Getting back together really does happen!

[AmericanHuney]

Couldn't have said it better myself! Especially the part about how there is "no such thing as false hope"! Becuase people break up everyday and people get back together everyday as well...

 

the real question is Will You Want Them Back When They Do Come Back?

 

And as LeeRoy said "i've actually brought ex's back into my life naturally" this is the key!! You dont' focus on it or worry about it, just live and you'll see what I mean

[Jocolly]

Given the choice between simply giving up every time and focusing on hope, I'd choose the latter. But I've not allowed 'hope' to dictate my vision and by focusing on myself, I've actually brought ex's back into my life naturally.

 

I agree, given that the people wisiting this thread are obviously in need of reasurace. There are other threads available offering advice on moving on and healing, all of which are very much valid, but occasionally a thread like this one allows me to know that anything is possible.

No one says that it would be easy, or that we will all get a happy ending, but to know that for some others it has happened, and that in theory it could happen again to me - is increadably reasuring.

[brokenhurt]

nothing is impossible even the word itself says i m possible so you never know ,things happen for a reason sometimes they happen to teach you a lesson so you can do better next time,if you are made for eachother nobody in this whole world can stop you from getting back together

 

if somebody is in your luck you will get him even if you will kill his family .so you never know but that doesnot meant that you should spend your whole life waiting for them while on the other hand they are having party time .you have to move on if they come back its upto you to decide what you want

[bullonparade]

they are having party time

 

I too would much enjoy the party time.

[shalamia]

I agree with the above posts but I too agree that everywhere else on the forum is mostly negative posts about break-ups, rebounds etc. Having hope is all you can do to get on with it sometimes folks...

 

I have a friend who was young (16) when he got together with his partner, they were together for about 3years maybe more, but when pressures of work and living at his partners parents came along it became hard for them. my friend cheated on his partner, and his partner cheated on him, my friend left the relationship, and quickly got with someone else. My friends ex still loved him and tried so hard to get it back but in the end all they had was hope that things would work out for the best, so they got on with their life. They'd been apart for a year and my friends ex was in a bad car crash. when they woke up all they asked for was their ex forgetting that the last year they had been apart. they couldnt remember anything other than this relationship. my friend went to see their ex in hospital and realised they were still inlove. its a year next week since they got back together and they now live together have two cats and a car.

 

true love is out there.

[GotMyLifeBack]

I think a lot of our exes would "wake up" if they were faced with that kind of trauma. I wouldn't wish it on anyone, I'm just saying...

[Jocolly]

in the book / film High Fidelity, the death of the dumpers dad is the catalist for the couple reuniting...

 

I want it bad, but not that bad!! x

[nanana]

Ok. I've posted success stories in the past. One couple I know have been broken up 3 times. The last time they broke up they were apart for a year, total NC before the dumper came back. And he was just in time!

 

Another couple I know are officially back together tonight after being broken up for more than 2 years. They had mostly NC. They've been dating again for the past 5 months.

 

In both cases, because of the NC, it was like dating a brand new person when they reconnected.

[brokenhurt]

lol it takes too much time 1 year and 2 year uhhhhhhhh hell lot of time

[TSandullo]

lol it takes too much time 1 year and 2 year uhhhhhhhh hell lot of time

 

perhaps, but in the bigger picture, a potential lifelong loving union eclipses a year or two of 'waiting'. I met a couple who have been married for 62 year. Made my BU seem bloody insignificant. And rightly so.

 

Happy healing friends.

 

TS

[paulod]

One of my work friends has just told me this (didn't really go into too much detail) he got married in 2001, split from his wife in 2002, no real contact with each other for years, just spoke when he needed references for work (he's a contractor) 2010 - now back together and all going great by all accounts!!

[faithful14]

I posted this in another thread but I'm going to put in here because it definitely put me in a good mood (even though it's about celebrities)

 

Prince William and Kate (gf of 8 years)- are finally getting married!!! They went through 2 breakups and with William going through a period of uncertainty over wanting to getting married.

 

Prince Harry and his gf of 6 years- have an on/off relationship- have reunited again after spending several months apart....

 

Leonardo Dicaprio and Bar Rafaeli- were on and off also. This last time, she wanted the relationship to move forward (moving in together, getting married), he didn't want it so he broke it off. 6 months later they reunited, and rumor is that he is getting ready to settle down.

 

Actor Hayden Christensen broke off his engagement with his gf Rachel Bilson 4 months ago. It seems as though they are dating again after a 4month seperation.

[faithful14]

I have a new story to share; its about one of my best friends from high school. We'll call her lacey and the guy brandon

 

Lacey dated Brandon during her freshmen year of highschool; Brandon was one grade above us. He really loved her and she loved him too, but not as much as he did. I forgot what happened, but a year later they break up. She wanted to date others and such. He was clearly upset but he did his best to move on and date others. They were still friends that talked every once in a while. She went off to college in a different state, graduated and came back home. A couple months later, they reconnected . After spending some time together, they realized they still loved each other and got back together. They are both incredibly happy and super in love with each other. They got married this summer and have a kid on the way!

[kate1985]

After my very recent breakup, I went to my mom to seek some advice.

 

During our conversation, she told me about her relationship with my father. They both started dating each other at 22 years old. Five years into the relationship, my dad decided to dump her because he missed the single life. My mom was devastated and decided that she had no choice but to move on. They had very little contact for over a year (4 months NC), and both even dated different people. Well...my dad eventually came back and the rest is history. They got married and were together for 25 years (until my father passed away).

 

Their relationship makes me believe that anything is possible. The most important thing is to move on while time does it's job. Your ex may come back, maybe not. What's important is we don't sit around and let life pass us by waiting for someone who may never come back. Whatever will be, will be. There's no use in obsessing over it.

[kate1985]

Oops double post

[faithful14]

That was a great story about your mom and dad. Thank you for sharing : )

[faithful14]

okay, I have another getting back together story and this one is about one of my co-workers and her ex-bf- she told me this while we were at work today.

 

They were together two years on and off, the main problem being that he never knew what he really wanted. When they were broken up, he would go on mess around with other girls and do things that really hurt my co-worker. So after a lot of drama, she finally had enough. He ended things and she pretty much agreed to it, telling him that he was not worthy of her love and that she was going to move on and find someone who would treat her right. They had NC for a while and when he started to miss her, he would text her. She would only respond every now and then. She went on to date other guys and do things that made her happy while he rebounded with some random girl.

 

This was all 6 months ago and when I saw her again today; she finally told me what's happening. She said that she had met some guy and had hit it off right away. When her ex figured out that she wasn't responding because she was with another guy, he flipped out. He started calling her over and over asking her if it was too late and that he realized he didnt want her to be with another guy. He wanted to work things out with her and that he's sorry it has taken him so long to realize what he meant to her. So they have both dropped their rebounds and are slowly working things out. She's told me that he's actually putting in the effort to make this work and that he really wants this relatiosnhip to work. He doesn't want to lose her.

 

So yes; there are people who get back together. And trust me, from the things I have heard, their relationship was unhealthy and their breakup was pretty nasty- I thought it was over for good. It just goes to show that getting back together does happen.

[GotMyLifeBack]

One lesson here is that there are no hard and fast rules about how to create the conditions for reconciliation. Usually on these boards, begging is discouraged but for this couple it worked. I'm just amazed at the range of behaviors, needs, and communication styles that can bring people together. I think we have to be careful about saying "NC" no matter what the question is (and no, NC isn't "just for your own healing." NC can have many purposes depending on the situation).

[pillowtalk]

Not to rain this on story's parade, but this reconciliation sounds like it's headed for another breakup! Too. Much. Drama.

 

But to balance out my realistic pessimism, I'll add a success story: My friend met in college and dated casually, but just didn't work out. No real drama or anything, they were just young. Years later, they end up in the same city -- older and more mature -- they reconnect, and whaddaya know -- they've been married for three years now.

[paradiselost]

sorry pillow talk I disagree - I know another couple who went through two year more off on than - went through a lot, LD relationship, death of a father, problems with the mother in law, relocating, jobs and there were more off than on.

 

finally my friend asked him - she thought he would reject her and she went with that in mind feeling she needed to hear it again to get the message. When she spoke to him he told her he really missed her, thoght she came to tell him she was dating someone else and thank god she came back to ask him as he would never had the courage.

 

one year one (now their third year) very happy and looking into buying a place to move in.

 

trust me if they can anyone can!

 

Also agree with agonizin - NC is not necessarily the best thing - it so depends on the people involved - if someone has been severely burnt in the past NC is the worst as they need reassurance - its all about making a judgment call thats rational and adequate.

[byates5637]

I just got back together with my ex after about 2 months apart. We are moving in together now.

[faithful14]

so byates, can you give us a little summary of what happened, how you got back together, NC/LC?

[iwannarun]

This doesn't count as a success story, really. But my ex (before my most recent breakup) and me were together for almost 13 months. He broke up with me after saying he wasn't attracted to me anymore, that he didn't feel the same way, that he pictured us being unhappy in the future wanting to kill each other, he called me jealous and controlling and immature and dishonest, and that he just wasn't in love with me anymore. I didn't talk to him for a week. Then he called me and left a voicemail while at work, texted me asking to see me, etc. By then, with the help of friends and coworkers, I had realized that I deserved SO much better (he was a jerk). So when he wanted to see me, I said no. I told him I didn't want to see him, that what he told me made me realize I could never be with someone like him. I was just completely over it already. I haven't spoken a word to him since then. He's tried to contact me 3 times after that, until I started going out with someone else (my most recent breakup).

 

It does happen, and dumpers do realize they made a stupid mistake sometimes. But I agree with everyone else that begging & pleading doesn't work, and that moving forward with your life is the BEST thing to do, whether you want the person back or not. You might think you will always want that person back, but you never know. You may move on in the process!

[kate1985]

Don't know if celebrities count but Marie Osmond is re marrying her first husband.

 

Anything is possible when it comes to love. But don't wait around or stop living. Just let nature take it's course...I truly believe that if two people are meant to be, they will find their way back together.

 

I still hope and pray that my ex will come back to me...but at the same time, I'm gonna continue on living my life and being open to meeting new people. If he comes back, then yay for me!! If he doesn't, then at least I would've moved on.

[probablybetter]

I've been pining for my most recent ex for so long that i completely forgot about an ex who came back to me years ago! This was a guy who dumped me over instant messaging and basically fell off the planet of the earth. I was devastated and tried to move on, but he popped into my life 3 months later and broke my heart all over again. It was basically NC from that point on - I saw him around from time to time but we always ignored each other. Pretty sad if I actually think about it. Well 1 whole year of NC later, he started messaging me again out of the blue! Immediately he started calling me "sexy", telling me how I was still as beautiful as he remembered. When I asked him what he wanted, he said that he still loved me, still thought I was the perfect person for him, and thought that we were meant to be! I was shocked!! I thought he had moved on completely because I heard lot of rumors about him liking other girls. Well my feelings for him were gone by then so I just let the conversation peter out. We're decent friends now (no feelings whatsoever). But it still amazes me that he could come back 1 year of NC later, and tell me I was on his mind after all that time!