In-Laws

[yellowcal]

Another post got me thinking, I see it often .. people and their in-laws not getting alone (Mainly Mother/Daughter-in-laws) and I just have to wonder .. Why is this so common? You very rarely see a mother in law get along with her daughter in law and vice versa. It's really sad.

 

I am so thankful my future MIL is amazing, she loves me and I love her just as much and I couldn't imagine having a bad relationship with my future husbands mother. My exes mom hated me with a passion and I never quite understood why so I know it would have been bad had we stayed together and gotten married.

 

Is it a jealousy type thing? Does the mom resent the Daughter in law for "taking" their son away or what.. I just don't get it.

 

I know noone on here can give the exact answer but feel free to throw your .02 in.

[jengh]

Hmm..

 

My ex-fiance's mom LOVED me. We still talk, e-mail, get together on the rare occasion.

My ex-CA guy's mom...she was a B to begin with and ex didn't like her either so her not liking me wasn't so much a big deal.

[redrose85]

I think from time to time my future mil resents me, but for the most part she loves me. I think she just gets jealous because I'm #1 in his life now, and she didn't get as many years with him as she wanted (custody battles). That said, I actually get along better with his parents than I do my own parents, so it's nice. I hope it stays that way.

[rocio]

Maybe you just don't hear about the good relationships.

 

I love my in-laws dearly and call them more often than my own family.

[Sami Sue]

My relationship with my MIL is just so-so. I'm not sure she's crazy about me and I'm not so crazy about her, but we get along. My husband is the baby of the family and is very close to his mom. When we started dating, I already owned a house about 40 miles from his parents, I think that is part of it.

 

Having children sure can complicate things. My MIL has 5 grandchildren - 2 are mine. There are 2 young adults who lived with her for several years of their childhood and a 5 year old currently living with her. So, the boundaries with my kids are a little out of whack. It's that she hasn't dealt with grandkids who actually have a dedicated mom, so she is used to just taking over. I'm learning how to cope with that and compromise too. She does not compromise!!

 

It's not too bad. I sometimes wonder about all the hate too. While I don't have the perfect relationship with the in-laws, there seem to be some very negative extremes out there!

[yourmomma]

All the jokes are always written about MIL. I think the jokes should include DIL as well.

[2EvilEyes]

My finance and I are getting married this year. My MIL is actually pretty nice and I can see that we both make effort to like each other. My MIL is from Hong Kong and her English is about as good as my Chinese is - so, we talk "Chin-glish". It works.

 

Recently, my MIL asked me what time I was born so that she could look up the date / time to see if I am a match with her son. It's like Chinese horoscope. No one takes it seriously but it's interesting to see what turns up.

 

I asked my own mother what time I was born so that I could relay the info to my MIL. My mom became totally upset and accused my MIL of trying to break us apart because if our "horoscope" doesn't match up, then it looks bad. I told my mom how silly she was being, but she refuses to see it any other way. Then my mom starts bad mouthing my MIL!

 

I have no idea where this is coming from. Is my mom jealous of my MIL? As I write this, I'm shaking my head at how ridiculous this must sound to readers. But it's a real issue I'm having. I have never given my mom any indication of being close to my MIL so I don't know why the jealous, if in fact, it is jealousy.

 

Chinese parents are weird. There's always so many taboo topics. Hushed family secrets that no one is supposed to talk about.

[tinkerbellkj]

My in laws are great. I often go shopping with my MIL, and SILs or out to lunch. My MIL always offers to take me to doctors appointments since I have been pregnant, and has always even before I was married to her son, tried to include me in everything. I feel very lucky in that aspect.

 

Of course I think people do have to work at their relationship with their IL's just like any other relationship. Sometimes I do not always feel like going over to my in laws, but I remind myself they are my family now, and honestly when I get there I usually forget I didn't feel like going over there!

[sweetpea03]

My future MIL barely speaks english, so we don't exactly talk a lot or hang out, but I know she likes me and we are always respectful. My mother and her MIL get along great. My grandma knows to back off and let my parents deal with what ever problems they have as a couple, so it's good.

[velvette]

Recently, my MIL asked me what time I was born so that she could look up the date / time to see if I am a match with her son. It's like Chinese horoscope. No one takes it seriously but it's interesting to see what turns up.

 

I asked my own mother what time I was born so that I could relay the info to my MIL. My mom became totally upset and accused my MIL of trying to break us apart because if our "horoscope" doesn't match up, then it looks bad. I told my mom how silly she was being, but she refuses to see it any other way. Then my mom starts bad mouthing my MIL!

 

haha that's funny because my mom hates the in-laws too, for COMPLETELY unreasonable 'reasons'! once when I was only slightly sick in his home country, his dad took me to the best doctor he knew. when I told my mom (because she accused them of not 'caring' about me enough since they didn't buy me anything really expensive), she said he just wanted to make sure I was healthy enough to bear his grand-children. *scoff*

 

my in-laws are very chill people who seem to like me (his mom calls me her "angel"/"princess" and takes me out on dates hahahahaha), but MY parents have a million disapprovals of my poor SO. so glad his parents aren't like my over-protective parents! *whew*