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Posted

Any advice out there?

I've always been quite deeply wrapped up i my friend's girlfriend, they were together for 4 years. This used to cause a great deal of secret suffering & grief. We've always been friends & have try to hook up for lunch at least once a week. Recently she has split from my friend & he has been less than nice about it.

Getting to the point, I really want to be with her & I think maybe deep down she would like to as well. Am I being a 'vulture'? Is it too early to ask her out? I don't want to wait too long in case she hooks up with someone while I'm 'waiting for the right time'.

Has anyone else been through this? Was there a happy ending?

Posted

Hi Shoong,

 

Here's a simple way of looking at this.

 

If her relationship with your friend is fine and happy, it will be unkind for you to cut in. Lots of negative feelings will evolve. Though they may have just broken up, it might be a tad early to tell if they did break up because of some nutty reason.

 

But if she's unhappy with him and things are not working out....then go for it! If that is the situation, may the best man win!

 

Hope I have helped.

Posted

If you see her once a week, you should be able to judge what will be the best time. Say things to comfort her but also suggest that your feelings run deep for her like: if you ever need any thing, call me just to talk, I am always here for you...those words will comfort her and tell her there are more fish in the sea.

 

Play it by ear, there are no fast and furious rules here. I would talk to the ex too just to make sure that you are getting the true story from her. Sometimes you can let him know that you are interested in her and if they are still talking, and he is big enough, he can let her know that you are interested in her.

 

Make sure that you always say that you were comforting her through a difficult time. That is the proper approach and a polite way of saying what you want to do...

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