star111 Posted February 17, 2010 Share Posted February 17, 2010 still going...week and a half. focusing me and my life. not him and what he is doing. unfortunately due to the circumstances, and I know he's not with anyone. I guess my initial 'freaking out' all this time was exactly what my therapist had told me- it was feelings of rejection- causing me to react, and think what I felt was real love I wanted to save. The love died, he was too messed up to love anyone anymore. not how he initially loved. we became too damaged. any need for him i felt was due to my own issues. . i can respect someone not wanting to be with me, but went crazy once i felt it was making me 'bad'. i guess it really is worth looking deeper into why we react and do the things we do. what is really bothering us. i've reached so many positive turning points in life outside of the relationship-taking the steps and pushing. i'm learning to focus and be happy with me and where I'm headed. the part I know i still need to get past, is hoping he sees me someday...just to see how much i grew and the success i achieved....to prove to him i am amazing and capable. to throw it in his face. that...is the part i need to deal with now..... i need to be okay getting further in life for me myself and I . I don't need to do it for anyone but me. nobody is watching anymore, but me.....he is gone. Link to comment
jaygirl Posted February 17, 2010 Share Posted February 17, 2010 Day 6! and i'm still here. Hard to believe. still feel bit down, but i think i just woke up today and said to myself.....wow! i cant believe i am still here. Day 6! still here! wow! I have started thinking about the relationship and identfying somethings that went wrong. I realise i was too caring. I made myself a doormat and thought i would be appreciated. When he lost his job, i took him in, would share my salary equally with him, but when i was jobless, he did no such thing. Right now, he even owes me about a thousand dollars. I wrapped my world around him, and instead of reading the signs that he didnt really care, i just kept throwing myself and being a doormat. I should have shown my worth, i should have shown him that i could do without him. he made a statement during the last breakup, even though he claimed it was a joke, he said he never believed i could do without him, and that everytime i left him because he could not commit, he just waited till i would come back, cos he knew i would. I wouldnt blame him though, i came back nine times. He later said it was a joke though. Thats just the first thing i noticed wrong about the relationship. I guess more are gonna come. Link to comment
ex sweatheart Posted February 17, 2010 Share Posted February 17, 2010 Glad your feeling better on day 6 the realizations of why your in NC make it easier to stay that way , hope you keep feeling stronger and keep seeing that you deserve so much better Link to comment
ex sweatheart Posted February 17, 2010 Share Posted February 17, 2010 Day 2 again for the 3rd time in a week... ok so now its time to get on with it and on with my life , open a door for someone who will actually commit to come into my life Link to comment
ex sweatheart Posted February 17, 2010 Share Posted February 17, 2010 Ex calling - i sat here and watched the phone ring, actually had the resistance to not answer it, i know he wanted to talk about work, he had a meeting today that's been a long time coming and Ive always been a bouncing board for this stuff, when we spoke last he said he always loses motivation and sense of self about his business progress until he speaks to me and i validate it all .... this however meant that when we did see each other, and this was rare as we both work 6 - 7 days a wk all we ever did was talk through his work stuff so he could unwind enough to chill and watch a dvd or enjoy each others company.... he knows i work hard and have been doing 14 hr days so why would he call me at nearly 11pm to chat ? the one thing this does help with is proving to me that my needs are not priority , on the other hand it does make me feel good that he calls me when he needs to vent why oh why must us humans over analyze things to death in an attempt to make ourselves insane Link to comment
1guygirl Posted February 17, 2010 Share Posted February 17, 2010 *applauds* your ex was only after being molly cuddled by a sympathetic ear...sorry but you did right to let this one ring, and ring and ring i hope you felt empowerment with every ring that you were saying no more, and youre putting your needs first now Link to comment
ex sweatheart Posted February 17, 2010 Share Posted February 17, 2010 *applauds* your ex was only after being molly cuddled by a sympathetic ear...sorry but you did right to let this one ring, and ring and ring i hope you felt empowerment with every ring that you were saying no more, and youre putting your needs first now Thank you 1guygirl im still working towards putting my needs first, but you are right he needed an ear when he knows i need a pillow empowerment here i come !!!! Link to comment
vertigoxo Posted February 17, 2010 Share Posted February 17, 2010 Day 168 12 more dayssss... Link to comment
Chris Knows Posted February 17, 2010 Share Posted February 17, 2010 Day 168 12 more dayssss... 168 Days of No Contact? Link to comment
vertigoxo Posted February 17, 2010 Share Posted February 17, 2010 168 Days of No Contact? Yep, and 12 days till I have completed 6 months worth of NC. Link to comment
kvb10 Posted February 17, 2010 Share Posted February 17, 2010 day 17 or 18 doing better.. no more wallowing... back to the positive and turning the break up into a new experience for myself. Link to comment
klafeoj Posted February 17, 2010 Share Posted February 17, 2010 So i get a text message from the exsaying [i applied for a job to help me pay for these crazy bills i put you down as a reference if you don't mind]. * * * !!! This is a moral delema. I am not vindictive and don't want to actively destroy her (maybe just a little) but ...ugh. Link to comment
bitebenot Posted February 17, 2010 Share Posted February 17, 2010 So i get a text message from the exsaying [i applied for a job to help me pay for these crazy bills i put you down as a reference if you don't mind]. * * * !!! This is a moral delema. I am not vindictive and don't want to actively destroy her (maybe just a little) but ...ugh. She expects a reaction from you,keep ignoring her ! What she says is meaningless. Link to comment
bitebenot Posted February 17, 2010 Share Posted February 17, 2010 Excellent ! You did the right thing by not answering ! Link to comment
star111 Posted February 18, 2010 Share Posted February 18, 2010 one day at a time...one day at a time............ grr. not contacting... i'm realizing I itch to contact him more when certain events happen or things change in my life. he was the only one who ever genuinely cared. not contacting........ day by day. Link to comment
jaygirl Posted February 18, 2010 Share Posted February 18, 2010 Yayyyyy! so this is day 7. first time since i started dating my ex, i went seven whole days without contactng him. He still hasnt called, but i am less worried now. I am focusing on my Masters (i am a Dr) and trying to lose some weight around my middle (lol). Right now i am thinking why i even stayed with him, and why i tried to show him so much love when he didnt appreciate it. I remember once when i wanted to break up with him, and i was telling him abou t a new guy i met who really liked me, and he started advising me and giving me tips on how to date the guy and make the relationship with the guys last! I dont know how i sat there and listened to such crap. Who loves a girl yet gives her advice on how to date another man? I am doubting if he really loved me, or if the whole relationship was just convenient for him. He claims he is confused about marriage, but i once saw a mail from him to a friend saying he would have married his ex (who left him for the same reason: refusal to commit after five years dating) and wishes he had stayed back with her. I cant even believe i forgave him and got back to him after seeing that message. Right now, i am not sure i want to go back. But lets see how it goes. Link to comment
celestial262 Posted February 18, 2010 Share Posted February 18, 2010 Day 168 12 more dayssss... 26 Feb is your birthday ? Link to comment
vertigoxo Posted February 18, 2010 Share Posted February 18, 2010 26 Feb is your birthday ? Yes! I'm excited! Link to comment
mwh67 Posted February 18, 2010 Share Posted February 18, 2010 round 2 day 10...feeling great! im not sure what happened but i went to atlanta this past weekend and didnt do anything special but by the time i came back home i was feeling fine. shes still on my mind but im not sad about it. very odd how it just clicked and now i feel 100 times better. hopefully it stays this way Link to comment
jaygirl Posted February 18, 2010 Share Posted February 18, 2010 One week NC. I feel good about my self, but i feel so bad that he hasnt even bothered calling. someone who claimed he loved me so much. Its just sad. No effort to contact me. not even a text. Link to comment
bitebenot Posted February 18, 2010 Share Posted February 18, 2010 One week NC. I feel good about my self, but i feel so bad that he hasnt even bothered calling. someone who claimed he loved me so much. Its just sad. No effort to contact me. not even a text. Relax..patience is a virtue ! Think of what the future may bring !!! Link to comment
1guygirl Posted February 18, 2010 Share Posted February 18, 2010 jeeez am back again...day 1 nc he made his choice no matter how much he loves me and all the rest of it...his words didnt say can we try again? not accepting his scraps of maybe on the off chance texts asking about me...no... that isnt what i want. ive done all i can, laid it on the line, it ended 'well' and i did it with class and maturity. one day when it all blows over, he will look back and know he let one helluva girl go. Link to comment
bitebenot Posted February 18, 2010 Share Posted February 18, 2010 jeeez am back again...day 1 nc he made his choice no matter how much he loves me and all the rest of it...his words didnt say can we try again? not accepting his scraps of maybe on the off chance texts asking about me...no... that isnt what i want. ive done all i can, laid it on the line, it ended 'well' and i did it with class and maturity. one day when it all blows over, he will look back and know he let one helluva girl go. Dont be surprised if he shows up again.At that point you will be able to discard him and tell him to crawl back under his rock.Its true when they say the timing is always off when the ex wants to come back.If he does,take your time and enjoy every minute of it ! Link to comment
vertigoxo Posted February 19, 2010 Share Posted February 19, 2010 Its true when they say the timing is always off when the ex wants to come back. Imagine them coming back when we're all grown a bit more older, happily married and with children? You think it doesn't happen in real life? It does. Link to comment
dazed_83 Posted February 19, 2010 Share Posted February 19, 2010 I cant remember now, i think it must be 7, no contact from either side. Not much else to report, I haven't had the urge to call, txt or e-mail, I have nothing to really say to her right now, I guess she doesn't have anything to say to me either. No idea how she is getting on with her new love interest, it must be going good though, I dont even know his name, ignorance is bliss right now. Link to comment
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