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Is it possible to be happy and not have relationships?


tomtommyboy

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I've only ever had one serious relationship that lasted about 18 months; it ended two years ago and initially I threw myself into some other things, none of which lasted.

 

I'm now pretty much back where I was before the relationship, i.e. single and kinda content with that. I'm happy in my own company, have plenty of friends, and like the fact I can do what I like when I want to. I'm also pushing 30 and find I can take-or-leave sex these days; it doesn't feel as important to me as it did although I guess it would be kinda nice...but not a big deal for me anymore.

 

All that said, I've never been very "good" with women, and right now I feel kinda unattractive (a bit overweight) and out of practice. It's been about 6 months since anything happened with anyone. I'm wondering if I really am content to be single, or just pretending I am. Is it actually possible to be single and happy? (and by single I mean really single, i.e. not dating either, not having any sort of romantic involvement with anyone).

 

Opinions?

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There's the pros and cons of being in and out of a relationship.

It's possible to be single and happy.

Good times with the best of friends, doing what you like.

Find some cool hobbies, plan some get-togethers with some friends.

Let time tell when you magically meet the right counterpart.

Enjoy life to the fullest until that time, don't stress about being single.

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Being happy with yourself is the first step in having a happy healthy life. Many look to someone else to MAKE them happy or fill some void in their lives which leads to disaster later on. If you are happy and happen to meet someone one day and can share that happiness with them you will be in a great place indeed.

It sounds like you are doing well except you have issues with your physical appearance. Taking care of mind and body is key to long lived happiness. Start working out and eating right and it will do wonders to everything in your live.

 

lost

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Oh its possible to be happy even without being in a relationship...! There are ppl who get into relationships so quickly,cuz they cant be without a gf/bf...Imo that comes from low self-esteem, insecurity, looking for others to give happiness that they dont have in their selves. Ofc its normal to long for someone to be intimate with or to meet ppl, but i dont htink its healthy when ppl are depressed and desperate for a relationship with someone....You will always meet someone sooner or later..It happens when you dont expect. For now I think u should start a better life style, work out, eat healthy, try to strengten your self-confidence.....etc.

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Yes. And not only is it possible, it's really a necessity. You need to be able to be happy single before you have a hope of having a healthy relationship. Also, I've found many people have goals in life that are just better achieved while single. So take the time you have and go on all the crazy trips/adventures you've wanted to do but haven't yet made time for.

 

I'll also say, being in shape and content with your physical appearance should be a high priority. Even if you never wanted to date again, you can miss out on so many opportunities in life when you're not in shape. For instance a backpacking or whitewater rafting trip could come your way at the drop of a hat. Be ready! And of course, it'll help with confidence with the opposite sex.

 

BTW, there have been many people that have lived their entire lives completely celibate. Theravada Buddhist monks are one such set. And they're much happier than most of the people you'll run into on the street that are in relationships.

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Cool thanks guys. I don't think I am deluding myself, I'm just content to be single...but getting in shape (mental as well as physical) should be more of a priority I think, I agree with all your comments. I have 3rd-week syndrome quite badly, i.e. can go to the gym for 2 weeks nonstop and love it then the novelty wears off...hard to make a real change in one's life I think.

 

But I'll stop worrying about the woman issue I guess

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