klafeoj Posted January 13, 2010 Share Posted January 13, 2010 Day 7... WOOOHOOO one week. Went to a swing dance lesson yesteday and had areally good time and didn't think of my ex once. Met some nice ladyfolk and really gave me a positive outlook. But i guess she could sense the good times... she texted me while i was there asking "when (if ever) can we be friends again". Now one of the reasons i went NC is becuase i don't want to spend a day trying to figure out if this means anything. Again its an all or nothing things. she knows it... hell her mother knows it. But nights like last night make life so much more livable. Link to comment
klafeoj Posted January 13, 2010 Share Posted January 13, 2010 also if someone is in a new relationship, rebound or not, why they want to be friends with their ex. Link to comment
anon12 Posted January 13, 2010 Share Posted January 13, 2010 also if someone is in a new relationship, rebound or not, why they want to be friends with their ex. Ego, wanting to make amends, feeling bad for what they've done to someone. Having them in the picture still, knowing how they feel, its like having a safety net. And when there upset, if the ex is still a friend, they can pin the problems on them, instead of the rebound having to help with the negatives of a relationship. Link to comment
bitebenot Posted January 13, 2010 Share Posted January 13, 2010 also if someone is in a new relationship, rebound or not, why they want to be friends with their ex. Its for her own need...whatever reasons she has, IGNORE her ! Shes not trying too do you any favors...selfish women ! NC full blast,no pity of anykind ! Let her rot a litle.She has no more advantages over you even as a dumper.Shes the one feeling rejected,aint that great or what ? Its awsome,here is your revenge. Link to comment
bitebenot Posted January 13, 2010 Share Posted January 13, 2010 Day 7... WOOOHOOO one week. Went to a swing dance lesson yesteday and had areally good time and didn't think of my ex once. Met some nice ladyfolk and really gave me a positive outlook. But i guess she could sense the good times... she texted me while i was there asking "when (if ever) can we be friends again". Now one of the reasons i went NC is becuase i don't want to spend a day trying to figure out if this means anything. Again its an all or nothing things. she knows it... hell her mother knows it. But nights like last night make life so much more livable. Finding a new g/f would be the best medication i could pescribe to you,go for it ! Enjoy every moment,your ex will get jealous and pissed ! She wants you back after she finds out,make her crawl for a while. The power is on your side now.Smart guy u r. Link to comment
dazed_83 Posted January 13, 2010 Share Posted January 13, 2010 2 weeks NC for me, left myself with no other option sadly, she's going to start "seeing" someone else, 3 months after our 6 year relationship ended, so she's obviously been dating some guy for a wee while now. sucks for me! Link to comment
syxx87 Posted January 13, 2010 Share Posted January 13, 2010 Day 9 Luckily no dreams about her last night but I did have a dream about a girl I work with (lol doubt anything would ever go down between us though). I've thought about her quite a few times today but everytime I do, I just tell myself that its' over and to forget about her since she has forgotten about me it seems. I'm really just anxious to get through January so I can see how I feel around that time. I dont know how I feel about her as of right now. Link to comment
bitebenot Posted January 14, 2010 Share Posted January 14, 2010 2 weeks NC for me, left myself with no other option sadly, she's going to start "seeing" someone else, 3 months after our 6 year relationship ended, so she's obviously been dating some guy for a wee while now. sucks for me! ] Your story is the same as mine but my relationship lasted 5 years. I was replaced 3 days before she dumped me. For you or me,NC its the only option.As to your ex,you never know,she might find out what shes missing after a while.But i agree with you,just cant stand still and wait for her to come back.When a women goes for another man,hopes fade very fast ! My ex also wanted commitment ! NO talking about it or whatsoever.When they make up their mind,you cant do anything to change it ! Now your ex seems ready to move on,not so good for you. If theres no sign of life in the next 3 months,she will be a goner ! Better to lose all hopes and move on for your own sake.Good luck. Link to comment
klafeoj Posted January 14, 2010 Share Posted January 14, 2010 Well any hopes for me have just been shattared... my ex called twice... left a voice mail saying "quit ignoring me, you suck." then left a text saying that "i don't want to be your friend anymore!!!". I know it's for the best. But i can't help but break down. I want her back not her gone forever. Link to comment
anon12 Posted January 14, 2010 Share Posted January 14, 2010 Well any hopes for me have just been shattared... my ex called twice... left a voice mail saying "quit ignoring me, you suck." then left a text saying that "i don't want to be your friend anymore!!!". I know it's for the best. But i can't help but break down. I want her back not her gone forever. because its getting to her. she hates that she has no control over the situation. stick at it, your doing well! soon she'll probably start with saying stupid things to force you into responding.. my experience anyway. Link to comment
bitebenot Posted January 14, 2010 Share Posted January 14, 2010 Well any hopes for me have just been shattared... my ex called twice... left a voice mail saying "quit ignoring me, you suck." then left a text saying that "i don't want to be your friend anymore!!!". I know it's for the best. But i can't help but break down. I want her back not her gone forever. I agree with ANON12,shes giving a lot of pressure because you wont respond ! I doubt she wont call again.She trying hard i must say ! lol...she feels like shes been dumped ! She knows what you want,why should you talk to her ? If you want her back,let her decide,not you.Its up to her to run after you ! She is upset,and thats good.She needs to hear from you,wants to know what your doing,thats good.See ? She didnt forget you at all. If you answer her,you will be a dead duck ! Thats your last chance,dont forget that part.At least you still have a chance,most of us dont ! Dont forget this,if she wants you back,nothing will stop her ! Thats what you need to see.And as for you hope,your not suppose to have any ! Link to comment
klafeoj Posted January 14, 2010 Share Posted January 14, 2010 Ahh the wise men/women of ENA. You give me strength when im at work at 9pm in an emotional clusterf*Ck. My eternal thanks is yours. Link to comment
bitebenot Posted January 14, 2010 Share Posted January 14, 2010 *Ways to lose your ex forever: Answer their phone calls or messengers..fb,myspace,msn and so on Texting back chase them all over Speak to their friends Write to them Beg or cry Ultimatums Make them jealous(for some) Talk to their family Stalk them or showing up at their job ** ways to get them back NC LC (different for each of us) unlikely for most Link to comment
bitebenot Posted January 14, 2010 Share Posted January 14, 2010 The worse thing anyone one can do in our situation is to " hang on " ! All hopes on getting the ex back is very bad for healing.I havent seen to many exs coming back after a break-up ! I dont want to burst anyones bubble, but thats reality ! Same for me,no exceptions ! Doesnt mean it wont happen,but the chances of that happening are very slim ! Thats why we need to move on at all cost.The ex is happy,so take the time to heal and get there. Pride should be taking over.Time to find another lover as soon as possible. I saw people who were still attached to the ex hoping they would change their mind.Imagine being in that situation for a year or two ! What a living hell ! For me,another month and i will be free again ! All the time wasted on the ex cant be recuperated ! Many men or women are waiting for the right one for a serious relationship.Go and find them. Link to comment
klafeoj Posted January 14, 2010 Share Posted January 14, 2010 anon12. Can you elaborate about "saying stupid things"? Link to comment
anon12 Posted January 14, 2010 Share Posted January 14, 2010 anon12. Can you elaborate about "saying stupid things"? It started with, "whats going on with the flat" we shared one together, id told her exactly what i was doing with it, changed to "dont go dancing with any other girls, ill get jelous" then she started telling my freinds how she missed me, and that her new bf was treating her badly. that was the first time i broke NC, she started crying, saying how she was second best, i comforted her, she said she wasnt sure why she was with him still, but didnt do anything about it so i went straight back to NC, she acted like nothing happened. Then she started the same cycle again, the flat, my friends, my family. Eventually, after 3 weeks she said she overdosed on birth control pills, i broke NC again, went and met her mum to see if it was true, turned out it wasnt. Went straight back to NC. After that it came to xmas eve when we met up. Just be carefull what you respond to, but from my experience, it was all just a plot to get me to talk to her, i guess she has a big ego! She blocked me from facebook yesterday, and added me straight back. I declined. Link to comment
klafeoj Posted January 14, 2010 Share Posted January 14, 2010 Well it will be interesting to see how this develops. Day 8 little drama on day seven and you know it ain't over yet. Excited to see what happens after the full 30 days Link to comment
anon12 Posted January 14, 2010 Share Posted January 14, 2010 Well it will be interesting to see how this develops. Day 8 little drama on day seven and you know it ain't over yet. Excited to see what happens after the full 30 days Good luck mate, remember, only you actually know what this girls like, so make your own judgement on weather or not to break it Link to comment
klafeoj Posted January 14, 2010 Share Posted January 14, 2010 It seems from what I hear you have to let it reach crittical nc mass. If you break to early it dosnt happen you need to wait till she wants it back. Till she pleads for it back. Only then can I break. Link to comment
klafeoj Posted January 14, 2010 Share Posted January 14, 2010 And as for knowing her... yea the events that have transpired have just served to polarize the results. Either she will write me off for all eternity (she's spiteful like that) or she'll want to get back.. The grey area in the middle has been removed. Which is a good thing Link to comment
klafeoj Posted January 14, 2010 Share Posted January 14, 2010 Idk i have gone LC with her family as well... her sister aske me how i was doing and i just responded witha short "fine". Also asked if i wanted some things back. I don't really want to have contact via proxy so i am trying to limit contact with the family as well. Link to comment
bitebenot Posted January 14, 2010 Share Posted January 14, 2010 When a g/f or b/f acts that way,i wonder if its wise to want them back. When they lie or say things to derail you in any way,i dont see any love here. From my own knowledge, when you get them back,you will have to work very hard to keep them.You would become a miracle worker.If someone leaves a relationship,the love they had is gone ! They may panic when you go NC and come back..but for how long ? In some cases it does work, but many break-up for good after getting back together.When your in love,you try everything to make it work ! You might take a break to think about it,but no dating others in between.When they say they dont love you anymore..its time to split for good and forget them.While trying for so long and being carried in the mud is a total waste of time.Its normal trying to save what is so important in life, but sometimes you have no choice but to let go.No one can force another person to love us back. Can anyone bypass the strugle in their mind when they do come back and you end up having sex with them again knowing he/she did it with another one ? And the fact they really enjoyed it ? Thats why i dont want my ex back,i dont want a USED g/f by my side. To me shes now dirty and i wouldnt be able to touch her with a ten foot pole. The relationship would never be the same anymore and she knows that too. Link to comment
1guygirl Posted January 14, 2010 Share Posted January 14, 2010 well.... i made it to day 16 i asked a friend to message another friend for the forum to say hi for me and to get intouch since i left the message came back that my ex had been looking for me too, cos he missed me anyway, jus seeing his name and that he had been trying to find me, i cracked next day and broke nc...it felt right what i got back was how much he had missed me, he had nearly text me over the last two days but was respecting my nc. said alsorts of stuff, and i had gone to sleep so hadnt text back which is when he said he needed to know where we are at, if anywhere... he wants me back, he said he loved me and whilst it would be an LDR he said he couldnt live without me...its been hell for him these past few weeks etc etc he is coming to see me next weekend to talk things through turns out he didnt think he said 'impossible' but 'difficult' ...we could be going round in circles bout that one lol ](*,) he was on phone for an hour today to me NC has helped me get a grip...i can now listen to him calmly and not get dragged into crap. i shall see what happens, and take it step by step as to whether we go anywhere from here ?? f*** it was good to hear his voice and laugh tho Link to comment
1guygirl Posted January 14, 2010 Share Posted January 14, 2010 because its getting to her. she hates that she has no control over the situation. stick at it, your doing well! soon she'll probably start with saying stupid things to force you into responding.. my experience anyway. agreed!!!! ....shes not likin this so is trying to regain control of this situation by mouthing off hurtful things...bit silly really but take it as a compliment that you are doing really well Link to comment
Snowgrrl83 Posted January 14, 2010 Share Posted January 14, 2010 I'm at day one of the challenge and I'm confused, going crazy, and especially sad. But I will stay strong. I told a friend that I would go see her, then I changed my mind.... and then I told her that I might show up at her house later. Link to comment
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