Learning your ex was in a "gang bang" with 3 guys

[Sparkly Eyes]

I don't really see the big deal about it. I'm fairly liberal though, so I don't necessarily make a connection between someone's morals and their sexual experiences as long as they're done safely and responsibly. I personally wouldn't mind hearing that my girlfriend participated in something like that. It's not always "demeaning" to the girl, in fact it's often the exact opposite. The woman's pleasure ends up being the center of the guys' attention and focus, rather than just being used as a tool to get the guys off. Don't even get me started on the double standard that would have a man applauded for having a foursome with three girls.

 

Such a good post. It's not fun to see the responses want the regret on her part! Why regret? Would a guy regret if he had sex with two or three girls? and as you said it does not have to be pornish and the focus can be on girl's pleasure.

[Lamour detruit]

I wouldn't care if a lady I was seeing had done that, with three,four or however many guys. It is her past, and we all have times when we experiment and try things out. The only problem I would have is she lies about it, or hides things;you can tell me everything about what you've done, I don't hold the past against a person.

[Pandaman211]

Damn I am so sorry bro. That is rough as hell. That would break me even more.

 

Like the first poster said, try and take your feelings of betrayal, anger, and disgust and transport them into feelings of relief. I know its kind of sick knowing she was with you after that, but you don't want to be with a...like that...you know what I mean, no offense.....

 

You're only 19. Trust me man, it gets soooooo much better. I'm in my 20's, trust me.

[Brownstone322]

Don't even get me started on the double standard that would have a man applauded for having a foursome with three girls.

You hit that one on the nose. If some guy knocked down three chicks in one sitting (as if), he'd be bragging that he's a "master lover," and he'd probbaly be getting pats on the back. But if a woman does the same thing ... she's a "ho," or at least damaged goods.

 

Glad to see someone else is thinking clearey.

[WorkingInLin]

Sounds like you two weren't compatible. I would just forget her, she has issues and you can't fix her.

[jimthzz]

The problem you have, despite your good fortune to have dodged a bullet, is that you thought she was a different person than she really is. You are in mourning of a sort that what you thought you had with her never really existed.

 

Chalk it up to a learning experience for you. You can now know that liars are hiding a bigger piece of their lives than you know.

 

Get checked for STDs. It will help ease your worry about what you may have been exposed to by her.

 

You have found that you are repulsed by sleazy behavior. So refocus your attentions towards women who share your values.

 

You will find one who is not a disturbed person working out their inner pain by promiscuity.

[Eire1]

I think you lucked out in finding out what you did - in particular her dishonesty - and sparing yourself from a lot more.

 

But since you yourself have acknowledged that she has very real emotional/mental problems then you should give her the benefit of the doubt in not holding grudges or personalizing her previous behavior. You were completely justifiable to end it with her, but I'd try and treat her well afterwards. Don't badmouth her, and don't treat her like a s.l.u.t. or villain.

 

Just move on, and treat her kindly.

[Daria_Lane]

The "ick" factor is not about the prior experience..it is about actually having several men "lining up" to do the deed. Almost like she was sitting on a conveyer belt with her legs spread apart and as she came around to each man they had their opportunity to have a poke. Rather sleazy. I certainly would not want to be with any man who engaged in that kind of sexual behaviour, even in their past....their values just wouldn't mesh with mine.

 

Rofl. Seriously the guy's lucky she's gone. So gross.

[Daria_Lane]

I don't really see the big deal about it. I'm fairly liberal though, so I don't necessarily make a connection between someone's morals and their sexual experiences as long as they're done safely and responsibly. I personally wouldn't mind hearing that my girlfriend participated in something like that. It's not always "demeaning" to the girl, in fact it's often the exact opposite. The woman's pleasure ends up being the center of the guys' attention and focus, rather than just being used as a tool to get the guys off. Don't even get me started on the double standard that would have a man applauded for having a foursome with three girls.

 

Only person I think would applaud a guy who's done such are naive teenagers looking for "bad boys". I personally would find such a guy disgusting and never date him.

 

Dont know why people keep using the same line that people would applaud a guy whoe slept with this many blah blah. Speak for yourselves.