPEN. YOU CAN PRAY, TRY TO SELL YOUR SOUL. WHATEVER YOU THINK, ITS STILL GOD'S PLAN.

 

Just maybe, just maybe pain and suffering is in God's plan, so that when he returns, all humans will see his true grace, and all the pain and suffering will be gone forever.

 

As for people trying to tell someone it will get better? come on are they psychic, if they are ask them for the winning lotto numbers, a great reason to live.

 

No try to do what you can to make yourself happy.. Everyone is different and respond to mental anguish differently. If they have not been in that position, they cannot truly understand. Its just like a white guy telling a black guy I know what you are going through. Yeah right, suggest him that both of you drive BMWs in LA and see if he gets the same treatment.

 

Come on its life, I have had struggles, and am still struggling. I cannot speak for you, but I feel like ending it too sometimes. Maybe one day I will, only GOD knows.

 

I had dreams of having a family and a home as I got older in life, and that is all but gone. People say your only 38 you can have kids. but I said a family, not a woman with my kid far away from me. in this society that may never happen.

 

good luck, and try to find some help, maybe like a group with people feeling the same, and see if some of the techinques they tried helped them.

 

A happy , low problem person really does not understand.

[dan10]

ok first off... you cant have your cake and eat it too. if everything is written down in god's book and it is all preplanned then we dont have free will. if we have free will then god cant have it all written down. and there is no way for god to write down what our free will choices will be because if there is a god there is a devil and god cant know exactly who the devil will tempt and when and with what and how the person will respond to it. so we either have free will or god has every detail written down in his big book.

 

personally i think that we have free will and god just has a general plan that he is making up as he goes along. (i dont mean to offend anyone by saying god is a he) unfortunately for me, gods plan is "how can screw with this kid today?" that is what god does. every chance he gets i get kicked in the balls by something else he is doing. this has gone wayyyyyy past bad luck, or god testing me or whatever you think it may be. i mean there is no way that i am perfectly healthy and fine my entire life (minus colds and flus and normal stuff) right up until i decide to tell god that he can suck it and i'm not going to let him make me unhappy... and as soon as that happens i start showing signs of schizophrenia. yes just completely randomly i start seeing things. it started out a couple weeks ago as feelings of presences and then it moved to the feelings and seeing dark blobs off on the side of where i can see, and now i have both of those plus i'm starting to see shapes like defined shapes as in people that arent there. o and on top of that i am getting randomly dizzy for no reason and my sense of balance is getting thrown off, and yesterday i noticed that the world was tilted. and i couldnt fix it. so either god put a brain tumor in my head and i'm gonna die from it soon. or god is just screwing with me and having me have all these problems just for his entertainment.

 

dont tell me about some big plan or god's true grace. god is just a * * * * that is sitting up in heaven with nothing better to do then screw with me.

[dying71]

well that does not make sense. How nice is to see a sunrise alone, when it would better with someone you love, and that loves you. it even sadder if you can not go back to tell someone special how beautiful it was. That sucks, so the happiness has now been robbed.

 

Not going into religion, I too believe. But prayer is not going to give you what you ask, unless God has it in his paln that he created in the beginning, and that ends in the worlds destruction. If in his complete plan it is not written, prayer will not give it to you. New or Old, he did create evil, he created the devil, Adam, Eve, you, me. One sin and all their generations are punished. He simply could have turned them to salt, and started new without the devil, and made Steve and Marcy, but he did not. this is too much of a philosophical debate, and confuses people.

 

I would never say a four letter word or cursed until my twenties, cause I wanted to be right with God, but it got me nowhere. People doing that were in the same place or better then me. so it does not matter, even though I believe.

 

even so we were all created differently. Hormones, looks, height, etc. some people were created to deal with stress better then others. just like some people were created to physically superior to others. Just look at famous people Lebron James, Jack Black, Bradd Pitt, or Brett Farve. all are men, but each born with different hormone levels, families, backgrounds, etc... so all will precieve life different compared to you or I. and how can a doctor say you are not producing the right hormones. they use a test, and they only use it when you have a problem they deem testable.

 

Look at it like this. every male produces testosterone. there is a normal range for a healthy male. but you only get tested when you are sick. Your hormone level could have been higher then normal when you were younger, hence you may have been more muscular and athletic, now 20 years later you are in the normal range. the doctor will say you are fine, even though he never had your initial hormone rates. and now you may be depressed, or whatever.

 

then they want to give you antidepressents, that do not work for everybody, I had over 12 different ones, and only made me worse. there is even growing research that growth hormone helps with depression, but they wont let you use it for that. look at the rare side effects of antidepressants, suicidal and homicidal tendencies. yes some people do get those. I was one of them.

 

as for the free will debate. why did God just not start over without the devil, and create another man and woman, and let things progess without Satan. Cause he wanted life to be this way, crazy f***** up. God even if we truly have free will, and he truly loved us, he knows what is going to push someone over the limit to commit suicide. All he has to do is stop the fuel from entering the persons life.

 

Yeah its nice to make a choice, but not have complete control. Maybe if we could have control of our bodies, like just thinking yourself taller, skinner, fatter, faster, stronger.... but it dont work that way. we did not create ourselves.

 

 

 

 

 

Dan10 I know how you feel. there are things we can do to try to feel better. Will they work, maybe, maybe not. I am at that crossroad too. but no one can guarantee things will get better, to where you feel happy and comfortable.

[dan10]

the reason no one can guarantee that things will get better for me is because they cant. i have a very logical and straightforward reason as to why god wants to make my life miserable but i cant go into it here because people start thinking that i'm crazy for it. but god does have it out for me. thats his plan.

 

and not that i want to bash you because i know that you are trying to help but you cant possibly know how i feel. and there is nothing i can do to try and feel better. my whole life is going to be a constant struggle between whether i should kill myself because god is trying to do that to me, or if i should keep going because thats the only way i'll be able to get myself to the point where i can go and beat the heck out of god.

[dolfin]

all through mankind, there has been struggle. It is through pain and suffering which moral character is built. That is why "some people" call suicide the cowards way out. I myself am suicidal at the moment. I have had wonderful moments of destiny, and have made stupid errors unknowingly and sometimes knowingly which have altered my destiny. I therefore am severely depressed and suicidal.

 

I don't want to get into specifics yet, I do know suicide wont solve the problem, just delay or compound it because i do believe in laws of attraction. If consciousness continues, the karma of not finishing your destined route will inevitably be handed over into your next lifetime and possibly increase negative karma because of those you hurt in the process.

 

Now for those who don't believe in this concept, suicide seems like a golden ticket. I empathize with all. But you also all know there is much worse. The mere fact you have access to a computer and internet proves you are in a civilization that is more developed and "richer with societies freedom" than many others. ie North Korea/Ghana. I know this does not help the depressed mind, the empathetic standpoint of comparing others to yourself, but dan10, and all others here wanting to end it must know that.

 

I have experienced life at its most amazing feat, and know because of error, not monetarily, but rather a spiritually I feel the urge to throw in the towel, which I have already chosen my method. All I am saying is, the light at the end of the tunnel comes through suffering and the only way to want to stick around must be for the battle itself, the learning process, to grow up rather than grow old, and to not harm those who do care for you. Otherwise our pain will be put onto others and by the rules of cause and effect we probably will have to own up to it either in the afterlife or next birth.

 

I wish you all well. I am not a christian, catholic or buddhist, just a person who has lived to experience how joy is manifested, yet am devoid of it right now for reasons nobody but myself and God can understand fully. Hence, I say to you and to myself. To roll the dice, is to gamble against a force we are inferior to.

 

RIP on earth or in another realm, but the only sin is separating ones self from the complete cycle of life. In that I don't mean suicide, but rather separating yourself as a being from everyone else as if you are the only one who suffers. I need to heed my own advice. So I give it as a mirror for me to look into as well. Let us both here and all who are in despair take a close look and evaluate the true idea of suicide.

 

 

Hopefully we can fight this, who knows you may be an old soul who fought harder battles in a past life an overcame it and know are just suffering from the inhumane acts of modern society. Its up to us to be strong willed. For that I hope

 

peace/love

d

[dan10]

dolfin, you make good points. and i understand what you are saying, but if we are reincarnated then i'm the first of my life focee...personage...whatever it is that goes on to the next person. and even if i am not, there is nothing that could have possibly been done in a past life of mine that would constitute god deciding that he is going to devote his time to figuring out how to mess up my life. i did do something in this life that would explain why god would like to but i started that after god decided to hate me. so i think i am here on this earth for the purpose of entertaining god. cause he's got nothing better to do with his time. unfortunately for him when i die i'm gonna walk right up there and kick his sorry little butt for all the crap he has put me through. and just like he did to me i will have no mercy

[dying71]

I never said it would get better. I was just stating I have similar feelings about God punishing me. dont take it the wrong way. i know the feeling you are expressing, but i do not know what you are going through, thats the difference.

 

 

Not bashing but a 18 year old kid can not compare his anguish, to a 40 year olds anguish all thing being the same, because the 40 year old has had to endure over 20 more years of anguish.

 

And has for God if he cannot tell who the devil is going to tempt, then he is not all powerful. its that simple. so is your God is all powerful, or he is not. and if he is not all powerful and all knowing, then the bible means nothing. The devil had free will, to go against god.

 

If you look at life, all life has an origin, through repoduction, or replication. And so God has to be from somewhere. How can he just be. If he can just be, so can others.

 

Read the Koran, the book of Enoch, the books of Adam and Eve. Men are sinners and they wrote these books, God did not appear and give a Bilble to either one of us. People in power make choices for the poor and weak. It has been that way since the beginning. So why then? Control.

 

And people can change their outlook, if certain things keep happening to them. Honestly, how would your outlook change tomorrow, if you went to the store and a beautiful girl started talking to you, and asked you for your number, and out on a date. and then on the way out you bought a lotto ticket, and won a million dollars. then you get a letter from publishers clearing house you won a new car. and as you are going to your car different girls start waving at you.

 

Its natural, if bad things keep happening to you, yeah you will be depressed or sad. and chances if things you see as positvie keep happening to you, you will feel happy or good. as for being paranoid, thats something different. so i cant say much about what i dont know.

 

but if you believe in God and he is the one out to get you, then you will loose. so honestly what is the point. if the devil cant beat God, what can a mortal man do... its only logic. If he is with you, you have a fighting chance.

 

Now get to a point, imagine paying for the treatment you got yourself, paying your own bills, working full time, and then experience financial hardships. You have problems, but there are people older then you with more problems, and have had them longer then you have been alive.

 

and i do take offense about you bashing me, you have not even been through half the crap I have been through. You are not even half my age.

no one knows exactly how you feel except you.

people here can only talk with you, we do not walk in your shoes, as you do not walk in yours. but in most circumstances a 18 yr old will never have the kind of experiences a 40 year old has.

 

try living on your own , and take care of yourself without financial help from people around you.

lose your job, lose your car, lose a wife, lose 2 children, be manic depressive, been hospitalized for suicidial tendencies, have someone steal your identity, have chronic back problems where sometimes you can not stand, skin problems, and be the minority race in your city have your best friend beaten to near death with a bat... then burned alive, have to watch your friend get thrown from the back of a pickup truck...while you watch... they die....and you just traded spot with them, have to try to take care of a seriously ill parent, and still try to live a normal life. once you can even compete with that, then you can bash as many people as you like, especially when they want to try to help.

 

Nothing is guaranteed in life except two things, you are born, and you die.

[dolfin]

amen... dying71 i feel your pain and hopefully one day you will find some peace. I think you made some valid points above all those horrific details. It is perception. If for any of us, to change the way we actually viewed things, took ourselves away from our pain (emotionally at least) physical is much harder, and tried giving others happiness without asking for anything in return, we sooner or later would feel some goodness come back. Its about struggle. Everyone has a tale, we are the authors of our own novel and harbor the events illustrated in our lives into a book of good, bad and hopefully a moral to conclude the story.

 

peace-

[dan10]

you may or may not believe me on this and it really doesnt matter but i can compete with that. i've been to hell. like the hell. where bad people go when they die.

 

and no the god in my world isnt all powerful. just more powerful then me.

[dying71]

well that explains alot. did you die before durning your attempts.

glad you let the be known.

 

just a question, would you be afraid to go back?

do you think God is more powerful then Satan, but not all powerful?

 

i am not a scholar on this, but if you went there and are back, you probably have a chance to change that, or you have something to do here, whatever that may be. I do not know. It may be as simple as accepting Jesus as your savior, or maybe you have to do something for God also.

Only you can answer that.

 

as for me if I went to hell, and came back here i would not want to go back, and you did not even describe it to me.

 

If you went maybe you opened a gateway, and that you are not paranoid, but the evil is after you. that would make a lot of sense.