THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[kennyc90]

Day 1.

 

I'm back to Square 1 here. I was in NIC for three weeks and broke it last night, mainly due to alcohol and seeing you at the bar. You were starting to reach out to me again and I know that you missed me. You told me that you would talk to me soon and agreed to my lunch request for the near future. Instead, I decided to push you last night and spill my heart out to you. Like an idiot. Of course you rejected me. I pushed you away and put myself back to Day 1. It hurts a lot. It sucks.

 

I know your pain bro. I've been in that state of mind at it really, really sucks.

[kennyc90]

Day 12

 

I have work tomorrow. Darn it. Work sucks on the weekends.

 

Anyways, my day started off ok. I thought about her a lot today. I decided to go out for a run. It was the worse run I have ever experienced. I thought I was gonna throw up. For some reason, I felt fatigued. I managed to make it through. I think my ex saw me running, but I'm not sure. I didn't get paid today. Oh well.. I guess I'll just go grocery shopping on Sunday.

 

Guys and gals, I know I'm gonna get hit hard for posting this but I'll do it anyways. It's my ex's birthday in a few weeks. Just last week, my decision of not sending her a card was pretty much the decision I was going to follow through with. Recently, I've really been thinking about it. My ex is a strong minded person. I'm gonna go ahead and send her a very unique card, specifically for her and only her. I customized it. I won't put my name on it. This is where getting to know your ex very well really comes in handy. Also, since she's really caught up in college and trying her best to get in the nursing program, I bought her a top notch book that helps to get into a nursing program. I know for a fact that she will appreciate it because she really wants to make it in the program! I also bought a new album of one of her favorite bands with a song she really likes. I'm gonna wrap these gifts.

 

Along doing all of that, I'm not showing any hint of trying to get back with her at this time. I'm sending those gifts because I care about her and her success in life. It's her 21st so it's a big birthday. The only reason why I'm following through with this is because I already accept that I most likely will not get anything back in return. Without writing my name on the birthday card, to me, it's in between not sending her a card and sending her a card. These are also gifts that are specifically unique just for her. Even the birthday card is unique for her, as it has her favorite dog in her favorite color, standing on top of a whole bunch of college books, and the dog wearing a birthday cone hat with "21" written on it.

 

The night before her birthday (bday is on the 30th), I'm gonna drop these off in front of her porch so in the morning she will be surprised. My ex loves surprises and I know for a fact that she won't see this coming. The gifts and card will be in a medium sized birthday bag.

[C_Unknown2005]

Stop and think, The best you can do is just ups / fedex it. Don't make the effort to go to her place.

[C_Unknown2005]

Day 2

Have work in the afternoon, family is in town so i have people to be with for later tonight... I was angry as hell last night, no I'm just sad... This is normal it's only been a month since the break up. The grieving process is the worst part about this. I still cared for her but her actions/feelings/respect for me are gone she just quit for someone else. When I looked at her the other day is was like a rewind in history. I met her with her texting other guys and people all the time, I saw the same image yesterday Same straight face. Made me realize that some people never do change, your blinded by what you want to believe. I remember when we first started going out she showed me old chats with her ex and how he said "you have no respect for me"... Now I'm in those shoes and you know what it's a pattern for her... Oh well I needed to get this out of me. Figure I would tell you guys. I've been meeting new people left and right and I am more social then I every have been. It's just the night time and mornings that always suck. It's not about having someone to sleep with it's about waking up in the middle of the night and realizing that, at the end of any day I have that person to be there for me... But the kicker is I don't, So now i need to learn to be single and enjoy it. Now the healing begins like it should have weeks ago and just need to focus on it...

 

Besides all that, I'm going to New York for new years with my cousins. I figure why the heck not right? I have nothing holding me back now... I've join my university cycling team and will be going on a group camp next week so that's going to be something different. Bunch of college boys at a lake house riding in 40 degree (F) weather and enough alcohol to drop and elephant. I'm the oldest one on the team and probably the worst when it comes to racing lol. Aside from that I am thinking that taking girls out on friend dates is not a bad thing, I always have a good time and they do appreciate my company. I went on one this past Wednesday and had a blast! So I'm not going change the way i treat women over this past relationship, I will however treat myself better and think about myself first before anything I do, I have a lot to offer to any woman, they appreciate my company, their surprised that I open the door for them, ask what would they like to drink and even walking them to their car, apartment in any situation. I'm a giver, I know I will get better over time and I will find someone that will appreciate my time, love and effort... Lets get to day 3!

[BlackBirdy]

Day 18

 

Same ol', same ol'. Went out on a date today which was pleasant but I don't feel anything there. Nice guy though. It felt fine going back out there. I didn't really feel like talking about exes though when he brought the subject up so I talked about the ones before this recent one.

 

Also, a phone call from another guy wanting to meet up. This is a guy from the dating website. LOL. Yes I am still doing the internet dating thing because it's all been pretty good and positive as an experience so far... I mean, except for the fact that I met my current ex off that site and he broke my heart! LOL.

 

I'll be away on a trip for 8 days though, and will have no internet access.. so I won't be posting my progress here but I WILL be making progress GOOD LUCK everyone!

[EasyLiving]

Day 12

 

Me: 27/M

Ex: 27/F

 

I wish I saw this thread when when I was on Day 1. I will start posting from today and do another 30 days (Which is fine because I was planning on doing NC for at least 3 months).

 

History:

 

Long story short, we dated for 7 years. It was a happy, loving, caring relationship. We did long distance for the first 4 years while away at school and it was amazing b/c it was just us. We moved back home and I started working 3 years ago and got super busy/stressed with my licensing exam and long commute. Bottom line: I unintentionally put work and my family's tradition of not welcoming a person into the family until we're engaged ahead of her (She's Catholic and I'm Muslim; neither of us are very religious). We also didn't do enough "couple" things like going away and enough date nights and I didn't crash at her place as much as she would have liked.

 

She broke it off on Sept. 4th. I pursued for 2 weeks after that but she was set on her decision. I went NC for 5 weeks until her birthday at the end of Oct. I mailed her a card and we spoke briefly on the phone. I asked her out, she initially said yes but then declined. I pursued again and she texted me back saying that I "need to respect her decision." I then wrote her a letter on Nov. 1st effectively saying that I agree with the break up, it was the best decision for the both of us, and we both need to move on. I also told her that I love her and truly want the best for her/for her to be happy.

 

I started NC again from that point, Nov. 1st. She emailed me this morning apologizing for the harsh text message, but agreeing with the points of my letter. We're still fB friends and she still has all our pictures up from the last 7 years so I removed her from my news feed and blocked her on gchat so uphold the NC.

 

Log:

 

I woke up this morning to an email my ex wrote me. The sight of her name in my inbox caused me to cringe. She was responding to the letter I wrote her 2 weeks before. The substance of the letter was that I agreed with the breakup and wanted the best for her as well as myself. I resisted the urge to respond and do not plan to. Everything she wrote in the letter I already know.

 

The last time I broke NC I felt like a fool afterwards. Not letting that happen again! Thanks in advance for all the support, guys!

[Bobbadoo]

Day 20

Each day getting a bit better. Still miss her tons and hope she is still thinking about me. I know that in the future we will be back together since our relationship was full of love. I have to let her realize this so gotta stick to the plan.

[Rally]

Day 3

 

Hmm what can I say..

This is tough, I cant help but feel incredibly lonely today.

 

Well, NC for good. I am sick of playing games.

[lostgirlaus]

Day 13 of NC

 

Sighh it's only the morning and I already feel like * * * * . I feel like crying, something I haven't done since about day 3 or so. I miss him so much and wish he was here with me... I miss knowing I have someone there for me when I need them, someone to talk to, someone whose shoulder I can cry one, someone to give me hugs when I'm low. There go the waterworks...

 

I might be having a friend over later, so hopefully he can cheer me up a bit..

 

This is going to be a long day

[C_Unknown2005]

End of Day 2

I thought about her on and off today, I'm hurt, not going to lie, Just been with the family the whole day. It's good to have them around. Nothing else much to say. Don't want to dwell.

[BE90]

New to the forum here. I broke up with my ex a couple months ago. We talked to each other and I needed space so I began to ignore her. She was desperate for attention which drove me further away. My feelings finally started to grow for her again and she was initially happy about that but about a week later she started dating this guy she barely knew for a week. I spent over 2 years with this girl. I'm 20 and she's 19. The kid she's dating is 17 and still in high school. I'm pretty sure it's a rebound because he's giving her all the attention I didn't for the past month or so. She called the other day and I missed it so I called her back and her new boyfriend answered. I freaked out and she ended up blocking my number and facebook. She said it would take her forever to move on and was telling me she loved me days before they started dating. I'm doing NC because she told me that's what she wanted and hopefully she'll see that we're right for each other. It's been really tough. I loved her and now she's gone.

 

Day 1

[babygirl23]

I will be starting tomorrow morning. Does this NC mean that I cant even look at his facebook page?

[Rally]

I will be starting tomorrow morning. Does this NC mean that I cant even look at his facebook page?

 

Go for it. Its going to open up wounds you never thought were there.

[lostgirlaus]

I will be starting tomorrow morning. Does this NC mean that I cant even look at his facebook page?

 

When I began NC, I looked at his page for the first 3 days but it gradually got less, on the 4th day I wasn't even tempted to look at it. Today (13th day of NC) was the first day I looked at his page, I also looked at pictures from his brother's wedding that were on his step sister's page (we're still friends) and I didn't feel anything. It was just a test and I passed.

[kennyc90]

Day 13

 

I'm still at work and I'll be getting off this morning.

[Starrgrl]

About 3 months and 3 weeks NC, 4 months post BU.

 

 

Feeling better. Still think about him and miss him, but I'm not that pained anymore. Memories are getting alittle fuzzy sometimes. Seems like it was a dream, albeit a vivid one. About 80% over it. Still love him, but I don't think my feelings for this particular boy will ever completely fade. He's special to me.

[Starrgrl]

Will I be able to talk to him now without feeling emotional? Probably not. I'm not at that indifferent stage yet. Perhaps another 2 or so months.

[C_Unknown2005]

Beginning of day 3

She texted me last night saying

 

Sorry if we left on a bad note the other day

 

Woke up to this, it means nothing I believe it was a drunk text, I'm not going to responds

[EasyLiving]

Day 13

 

Me: 27/m

Ex: 27/f

 

I find it hardest to deal with the breakup first thing in the morning. She's the first thing that comes to mind. Once that initial phase passes I'm functional the rest of the day. Still haven't responded to her email. Still don't think it's a good idea.

 

Note: I won't have access to the internet this next week but I will hand write my posts and post them here in about a week.

[Rally]

Day 4

 

Uhm, this is getting easier and easier.

 

Cept I know I am going to wake up one day feeling like * * * * becuase this NC thing can also be a viscious emotional circle..

 

Moooovvvinnn On.

[BE90]

Day 1 is coming to an end.

 

I didn't contact her all day. She had originally blocked me on facebook and now that I stopped talking to her I got unblocked. During the day I still think about her, but it's nothing I can't handle. Night time is different. I just can't sleep. I'm all alone with nothing else to think about while laying in bed so I think about her. She really hurt me and part of me wants to do this NC to get her to want me back and then tell her I don't want to be with her and date someone new so she can feel what I felt. I think she was so used to me trying to talk to her and get some closure that when I didn't she unblocked me to see if I would contact her through some way other than the phone or texting....

 

Idk I'm probably just being too optimisitc. I stayed busy today with work and when I did think about her I immediately thought about a way she treated me badly... then I got even more mad because she said she learned from treating me badly and is going treat this guy how she should have treated me. While I was at work a woman overheard my conversation with another co-worker and said "Is she everything you ever wanted in a girl?"... After that I realized she wasn't. I put so much effort into this relationship that giving up was something I just wasn't willing to do. Now after those wise words it's coming a little easier.

 

Now on to day 2

[lostgirlaus]

Day 14 of NC

 

I need advice guys! I'm thinking of breaking NC and speaking to him about the trip we had planned. I've tried everything... I can't change the name on the ticket or get a refund/exchange either. He said he'd pay me back, I'm thinking of contacting him and asking if we could be civilized adults on go on it together since we both lose money otherwise. I'm pretty sure he will say no, but you never know until you try, true? Is it too earlier after the break up? I'm thinking of asking to meet in person for this, that way I can give him his stuff back too...

[C_Unknown2005]

End of day 3

Had a fun night with friends and had a wine dinner with them I had a fun time. I just miss her, I have no desire to call her or text but I just straight up miss her. I fell in love with her soul and in return she doesn't care about me the same... Good night everyone

[iBroken]

Day what feels like 763 days ago

 

Still no desire to break NC. Realize my life is better without her.

[SameStory221]

ok I am going to give this a try. I guess day 1 is tomorrow because I had a break-up/closure meeting and conversation with the ex today. I am going to sign up for yoga. Wish me luck