Do dating sites work for shy people who have never dated before?

[brahman]

I don't think it's a good idea for me to put it in my profile. I wouldn't feel comfortable confessing that with my picture (it's okay here, because none of you know what I look like.)

 

The internet isn't very private.

 

 

It's all good. In the end you need to write a profile you feel comfortable writing so you can make it sound as positive as you can without sounding too fake.

[dr_styles]

Shyness and embarrassment usually go together. Well maybe not but going off that anyway, wouldn't a pay site be better in the sense it's more genuine and less risk of embarrassment in that strangers, potentially friends pick up your fully public/visible free profile? And only true (?) looking people will see it giving it the more genuine factor.

 

I know it doesn't necessarily mean any success. Just a thought.

[ay0_x]

I love dating sites. I love meeting people who I wouldn't have met and people who I could just CUT OFF if they were unlikeable or rude or freaky (sorry, it's the truth) or the date simply didn't go well, and move ON! safer than dating a coworker, friend etc. Whether or not the dates go well, they do wonders for your confidence. I love love love dating sites. I was shy and I had pretty bad self esteem until I went on a few dates with people I'd met off them.

 

This is starting to sound like an ad so i'll shut up

Good luck!

[iwishiknew]

I never dated before and online dating has never worked for me.

[shy2cool]

No. I don't even get any responses.

[iwishiknew]

No. I don't even get any responses.

 

Same with me, I never get any responses back.

[ellandroader]

Same with me, I never get any responses back.

 

Nor did I...

[MD Geist]

The market for online dating sucks.

 

Unless you are in a very large city or something like that I have had no luck at all at find a "Single" woman on there because 90% of them are single moms. Maybe its the city I live in that sucks but I have had nothing but single moms basically thrown my way.

 

All of them divorced with kids and they are only my age and they've got like 3 kids and its like * * * have you been doing with your life.?.

[MD Geist]

The market for online dating sucks.

 

Unless you are in a very large city or something like that I have had no luck at all at find a "Single" woman on there because 90% of them are single moms. Maybe its the city I live in that sucks but I have had nothing but single moms basically thrown my way.

 

All of them divorced with kids and they are only my age and they've got like 3 kids and its like * * * have you been doing with your life.?.

[tulipsfav]

Dating sites in my opinion are good for shy people like yourself, you can chat and build up your confidence, there are lots of people in your situation. I would consider myself as shy and not very much confidene or self esteem. Signing up to a dating site was probably the best thing i did. It gave me such a confidence boost. I met my ex online and two other guys that have become friends. Hope this helps.

[tulipsfav]

Dating sites in my opinion are good for shy people like yourself, you can chat and build up your confidence, there are lots of people in your situation. I would consider myself as shy and not very much confidene or self esteem. Signing up to a dating site was probably the best thing i did. It gave me such a confidence boost. I met my ex online and two other guys that have become friends. Hope this helps.

[brahman]

I think for the same reason so many people say it doesn't work, is the same reason why it works so well for others. I believe perseverance is the word I'm looking for. Take the time to try many different approaches and see what works best for you. And really just keep going. In the end, it's when you gve up that you truly loose.

[brahman]

I think for the same reason so many people say it doesn't work, is the same reason why it works so well for others. I believe perseverance is the word I'm looking for. Take the time to try many different approaches and see what works best for you. And really just keep going. In the end, it's when you gve up that you truly loose.

[BigCheezy]

My first date was with a girl I actually met through Myspace. haha But, this was way back when Myspace was brand new. My third date I met through Myspace as well, and we stayed together for 3 years, but then I broke it off because she had changed a lot. I just recently went out with a girl I met on Okcupid. I thought it went well, but she thought I was too shy. A lot of girls like guys that are outgoing, which sucks for us shy guys.

 

I used to be really shy, so dating/social sites were the only ways to meet girls. I could not get up the nerve to talk to women in real life. After talking to them online though, it seemed to ease the tension a little, since I knew them somewhat through messages.

 

I still am shy, but I am trying to get up the nerve to talk to girls in real life. Maybe one of these days I'll be able to do it.

 

I have never liked POF, because the layout is complicated and lacks a lot of options, IMO. Okcupid has a nice layout, but doesn't seem to have a lot of people that really match me. They are both free, so might as well be on both. haha.

 

All of my past dates were girls that messaged me first, but now I am messaging girls first. Some reject me, but some actual talk to me, and it seems like at least one may want to go out on a date. I am excited. I think this is a step in the right direction.

Same with me, I never get any responses back.

That's one thing I like about Okcupid. It shows by their profile if they reply back very often or not. Though, at the same time, I've had girls that "reply often" not reply, and girls that "very selectively reply" write me back. But when that happens, I feel special, because I was one of the select few.

[txblues]

never had anything develop from POF; more from match and myspace. my first meet up with a person was from the internet actually. i was a nervous wreck. think i was 24?? lol. so long ago. and i'm still shy and lonely.

 

but you learn to relax after meeting people from the internet several times. wish the same could be said about meeting people in real life. I have a hard time thinking of things to say on the spot.

 

don't let internet dating become a crutch though.

[brahman]

Actually as far as POF goes, everyone doing online dating should join it. For the soul reason of using their forums. I actually don't know any site out there for dating that has an open forum where people are there to help you write profiles, tell you if your picture is good or not and why you should change what you should change. For free that is. I believe the going rate for a profile to be written for a pro is between $40 and $100.

 

But yeah, never had anything develop from POF either........

[dr_styles]

How exactly do people meet on Facebook/MySpace?

 

Is it really just a case of a friend-of-a-friend happens to see your pic or whatever, thinks your cute and sends a message? (note: made up sentence, lol, I really don't know)

[wanttobehappy]

Hey, I am more interested at guys who seem shy, at least at the beginning. After contacts and being more comfortable with each other, the shyness will fade, communication will be easier.

 

This is because about 80% of contacts I received are from guys who really do not read my profile, and guys who after a couple of "hi"-s then start talking dirty.

I suppose shy guys won't be like that.

 

Perseverance is a must. Online sites will give you the chance to plan your action and words when contacting someone, it's a good practice for shy guys, I suppose. Meeting Ms. Right through dating sites should not be your only goal, because it may or may not happen. You never know.

[Knotty]

I think it's a good idea, but you have to be willing to send out a lot of messages if you're a man and hope for a few responses. You also can't be too picky. It's easy to find a reason to not like someone based on their profile. I tend to take what people write too literally. People try to make themselves sound more interesting than they really are. If they say they like waterskiing I think I wouldn't like them because I'm not into that, but maybe they've only been waterskiing twice in their lifetime and they're just trying to sound interesting.

 

I say go for it. What do you have to lose?

[brahman]

I think it's a good idea, but you have to be willing to send out a lot of messages if you're a man and hope for a few responses. You also can't be too picky. It's easy to find a reason to not like someone based on their profile. I tend to take what people write too literally. People try to make themselves sound more interesting than they really are. If they say they like waterskiing I think I wouldn't like them because I'm not into that, but maybe they've only been waterskiing twice in their lifetime and they're just trying to sound interesting.

 

I say go for it. What do you have to lose?

 

 

Yeah, this is very true. Not only do I have to write like a hundred to get a response, but every personality quiz I have ever taken either puts my perfect match as someone who smokes a lot, or 30 year old women who doesn't smoke. And I never go after girls who smoke or are over 26 for that matter. Live and learn I guess.

[MD Geist]

How exactly do people meet on Facebook/MySpace?

 

Is it really just a case of a friend-of-a-friend happens to see your pic or whatever, thinks your cute and sends a message? (note: made up sentence, lol, I really don't know)

 

Its more difficult to meet people on those sites in my opinion. I have a Myspace page and I've been talking with this girl for over a year now and she still finds exuses not to meet up with me. She's also very shy which I do not understand either.

 

You have to be a straight forward person when you message them and state your business as to why your talking with them otherwise they will read your message and delete it.

[noneStar]

I find it easier than whatever the traditional way is to get a date. Besides that, I rarely see women I want to date anywhere. I live in a community where I'm a minority and there isn't much common ground, and my work environment is mainly dudes.

 

I've used online dating as practice for becoming more socially at ease. Also, It's a lot easier for me to date someone who doesn't know anyone in my existing social circle.

 

I think it will toughen you up too...

 

Being shy is a kind of wimpy-ness...that IMO can only be overcome by facing your fears head on.

[ledzeppelin]

I know this a two to three year old post, but I'm having equal amounts of trouble with exssesive shyness myself. So much, to wear I had to look up, "people who have never dated" on the internet, and found this website with your post.......

 

I was so painfully shy in school, I didn't make many friends. I couldn't tell someone if I liked them, or even tell a friend about someone I liked..... I liked my next door neighbor from 4th or 5th grade, up until after graduation. Alot of people said he liked me, and even his parents told mine once that he did...ha ha... and he'd always ask my parents why I didn't like him........it wasn't that I didn't like him, it was just literally impossible for me to tell him, from being so shy.... I just couldn't tell him........ I had to watch him get a girlfriend, move on, not care.... and everything .........Finally, sick of it, after about 5 months after graduation, I looked him up on facebook, wrote him a message, and just told him. And never got a reply back.

 

To have the one thing I was terrified of doing..... telling someone how I felt, the exact moment I wanted to tell them, and it didn't even matter, or make a difference.....all cause I was so, unbelievably shy, I couldn't admit how I felt, was a horrible feeling.... I see people holding hands, and kissing, and not just that, but just even finding someone to hang with who I can spend time with, feels as if , it will never happen. I feel like such a virgin, my name should be Mary.... Now I'm 20, and out of school for about 2 years now, and I'm still shy. I kept in touch with several people via facebook, and even found one guy who I have a ton in common with, but like you said, were just friends, nothing more..... I don't know about the whole dating online thing...... But I feel fate isn't really working out for myselt either.......

 

Your not alone. Other people are ridiculously shy. Believe it or not.... I hope you find someone one day. Or perhaps you have since your post was from two years ago

[TehShyGuy85]

I was pretty much the same way ledzeppelin. Back in the high school days i was always too shy to tell how i felt about someone and i know for sure i passed some opportunity's because of the way i was. Though i am not like that anymore, i can basically talk to anyone with no problems, even girls though it mostly depends on their personalities as well.

 

To the OP, i hope you have found someone or have gone on some dates since this thread started