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How can I appoach this problem to him


Ammanda

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Hello everyone,

I need some help with this situation, Me and my bf been though a rough patch lately, mainly because he's the kind of man that always have a hard time with stress, so I learned to put some water in my wine and help him instead of snapping at him.

 

After our first "break" who lasted one month, he promised me he will be more careful in the future and do everything possible to be with me. I told him that we are not back together yet, that I give him a month to prove to me he's a changed man, We had a long intense talk and things were amazing until....... last night.

He's been working a lot the past days, and I know his boss is always on his case, accusing him of stealing when he don't, and said boss is a pill popper, always blaming my boyfriend for her own problems, not a nice healthy work situation.

 

So, last night, me being out with my sister, him home from work, I give him a call to see how he's doing.

I know he's close of his grandmother (he live with his grandparents, no longer talking to his dad, and he lost his mother a few years ago)

I asked him if he had plans for Easter, family dinner and if he planned to eat a lot of chocolate.

He asked me: Why are you asking me all these questions? At first I'm surprised he asked, because I always do that.. ask him what's up because I care..

I explained to him that I'm curious and ask him what's wrong..

He tells me that he feel I'm a detective leading an investigation and he doesn't like it.. to what I said "Ok fine, i'll stop asking questions.."

I'm a bit pissed which is normal I think..

He explained to me that I'm asking about stupid s**t and that it's not important.. that it's boring talk and that he doesn't wanna talk about easter and chocolate..

I say "Stupid s**t? k*

and he then tell me I need to grow up because I don't wanna see him yet, that feelings doesn't go through on the phone, even if he knows I wanna take things slow after our break and he agreed to it..

 

I get pissed and tell him to stop being mean..

He tells me that he's not mean, that I never let him the chance to prove that he changed and that I do all I can to find bad things in his attitude towards me..

I tell him to calm down, and to let me talk, that we're gonna talk about it all.. he tell me that I'm disrespecting him and that I'm making him sad..

I tell him that I'm here and ready to what he has to say, he get mad and see everything negatively, say bye and hang up..

 

Today, he texted me saying "I just wish you wouldn't always assume I say something in a mean way, it makes me sad

 

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I am giving him a chance, to be a better person and better in relationship, because.. he's very awkward socially and shy but I like what we have, he's close of me, he's in his 20 and I believe that I'm his first "real" girlfriend"

I don't wanna break up with him.

 

How should I approach this problem with him? without snapping at him?

 

Thanks ENA!

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Well, you should. Assuming you are telling the whole story, he sounds like a total child and not worth your time.

 

I don't think he is a total child, as I said in my original post, he had a gf in highschool, and then me.

Just because someone doesn't know how to be in a relations, doesn't mean you need to break up with him.. Maybe show him how to do this the right way?

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He does sound like he has his issues but if you love him then stick in there. None of us are perfect, and we have to be accepted with all our flaws, and hopefully we manage to change some of them.

 

Sorry I dont really have any good advice

 

I agree,

Thank you

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I don't think he is a total child, as I said in my original post, he had a gf in highschool, and then me.

Just because someone doesn't know how to be in a relations, doesn't mean you need to break up with him.. Maybe show him how to do this the right way?

 

Dude he is a CHILD I don't care if he had a gf in high school, his actions speak otherwise.

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