Will he come back again? Need opinions

[arsenic_n_lace]

So this is the condensed story of our relationship. We were together for three years (both 21) and then he suddenly breaks up with me…sort of. Exactly two weeks after our three year anniversary and a week and a half after Valentines Day he tells me that he feels like we’ve been arguing more lately. Which I don’t fully agree with, we haven’t really been arguing it’s just that I’ve been moodier lately and getting upset over silly little things. Anyway he said that on a Tuesday and we talked about it and I said that I would not get upset over stupid things anymore and so I thought things were going to be okay. Well, the next morning I guess he had changed his mind and “didn’t know” again so I went over to his house at lunch and we talked for a bit and he said that yes he did want to be with me. So okay, I’m thinking things are going to be fine so I go over there later that night and everything’s like normal and then out of the blue he says he doesn’t know if he wants to be with me anymore. Um hello?? So we talked for a while about everything and I finally said that I deserved an answer, I told him he couldn’t keep going back and forth and he still didn’t know so I guess we decided that he would think about everything for a while and I left. And he’s not a very emotional person but he was really crying when I left.

 

So exactly a week later I get a text from him saying that he just doesn’t feel like things are going to work out, he doesn’t feel like we’re right for each other and I was completely devastated. He said things just didn’t feel right anymore. So after work I went over to his house to talk about everything, I had to try and change his mind right? Well, that didn’t work out too well because he didn’t change his mind. I said that I could change my attitude and even though he said that he believed me he still wouldn’t give me a chance. And some of the reasons he gave were just so stupid, like for instance, we don’t really have the same sense of humor or like all the same tv shows, we don’t have everything in common which I would disagree with because I feel like we have everything in common except for cars.

 

So over the next two weeks I try talking to him 5 times, but every time I get rejected so finally I gave up. I went and spoke to his mom one day and she told me that he was just really confused and didn’t really know what he wanted but she felt like he would change his mind and come to his senses. She said that he’s been soul searching and trying to figure out what it is that he wants. His mom said that he’s been really depressed but he doesn’t want to talk about what happened. She made it seem like the main reasons this happened was because he felt like he wasn’t good enough for me and was afraid that he wouldn’t be able to give me what I need, he was afraid he wouldn’t be able to provide for me like he thought I deserved. So I don’t know what to think. Is he going to change his mind? It’s been three weeks since we spoke, he hasn’t tried to contact me at all and when I went to his house to get my things I noticed that he had taken down all the things that I gave him and the pictures of us.

 

I really would like him to change his mind because he is a great guy and I’m not just saying that. He treated me like a princess and would do anything to make me happy. The reason I feel like he might change his mind is because I broke up with him once before and after a while he wanted me back. Also, I know that I made him really happy and even on the Valentines Day card and Anniversary card he wrote that he was so happy to be with me and that he wanted to be with me forever. He wanted me to move in with him and we talked about getting married one day. I’m trying to get over him but do you think he’ll come back again?

[loulee]

I think you initiially have placed a lot of pressure on him and it has made him withdraw further, please dont contact him let him have his time to sort himself out. Perhaps in a few weeks you could just send a nice letter saying that you hope his good and is sorting himself out. let him know that you are trying to move forward with your life. Do not let him think you are sitting about grieving for him and hoping that he will change his mind. You can let him know that you miss him and are still very hurt over his decision to end the relationship..but it is now time for you to start getting out and doing things and meeting new people.Let him know with honesty that you have been hoping he would come back but that it doesnt seem to be the case to date, and that you cant sit around miserable forever. IF he has any thoughts about getting you back knowing that you are not waiting for him anymore and planning on moving ahead are more likely to be the motivator for him to want you back if he does..So start putting these words into action. Its not easy when your so hurt but give it a try...and good luck

[Darkness7]

Hey arsenic_n_lace...pm me if you want, I went through almost exactly the same thing. I could give you some advice. Or we could chat on msn if you want.

[jessie5166]

Hello,i need your help,On 10/21/10 my boyfriends of three years broke up with me(2 weeks after our 3 year anni) He said he loves me,im awesome and it sucks that it is happining but he says it just doesnt feel right anymore,he says that he knows i could be the best ever but he doesnt think in will work,i died inside when he said that,he meant the world to me,i loved him with all my heart,he was my best friend and lover,now i feel so incomplete and lost,will it get better? will i be ok? god help me im so scared,im also 22(will be 23 in December) and i feel like my life has ended,i live in colorado and my parents are getting me in a couple days to take me to arizona,i dont want to go but he says i need to be out of out house,i dont want to leave i want everything to be ok,i miss him i want him,i need him,will i ever be ok? will anything be ok? im so scared and hurt.

[Hopelives]

Jessie,

I would post on your own thread, not Arsenic's. You will more than likely get better responses to your own situation.

 

Best to you!