waveseer Posted March 27, 2009 Share Posted March 27, 2009 I fell down the stairs, I bumped my head No problem, I'm okay. They noticed I was leaving, I had a suitcase in my hand No problem, I'm okay. I could hear their voices, But not their words No problem, I'm okay. When you fall asleep, She'll take your things No problem, I'm okay. Tell how he hurt you, And he'll do it more often No problem, I'm okay. What's wrong with her now, She doesn't speak much No problem, I'm okay. I eat very little, I try not to be noticed No problem, I'm okay. I never go into that room, It smells dark and empty No problem, I'm okay. They'll leave me behind, Not noticing I'm absent No problem, I'm okay. Who are these people, And why do they taunt me? No problem, I'm okay. Where is my real family, The one's who love me? No problem, I'm okay. So this is what life is, Rejection and pain? No problem, I'm okay. I lived through a lot, I don't have to again No problem, I'm finally okay. Link to comment
LemonCheesecak Posted March 27, 2009 Share Posted March 27, 2009 I never go into that room, It smells dark and empty That bit gave me shivers! Link to comment
waveseer Posted March 27, 2009 Author Share Posted March 27, 2009 LC, this poem is about my life from 3-5 years old. It's the only place I've ever avoided. Link to comment
LemonCheesecak Posted March 27, 2009 Share Posted March 27, 2009 It certainly has a very ominous presence about it. It must have taken a lot of courage to revisit that place. Did you find it helped at all to put it down in words? Link to comment
waveseer Posted March 27, 2009 Author Share Posted March 27, 2009 Absolutely, I was so emotionally well last night that it was finally safe to expunge and grieve these experiences. It only took 40 years. Link to comment
LemonCheesecak Posted March 27, 2009 Share Posted March 27, 2009 I don't want to say I can truly relate because in a sense my woes are probably much more trivial, but I know the feeling. I'm not the most artistic person in the world (I'm a physics guy myself but in all I've gone through in the last 6 years or so, only creative expression seems to have any lasting effect. Link to comment
waveseer Posted March 27, 2009 Author Share Posted March 27, 2009 I used to think my woes were trivial compared to other people's too, but what I finally realized is while that works well to keep me from feeling self-pity, it doesn't do anything for the exorcising of painful memories. It's not what happens to us, but how we perceive it that matters. Do you really think it took 40 years for me to remember well enough? No, it took that long for me to know a) I'd be okay afterward, b) it was important enough, and c) it didn't really matter if anyone thought my poem was crappy. Deeper memories and experiences often require creative expression to have a permanent positive effect for me too. Maybe they are stored differently in the brain. Last night writing that made my heart hurt physically. When I was done writing, the pain stopped. Link to comment
LemonCheesecak Posted March 27, 2009 Share Posted March 27, 2009 You have a very refreshing view on things. And I agree, it took a realisation from me to post my work here last night. While other people might not like what I've done, they will never truly get why I did it. That is something that has come from within me. Link to comment
waveseer Posted March 27, 2009 Author Share Posted March 27, 2009 Well, I'm not saying I fully understand what you were feeling, I did understand your motivation for writing and it inspired me. Link to comment
top bloke Posted March 29, 2009 Share Posted March 29, 2009 Its good to see your courage ready2heal. Sometimes we allow those feelings far too long inside... I feel your release ... i can relate to those thoughts which I take to the grave...good on you for letting them out... A powerful poem... Tb Link to comment
waveseer Posted March 29, 2009 Author Share Posted March 29, 2009 Thanks, tb. I've certainly been living up to my username, lol. Seriously though, I had no expectation of this much healing when I joined ena. It's just such a safe and supportive place to be I keep making progress. People such as yourself are of great assistance, thank you. Link to comment
top bloke Posted March 29, 2009 Share Posted March 29, 2009 Aww..youre welcome.. Youve just made a grown man blush lol Link to comment
waveseer Posted March 29, 2009 Author Share Posted March 29, 2009 No problem, you're okay. Link to comment
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