My GF's male Co-Workers....

[dream merchant]

Today she told me that the male co-workers there are in the age range of 18-21. She told me that they're already asking her friend about her, wanting to know where she's from and such. Hearing that gets me pretty annoyed but I'd never show it to her or act on it, it just bothers me to hear it and know that its going on because there are going to be those guys in the workplace who will come accross to her as a friend but are genuinely trying to get her in the sack, regardless of if she's single or not. I know she isn't naive but like I said she's friendly, so if a guy were to approach her on some friendly "Hi how are you?" *flash a smile* "I wanna know how you're holding up at work" bull****, she isn't going to think anything of it, she's just going to be her normal polite self. Something about her being friendly towards guys who have hidden intentions just really irks me and that's the issue here.

 

I really don't know how people deal with that, I guess I'll get over it with time because as of right now this is a new area in our relationship, her being around guys who want to have sex with her 9 hours out of the day. It bothers me that they're going to front on that friendly co-worker demeanor but in reality they're just trying to get close to her and hopefully get lucky. That's what I'm really really REALLY stressing here. Its not that I don't trust my GF, but I'm more worried about her getting hoodwinked into an emotional/physical affair as dumb as that sounds. I don't want her to befriend a guy who's slowly going to put the moves on her. Maybe I just don't have faith in my GF like I should.

[tictactoe2006]

What I would do is, first off, remember that you trust her. But also, jsut keep an ear to the ground and, if you hear something she mentions about one of these guys that bothers you, explain yourself to her constructively, using mindful and caring words. Emphasize that you love her and trust her, but guy A saying/doing XYZ gets you uncomfortable. Also, ask her what she would like you to do, were the situation reversed.

 

I find that with these sort of things, if you can verbalize your point politely andrespectfully, you can make her aware of your concerns. She will then either explain the issues/happennings that upset you in a way that sets your mind at ease, or she will see your side of the story and be a little more aware.

[SexyAimz]

i hear that there are loads of 'hot' business women where my boyfriend works, and that came from his mouth talking to his friend.

 

but iv been with him long enough to trust him. or maybe im naiive lol.

 

it is just trust, but i know how frustrationg it is not having any control over these people.

[JeffXL5]

I feel for you 100%. My girlfriend is the nicest person you've ever met, which can be a problem in the sense that other guys will use that to there advantage and try to get nice and close to her. Shes too worried about being nice she doesn't realize the scum that lurks around the corner.

 

I trust her fully, but you know what if they keep getting closer and closer one of these days there going to say "Oh come up to the store with me on break", which will turn into, "Lets go get lunch", which turns into, "Lets go to a movie this Saturday night and then I can take you home and * * * * your brains out"... Maybe not EXACTLY like that but they will snowball it until they can get with them on a personal level outside of work.

 

So at first my GF accused me of being jealous or what have you, which I am to small extent I wont lie, but she knows now I'm just concerned about her well being because she doesn't realize the true intentions of other men like men do.

 

I simply ask her if anyone's been hitting on her. She says yes or no. If no then I drop it. If she says yes I'm like 'Who? What? Where? When? Why? *Grabs baseball bat*' and I'm on my merry way.

 

She actually doesn't mind at all when I ask her if anyone has been eying her, to my surprise. Maybe she understands my concern but I've been able to deal with it pretty well.

 

The closest anyone ever got in that sort of situation was when a truck driver who delivers to the warehouse she works in gave her his phone number (he's like 45 shes 20) and told her to call him if she ever needed somebody to talk too. You better believe I called him up the next night, and his boss. Lets just say he doesn't deliver the orders to that location anymore.

 

The best way for you to deal with it is just to ask how her day went everyday. If you make it known that you want to know about any inappropriate male activity then hopefully she will let you know. Pick and choose your battles very carefully though. It's up to her to solve the problem if there is one, and she wont solve it herself then you either step in and take over or drop it and deal, but just be cautious with that. Good luck to you.

[DN]

Why is she telling you this?

[Crazyaboutdogs]

In life, no matter how old you are, there could be someone who will try to put the moves on someone's partner. If your partner is reliable, trustworthy and has integrity, she will not bite. There is nothing wrong with her being friendly to other men...you can be friendly and still reject any advances. You are getting too bent out of shape over something that is really within your girlfriend's power, not yours and not those other guys. If she wants to cheat she can find anybody to cheat with, it doesn't have to be with co-workers turning on the charm. I think you need to work on your own insecurity levels and deep down distrust of your girlfriend because you are too bent out of shape over this.

[Scorpion Fury]

First off, someone with integrity that is worth being with does not get "hoodwinked" into an affair. That's absolutely ridiculous and shifts the blame from her to only the other man, as if she didn't have any responsibility for her actions. This really comes down to you trusting her or not. It seems like you don't. Has she given you a reason not to? If she is honest and trustworthy and loves you and only you, it doesn't matter how many guys hit on her at work. It's up to her to reciprocate and if she does, it would be no one's fault but her own.

 

I also have to wonder why she is telling you this. Sounds like she is trying to make you jealous. Does she seem to enjoy getting you all riled up?

[annie24]

First off, someone with integrity that is worth being with does not get "hoodwinked" into an affair. That's absolutely ridiculous and shifts the blame from her to only the other man, as if she didn't have any responsibility for her actions. This really comes down to you trusting her or not. It seems like you don't. Has she given you a reason not to? If she is honest and trustworthy and loves you and only you, it doesn't matter how many guys hit on her at work. It's up to her to reciprocate and if she does, it would be no one's fault but her own.

 

I also have to wonder why she is telling you this. Sounds like she is trying to make you jealous. Does she seem to enjoy getting you all riled up?

 

yeah - that's my take on things too!!!!

[girl68]

If you trust her, you've let your thoughts run wild!

 

Not ALL guys wants to get into her panties ok? Some guys will respect that she has a boyfriend and won't put the moves on her. Give SOME dudes the benefit of the doubt ok? As for the rest of them... what are you so worried about? Is she unhappy with you? Are you in a rough patch? If no to both, I doubt you have anything to worry about.

 

There's lots of dudes here at my work that would probably try to bed me if I was single and a hoe. But here's the catch, I'm not. I'm friendly, and will talk to the guys at work but how does that lead to them bedding me? You think just because they put moves on me that I'll be down? Have you ever thought maybe your gf will reject their advances?

 

You need to get over it- unless you have GOOD reason to believe something might happen.

[dream merchant]

She only told me about the male co-workers inquiring about her because I asked. She knows it makes me a little bit annoyed so she chooses not to disclose it unless I ask. The trust in my GF may not be all there but I'd say its at least 95%. I don't trust the male co-workers around her, and I don't trust her wits. She's very friendly and polite and at times naive, that's what I'm afraid of. At times I feel like maybe she doesn't know when to draw the line, or ignores the small advancements of male co-workers just for the sake of keeping the awkwardness at work at bay. I'm taking her out to dinner tonight and I'm going to express my concern about this.

[DN]

If your girlfriend is trustworthy then it doesn't matter if her male co-workers are not.

 

You were wrong IMO in bringing this up in the first place. She should not have to defend herself against unfounded suspicion.

[dream merchant]

If your girlfriend is trustworthy then it doesn't matter if her male co-workers are not.

 

You were wrong IMO in bringing this up in the first place. She should not have to defend herself against unfounded suspicion.

 

She is, and yes you're right, I am in the wrong for not giving her 100% of my trust when she is deserving of it. Over dinner I sat her down and explained to her that I'm concerned her male co-workers may pose as friends when really they have ulterior motives. She expressed that all the male co-workers who have approached her she's kept it strictly professional and will continue to do so because she has no interest in taking it further than that. She said one of her male co-workers even went as far as calling her desk phone from his to strike up conversation, asking if she was anti-social because she hasn't been very open with him, she answered yes then hung up.

 

Now, I do not ask of her to be anti-social with her co-workers, not at all, I actually embrace her making new friends. I just wanted to get it off my chest and let her know that there are going to be male co-workers who will only pose as friends in efforts of getting her in the sack. At first I thought she wouldn't be able to distinguish between the latter and a genuine polite person but from what she's told me I do have faith in her judgement, I should've from the get go but now I do.

 

I think for the most part, these male co-workers are drawn to her through her friend's demeanor, who is actually training her until Friday. Her friend is an actual hoe and is all over every guy at the job. I guess when the male co-workers see my GF with her they figure my GF gets down like her friend, you know the saying, "birds of a feather often flock together". My GF expressed that she can't wait to get away from her friend who's training her because she also feels that these guys are drawn to her cause they figure she's just like her friend.

 

Only time will tell, we had an amazing day today and it definitely regenerated my confidence in our relationship and my trust in her. I took her out to eat, got her some shoes, and we had really really really great sex. That oughtta be enough to keep any man on any woman's mind eh? =)

[orangesoda]

this isn't unusual and it happens everyday to every woman. i don't think you were telling her anything she didn't already know - most women have a sixth sense for it.

 

some women enjoy the attention, and go along with the 'pseudo' friendship thing, whether they're single or have an SO. some women don't. it's all a matter of personal preference. some women will have an entire harem of 'guy friends' like these, which can stress the hell out of a relationship. some women don't like the fake pretense they're based on, and will draw a very clear line in the sand about it.

 

It sounds like your GF is one of those girls - which is nice for you. But always remember that what these guys do, she can't control. Bringing it up once is tolerable, but harping on it will only make you look jealous and controlling. I would not bring this issue up again unless you have a very good reason to.

[dream merchant]

Its really annoying though, sometimes it makes me wish I never had a GF because there's a constant mental battle with guys who're trying to * * * * your GF. Like today, some guy tried to play all sweet and innocent and bought her M&M's. * * * * like that pisses me off to no end because I know what they're up to and they think they're so slick trying to get into my GF's pants like that.

[Kiteless]

Its really annoying though, sometimes it makes me wish I never had a GF because there's a constant mental battle with guys who're trying to * * * * your GF. Like today, some guy tried to play all sweet and innocent and bought her M&M's. * * * * like that pisses me off to no end because I know what they're up to and they think they're so slick trying to get into my GF's pants like that.

 

 

Dude you need to let it go. This is a normal part of life that will always happen. There are way better things to spend your energy on and you are just making it rough on yourself for no reason!

 

If your gf is going to cheat, she is going to cheat, no matter if guys are coming on to her or not. You trust her, and that's enough. Just chill out and enjoy life! It's too short to worry or get pissed off about stuff you don't have any control over.