THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[vertigoxo]

You are my hero! I can only hope to make it that far! It has gotten easier, hasn't it? Even just a little bit?

 

It does get easier, yes! Back then I was sooooo depressed, I was reaching the point of planning to kill myself. Now it's just like.... waves... I feel good... and then I feel sad.... Then okay again... then sad again... etc.

 

But as each days go by, the "waves" get longer and farther in between... I hope one day the waves stop and it'll just be one continious "happy" feeling.

[bitebenot]

Same for me after four months and a half,thank God ! I feel much better.I got control over my emotions and im ready for spring to come ! The roller coaster rides are a lot shorter.Still mad and pissed at her for the way she treated me but i know her turn will come.But now its about me me and me.The gym gave me a lot back,good shape and self esteem,feels great.I miss her after all but i can deal with it.Im me again,me before i met her.I can see clearly now the rain is gone..lol...At the beginning i was hoping she would call me,now i hope she doesnt... WEIRD !!!!

[FoundYet]

Day 23.

 

Lately, I have noticed my sub-conscious has started to try and help me get over him. This past week, my dreams of him have had a very different feel and outcome. Whatever I am dreaming he's there somewhere (of course) and everything's going great but then he asks me something I know I will say yes to, but out of the blue, but my mind says 'no' and it shocks me back into consciousness because I never would've said that.

I wake up feeling horrible at 'no i didnt just say that' but also in the back of my mind in a very small place feeling confident and happy then feeling ashamed of that. Then I try falling back asleep, working, in my mind, to fix that part of the dream, but it doesn't work because I now the outcome that already happened.

 

It's weird and sad and in it's own way, I'm glad it's happening.

 

but still miss him

[1guygirl]

Same for me after four months and a half,thank God ! I feel much better.I got control over my emotions and im ready for spring to come ! The roller coaster rides are a lot shorter.Still mad and pissed at her for the way she treated me but i know her turn will come.But now its about me me and me.The gym gave me a lot back,good shape and self esteem,feels great.I miss her after all but i can deal with it.Im me again,me before i met her.I can see clearly now the rain is gone..lol...At the beginning i was hoping she would call me,now i hope she doesnt... WEIRD !!!!

 

no not weird at all...contact from them when its wishy washy BS jus sets you back and thats what they want. i really hope my ex doesnt contact me again...its easier to heal and get them outta ya system FASTER

 

im left confused and all arrrrrrrghhhhh by it all...b****** ](*,):splat:

[kvb10]

Day 11 of NC Day 18 of NIC (no initiated contact)

 

having kind of a hard day... feeling sad and missing her. feeling tempted to call her, but i wont. ive gone through some good days where i felt like everything would be okay, and ive gone through some sad days... but i am feeling pretty crappy today. i feel like somehow i have backtracked and am back to thinking i want her back and wondering how this could be happening. just missing her.

[bitebenot]

Day 11 of NC Day 18 of NIC (no initiated contact)

 

having kind of a hard day... feeling sad and missing her. feeling tempted to call her, but i wont. ive gone through some good days where i felt like everything would be okay, and ive gone through some sad days... but i am feeling pretty crappy today. i feel like somehow i have backtracked and am back to thinking i want her back and wondering how this could be happening. just missing her.

 

Your doing fine,just hang in there and give yourself time to heal.You will feel better,time heals all wounds ! Its hard when you miss someone that rejects you but its life and we have to learn to accept the outcome.

[BackToYou]

Attention people getting over break ups - do not see the movie "up in the air"

 

god what a mistake.. i was having a good day then i saw that and had to cry during the movie - not about the movie - but about the reminder of my failed relationship. plus the movie isn't even that good...

 

OT:

 

 

I`m taking my ex out in two hours and we`re going to see that movie LOL. I should have checked the trailer before buying the tickets

[kvb10]

OT:

 

 

I`m taking my ex out in two hours and we`re going to see that movie LOL. I should have checked the trailer before buying the tickets

 

well since you are going with your ex, it might send you running back into each other's arms!! It makes being alone seem so sad.

 

have fun!

[kvb10]

today i ate away my pain and exercised my pain away..hah... a bunch of donuts for lunch (office party) and then ran 6 miles in the evening.

 

Not thinking so much about things at the moment... just kind of being... if that makes sense.

[1guygirl]

today i ate away my pain and exercised my pain away..hah... a bunch of donuts for lunch (office party) and then ran 6 miles in the evening.

 

Not thinking so much about things at the moment... just kind of being... if that makes sense.

 

yeah perfect sense mate.... i am jus in limbo with ALL the changes i wanted to make - there are no houses out there at mo, infact the landlord is getting this present house revalued and i need somewhere cheaper. then i can do my hobby that will release alot of 'creative frustration and help my self esteem' and will also help my case for my fight for my daughter...which i am pleased to say i sent forms off for the second time...it jus feels like im existing right now, jus waiting for bed time to go to bed, even then hardly sleep, then its up and jus BS until i go to bed. I havent the motivation jus yet to clear house out etc

 

still i give up the drinking and carried on with the exercise where im so close to my target measurements.

 

yeah these are hard days right now and im at a loss to be fair *more banging head gainst a brick wall....* ](*,)

[ex sweatheart]

I was trying to keep myself busy from call my ex of 4 days ago and came accross this thread... brilliant idea.. i am however struggling in the first 5 minutes, i broke it off with my ex as he couldn't commit, great guy who was lovely and respectful but completely unable to forsee sharing lives in the near or distant furture

He then called me 2 days ago to say hi and check i was ok, i answered ... my 1st mistake... now am getting bombarded with advice from friends that he actually called to try to sort things out but freaked out when my response was cool and detached .....As much as that would be ideal, people cant change themselves at a base level or what they ultimately want within 2 days... or can they ?

In short im procrastinating punishing myself with something and someone that will inevitably hurt me !

How on earth does everyone stay strong and not make that call, email, text, msn message, skype etc etc

[vertigoxo]

Day 163

 

I hate my ex. Hate hate hate hate him. I'll never friggin' talk to him ever again!

[ex sweatheart]

Day 163

 

I hate my ex. Hate hate hate hate him. I'll never friggin' talk to him ever again!

 

i wish i could feel that way, anger is a much easier emotion than sadness

[vertigoxo]

i wish i could feel that way, anger is a much easier emotion than sadness

 

I thought the anger stage has passed... Now it's resuming... I think it's just a relapse, really... I've never dealt with the anger thing for months now and this came out just the other night.

 

But otherwise, I'm still trucking along. I wish you luck!

[ex sweatheart]

I thought the anger stage has passed... Now it's resuming... I think it's just a relapse, really... I've never dealt with the anger thing for months now and this came out just the other night.

 

But otherwise, I'm still trucking along. I wish you luck!

 

Hope you feel better soon and thanks will keep going at in one hour at a time at this stage

[bitebenot]

Day 163

 

I hate my ex. Hate hate hate hate him. I'll never friggin' talk to him ever again!

 

We are on the same line here,i was thinking the same for my ex ! I do know that soon it wont matter anymore..hate takes too much energy,shes not worth it.

[mwh67]

day 4 of NC. kills me to think i had 31 days under my belt and then i contacted her. not smart. anyway its pretty much back to square one. missing her all the time and thinking about her. hopefully this time i wont crack. regardless of what happens im still not looking forward to seeing her at our mutual friends college graduation in may. thats probably not going to help at all.

[1guygirl]

day 4 of NC. kills me to think i had 31 days under my belt and then i contacted her. not smart. anyway its pretty much back to square one. missing her all the time and thinking about her. hopefully this time i wont crack. regardless of what happens im still not looking forward to seeing her at our mutual friends college graduation in may. thats probably not going to help at all.

 

dont sweat over that 1...you will have come on leaps and bounds by then...it wont even be a biggy but an oppurtunity to show her what she passed up

[bitebenot]

dont sweat over that 1...you will have come on leaps and bounds by then...it wont even be a biggy but an oppurtunity to show her what she passed up

 

Very true, but only if he ignores her from now on.

[ex sweatheart]

Day 2 NC, struggling and just want to pick up the phone to call or text ex, i think i am in need of a girls night out , maybe some laughs a few drinks and dancing will help.

When does this get easier ? day 10, day 37 ?

[bitebenot]

Day 2 NC, struggling and just want to pick up the phone to call or text ex, i think i am in need of a girls night out , maybe some laughs a few drinks and dancing will help.

When does this get easier ? day 10, day 37 ?

 

Honestly,to me anyhow it was 60..but thats me ! Once i read an article that says its about 2 months to every year the relationship lasted.For me it would mean 10 months but i think 7 or 8 will be fine to be completely healed.Total NC.

[bitebenot]

EX SWEET,dont communicate with him because you will give him all the power you got left.Call a friend instead or go out and have fun.Never be alone to long while your still vunerable.Give him time to reflect about the situation.Let him miss you by staying away,you can do it !

[ex sweatheart]

EX SWEET,dont communicate with him because you will give him all the power you got left.Call a friend instead or go out and have fun.Never be alone to long while your still vunerable.Give him time to reflect about the situation.Let him miss you by staying away,you can do it !

 

Thanks bitebenot.... your completely right, going to finish work and head home to get my dancing shoes on, fun is exactly what i need...

[jaygirl]

Ex sweetheart we have such a similar story. Dated ex for two years, was practically a doormat, and now he tells me he can't commit that he still wants to bachelor around for the next four to five years before commiting. So I am on day 2 of NC too. And I am so determined not to break it. He says he wants us to be best friends but of course I said no. PM me if u need to talk. We cld be breakup buddies!

[Brenda222]

Day 2 (2/11) and Day 3 (2/12) - Thursday, day 2 I was so torn up. I new my ex would be with our son. He picked our son up from school. Never bothered to call me, just no contact he made to let me know he had picked up our son. Day 3 (2/12) - Our son didnt go to school. He never bothered to call me and let me know. Our son called and told me after school was over with. I went to school to pick him up and thats when I found out he didnt go. I received prayer with a lady on the phone. I was feeling suicidal about my ex and all the other problems in my life. I spoke with this lady and she prayed and prayed for me. I started reading my bible again. I know this will help.

 

Day 4 (2/13) - I got up and realized that I will make it thru all this one day. I now think about the person I will meet in the future, what he will be like, how I will love him, how he will love me and me only and my son. My friends think I can just get put out of my home, have someone I love for 7 years ask me to leave and then move his ex into our home. They say things like, oh just forget about it and think Im wrong. They think after 7 years and your newly broken up you should just not have any emotions or anything about the break up, yet some of them are still dealing with this after they have been broken up from a guy for 5 years. When I try to talk to someone they say, oh lets dont talk about him, then they talk about the person they are with and the problems they are having with that person. Its ok for them to speak about theirs but mine, oh we cant mention it. So I talked to a lady on the phone. We prayed and prayed. I am reading my Bible again. I feel a bit better today. I actually am starting to fantasize about meeting a tall guy in the future. I have fantasices of how my friends are gonna beg to meet his friends. I have fantasices how my ex and my friends are gonna see me with him and wonder how I ever got a man like the one I am with. I dont want it to happen to pay him back, just for him to know that I am not the put down things he told everyone about me. I am reading my Bible and praying and it helps so much. It helps for me to vent on this site and get it all out.