redhearts Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 He will not stop texting me. Yes I would GLADLY change my number, but then I don't want to. Why? It would feel like he won. Because he is telling me go back home (move back to the state I'm from), change your number etc. He won't stop texting me!!! I'm just not reading the texts and erasing. He is blowing it up after saying oh you were cheating you are on a dating site. Uhmm nice try? It is a site to also meet people as in friendships, he doesn't get that. I'm in a new city, new state for 3 more months, I like some humans to conversate with. It is just obnoxious and annoying that he thinks otherwise. It annoys me!! I even put, not looking, only here to make friends. IDIOT! I'm staying here. Like I posted, my dream is to play in a Church, I have an audition next week! I have a job interview tomorrow, I'M FINE HERE. I don't need to run to daddy when everything goes wrong, because everything is going RIGHT. IDIOT! Had to vent. Should I change my number? Yes I dodged a bullet here, he threw TWO objects at me last night when I was trying to be civil and just hang out. Then after that I said we are done even as friends! Link to comment
JeckyllNHyde Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 Wow. Sounds crazy of your bf. Specially since I take it you moved state to be with him in the first place (before things ended)?! If you changed your number he WON'T have won IMO. He's lose cause he wouldn't be able to contact you and bother you. Link to comment
redhearts Posted February 26, 2009 Author Share Posted February 26, 2009 Thanks. It sucks that he thinks I did something and I didn't. I mean why can't he get that well I'm going to be here 3 more months, why can't I try talking to people? Why can't I even make friends on-line at the very least so I don't go crazy without human conversation. I know I'm a good person, who acts borderline crazy at times. But that is only when someone drives me insane, like he did. Small town, I know if I were to try to date, I run into him for sure and DRAMA. So I wouldn't even try it. Besides its nice to be single and find myself for once. I sent a resume for a job, it has my cell number. So I mean that is my debator on changing it. Link to comment
hers Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 Man I'm glad you didn't marry him. Link to comment
redhearts Posted February 26, 2009 Author Share Posted February 26, 2009 Man I'm glad you didn't marry him. Me too. High five! LOL. My dad told me on the phone, "THIS IS NOT THE RIGHT GUY. DID YOU LISTEN TO ME? THIS IS NOT THE RIGHT GUY." hahaha. Ya I guess he is right, but he said that when I had broken it off with this guy. I can't tell my dad yet. The first thing he do is come here and send me packing home, lol. I kinda like the small town, fresh air, good things going kind of thing. Link to comment
hers Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 See, isn't it best to wait for a while and really get to know a person before you marry them! Link to comment
redhearts Posted February 26, 2009 Author Share Posted February 26, 2009 See, isn't it best to wait for a while and really get to know a person before you marry them! Ya So very true! I got here and I didn't even know who he was. Link to comment
hers Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 I think it'd be great if you wrote a thread about getting married so quickly with your experience. So many people on the board seem to think the honeymoon stage lasts forever and want to get married so quickly! It's scary! Link to comment
cyberdog Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 Can't you file charges for harassment against him if you tell him to quit and he doesn't? I'm pretty sure you can with regular telephone calls but I'm not sure about texting. Link to comment
karvala Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 He is blowing it up after saying oh you were cheating you are on a dating site. Uhmm nice try? It is a site to also meet people as in friendships, he doesn't get that. Well if you really want to upset him and get him off your back once and for all, tell him that yes, you were cheating (even though you weren't), you were looking for a real man to satisfy you. That'll certainly take the wind out of his sails. Of course it's a rather cruel thing to do, but if he's now abusing you and your personal space, and you want to fight back in self-defence, then it's an option. Link to comment
redhearts Posted February 26, 2009 Author Share Posted February 26, 2009 I could just be cruel and find a way to e-mail his squadron leader and tell him that he was hitting me. That would get him into a LOAD of trouble. But this morning, even though I was about to not read this e-mail, I was like oh Lord more drama. I just had a feeling it wouldn't be all bad. It was an apology. He said, maybe I should of sent you flowers, maybe I should of written you sweet letters, NOW HE FIGURES IT OUT?! My God I knew it! If I dumped him, if I made it clear it was over, I knew he would get the picture. Men are so predicitable! Link to comment
hers Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 How do you know he's not just saying all that? Link to comment
redhearts Posted February 26, 2009 Author Share Posted February 26, 2009 Good point, I forget that sometimes, hahaha. Thanks for that. I forgot, you can't give in that easily. I have to remember how he acted that day, the yelling, the throwing objects at me, the tone of voice etc. I mean that was a really scary side of him I hadn't seen. Who gets upset over someone joking your chubby? He had been at the gym for nearly an hour and came back, jokingly I say your chubby, HE LOST IT. (Pssh eating disorder) That e-mail just was on the lines of saying he should of done this, should of done that, reminds me of a country song. hahaha. But anyways his e-mail was saying that I deserve someone better etc. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 Women everyday really crumble over being told they are chubby. I don't think it is very nice to do to a man either. No one really wants to hear that, and to say it was mean even if joking. Especially after he spent an hour at the gym. Sounds like you two jumped into marriage before even knowing who each other really was. Link to comment
jennamajig Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 Women everyday really crumble over being told they are chubby. I don't think it is very nice to do to a man either. No one really wants to hear that, and to say it was mean even if joking. Especially after he spent an hour at the gym. Sounds like you two jumped into marriage before even knowing who each other really was. I've found men can actually be even more sensitive about their bodies than women can. At least my ex was - I swear I heard more "I'm fat today" comments from him (and he wasn't fat at all! He could have been compliment fishing, which men do just as much as women!) than I'd ever heard from any woman. It's why I think many push themselves at the gym. Body image is tough in today's plastic surgery world. Hearing that you are chubby - even in jest - can hurt. I don't know your back story, red, but how long did you date prior to marriage? And if his texts are bordering on harassing - why don't you simply block his number for a while? I think you can do that and perhaps it can give you both the NC you probably need. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 ..and what on earth is a PEACH TARD? Link to comment
redhearts Posted February 26, 2009 Author Share Posted February 26, 2009 A funny word. LOL. Well thing is, he is insanely OBSESSED a little much about what he eats, works out 2 hours a day usually. EVERY DAY. Its over the top. He has a 4 pack, trying to get a 6 pack, so I mean if you have that I don't see why a chubby comment would bother. Besides if you just got done with the gym then that is when you look a little more fit anyways. After boot camp, HE GOT WORSE. He saw how being starved for two months made him look "better" in his eyes all cut etc. So I know what he is trying to do, he wants to somehow stay looking like that, which isn't healthy. I know the difference between eating healthy and having an eating disorder. I know he wants to stay in shape, but the way he does it isn't healthy, its obsessive. Now I see what went wrong. The military brought out the worst in him. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 Well the last thing to say to a person with a potential eating disorder is "you are chubby'. It's just mean. Link to comment
redhearts Posted February 26, 2009 Author Share Posted February 26, 2009 Well the last thing to say to a person with a potential eating disorder is "you are chubby'. It's just mean. True. I didn't think of that. He made dumb remarks about my body so I kinda just let that out. Oops. He knew I got made fun of in school when I was younger about it, but yet likes to mention that I shouldn't have more hair than him. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 You two should stop engaging in such high school behvavior with the name calling. Link to comment
redhearts Posted February 26, 2009 Author Share Posted February 26, 2009 You two should stop engaging in such high school behvavior with the name calling. I agree, I don't do it so much. It was just a one time ohh your chubby! In the most JOKING voice. Link to comment
BeStrongBeHappy Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 If this is escalating to throwing things and name calling, it is obvious that the way to stop the drama is just stop contact. Just email him and say it is obvious this is not working or good for both of you, so please don't contact you again... Then just stop contacting him, and if he tries to contact you, don't respond. If you never respond, he will eventually stop. YOu don't want to escalate this either if he gets violent. Link to comment
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