confused25 Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 So I've been seeing this guy for about 7 months now and everything with him is great except when it comes to money. At the beginning when we first started going out we would take turns treating each other when we go out to dinners or drinks and I didn't really have a problem with that. We both work and I don't expect him to pay for me when we go out or anything. Lately it has been more with us splitting everything equally which I'm ok with. But what it kind of starting to annoy me is we would go out and when it comes time to pay for our checks, he'd be like, oh I'm out of cash can you pay for me first and I'll pay you back later? Ok I'm fine with that. But then it always seem like he would "conveniently" forgets that he needs to pay me back. Same thing when he needs money to buy certain things. I have never done that to him and even if I did, I would have paid him back right away like I promised (as I do with all of my friends). I feel like sometimes he just expects me to pay for him even though he makes a lot more $$ than him. Am I just being a total b*tch for getting annoyed by this?? I never had a problem with this with my previous relationships so I'm not used to it. Oh another thing that kind of gets me is that my bday was about 5 months ago, and for his bday I got him a really expensive gift but with my bday he was supposed to get me this thing I wanted online but once again, he "conveniently" forgets about the gift. He will mention it from time to time that he still owes me a gift but I still have not received anything. I think he's just trying to put it off until I forget about it. I don't even know how to talk to him about this, Is this something worth breaking up over? Link to comment
bmwm3 Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 He def sounds cheap... you gotta talk with him.. if you dont it will just contunie... Link to comment
Dubb Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 You should pawn his stuff.. Get your money back...j/k I think you should mention it. Tell him you need the extra $$ to pay a bill or something. Link to comment
Jetta Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 IMO yes it's something to break up over. He's using you it sounds like for money. Conviently forgets my arsh. Link to comment
laisla Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 how about, if the next time you go out you bring only a $20 or however much money you need for yourself. why doesn't he have money on him? does he spend lavishly, is he in debt, or does he just pretend he doesn't have the money? Link to comment
Gratsy Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 That would make me so mad, you have no idea. Link to comment
girl68 Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 OK way to divert problems. First you try to solve them! When you talk to him about this ask him if he forgets to pay you back. People do forget, so if he forgets tell him you have no problem reminding him to do so. Make a schedual, if he needs to pay you on pay day remind him on pay day or whatever the arragement you make. If things do not improve then yes, it is grounds for break up. Link to comment
confused25 Posted April 20, 2009 Author Share Posted April 20, 2009 How do you even bring up the subject though? It's hard to bring it up without offending the person. Link to comment
girl68 Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 How do you even bring up the subject though? It's hard to bring it up without offending the person. Let's be real here, do you think every problem you ever have to talk about is not going to offend one party or another? No. It's problem for a reason, problems are not easy and they do often cause one party to feel bad or offended or violated in some way! So yeah, you're right you're going to offend him- but are you just going to sit on it and let him use your money with no regard for you and paying you back? No. So get over it. Moving on how to bring it up. Do so seriously so he can't take it as a joke. Hey, John I need to talk to you about something. There's been a few (lots once twice... whatever the case may be) times where we've been out I've paid for you and you said you'd pay me back. But I never seem to see the money again. Tell him that these don't count for the times you're treating him out. This only applies to the times he's ask to borrow money and he's "forgotten to pay you back". Ask him if it's a genuine mistake, if so mention that you do want to be paid back, and do expect him to keep his word. (He may be under the what's yours is mine impression). Link to comment
michiru Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 It says something a lot about a guy's personality when he's cheap especially when you know he has the money. Yeah, bring it up because you can't let this guy take advantage of you.. no matter how you put it, he's going to get offended... and he should be.. he owes you money. He's selfish for not paying you back.. and let's not even talk about the fact that he didn't get you a present yet. Link to comment
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