MY JOURNEY CALENDAR

[Wiediam]

MY SHORT STORIES

"my old story was I've been dating my girlfriend for 7 month we were happy in those day alot of memories, we fight as well sometimes and last dec we went holiday together I was so happy until 25 january 2004 we broke up is been 1 month we had a big argument. my problem is that i don't listen to her, inmature guy, selfish and stubborn. for 1 month I make mistake all the time keep on calling her and pushing her. to tell you the truth she is one of a stubborn girl I've ever met in my life. well today I saw her talk with her she still said no chance we are getting together again. is ok so i decided and say to her ok maybe the time is not right but I still love you maybe I will look for you again in 2 or 3 year later cause no matter what I still love you. I told her aswell let's just be friends no heart felling. but in my heart she will always be there caused no matter what I LOVE HER"

 

*1 day nothing to say still sad and think about her but keep it cool, busy and smilling.most important no contact and pray always for her to realize how I love her so much.

 

*2 day nothing happen today a part just me alone going to church pray for us together hopefully there is a way so that we can be together again

 

*3 day still the same nothing happen just ussual live but keep on praying about her MISS HER SO MUCH DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

 

*4 day nothing much start again with my life start working again and start doing exercise to keep fit. but still miss her so much can help it keep on praying.

 

*5 day hear the most disappointed news she got new bf after 1 month breakups so stress but keep hangging there and pray

 

*6 day got a part time job do the best i can not to think of her but so hard cause deep inside me still say i love her so much.

[Beec]

Wiediam,

 

I think you have been going about it all wrong, but I think you know that too. The posts linked below are similar in their issues. You need to show her you are someone other than who you were while appearing to just be trying to be a friend, but actually trying to pull her in. These posts may help. Read and ask questions.

 

 

 

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[Wiediam]

so you saying that she is the ball and i need to get her in the tennis court right in order to play. but the thing is i'm not really sure how to do that ?? i'm not that experience in doing that thing but if you can give me tips that will be helpfull for me beec. thanks buddy

[spatzcolumbo]

Tennis is being used to describe these situations because it is a good way of demonstrating how to approach the situation. She is your 'opponent'. Contact between you and her can be thought of as 'the ball'. In a game of tennis, you obviously have to hit the ball into her court, and then she will hit it back to you (unless she is Venus Williams or something in which case i'd get out of the way). In tennis, you don't constantly pelt your opponent with balls, so in no contact, you shouldn't be constantly making contact with your ex.

 

In post-break up times, it is usually the ex that starts with the ball. Once you start no contact, it is up to her to hit the ball over into your court. This WILL happen at some point. The important thing is that you wait for it, and get on with your life in the meantime. Once she does contact you then the ball is in your court. You can then decide to let it go, or you can decide to volley it back at her. It's a nice feeling when you have that ball though, so don't give it up to easily. Hold onto it for a while, know what it feels like to know you are in control of the shot you are about to play, and there is nothing she can do about it. Make her sweat for a while, wondering exactly what shot you are gonna play. then, when and if you are ready, you can reply to her, thus hitting the ball back into her court.

 

The rule is generally not to get too excited when she contacts you - you have to get to the point where you can really play it cool and stay unaffected by her contact. this is when you can then (in theory) start to work on stuff.

 

hope this helps

[Wiediam]

well is hard i know sometimes especcialy my ex gf is one of the stuborn girl I ever met but I love her dearly and really want to get back together with her. what if she doesn't call ????? how long this game have to be on ???? is just confusing don't know what to do ?????????????? just no contact a bit confused 8)

[spatzcolumbo]

There is no agreed time for the 'game' of no contact. if you have read other posts, you will know taht it has two main aims as i see it:

 

1) to help you get on with your life without your ex - by removing you from the thing that causes you pain

 

or

 

2) to try and help with the possibility of getting back with your ex

 

It is generally agreed that the ex WILL contact you at some point - even if it is just out of curiosity ovr why they have not heard from you. When they do initiate contact, you do not want to be the same weak, depressed, broken person you were when they dumped you. you want to be strong, independent, happy, confident.

 

I have heard a number of stories of the ex contacting after 25-30 days. This was how long my ex waited. you have to be aware though that even after this time, you must be careful how you take these contacts.

 

You will also find that you will become very stressed, and feel hopeless during early stages of no contact. Get through it. post here, write it down, talk to a friend, but DON'T break. Don't contact the ex.

 

After a while, it WILL become easier, and you will feel better, and you WILL feel great when the ex does make contact.

[Wiediam]

the problem right now is that she really hate me right now and seems that she doesn't want me back don't know why. according to the stories i know she never ever contact the ex again once she get over it then she start to move on don't even want to know about the past that is why i'm worried. acctually to tell you the truth i want to get back together and i will try my best to not contacting her but if she never contact me then what should i do to get her back ????????? ADVISE anyone

[Beec]

If you get to a point where you can absolutely control your emotions, you can contact her. But when you do, you had better really have a plan on how to get to her emotions. YOu must approach with no indication of anything erotic or romantic, she cannot know you want her back, you must be very vague and send mixed signals, you must stir up a desire in her, through only vague references, after stirring it up be the guy to fulfill these desires, try to make yourself seem or appear desirable esp. to others, and a bunch more things. Most of these we do unconsciously, but you should be looking to figure out some of what goes into getting someone to fall in love and or fall for a seduction. You need to understand the simple psychology, in order to react and make your plan fluid as she reacts.

[Wiediam]

u know is really hurt my heart when i hear this news she got an new bf after just 1 month is like she's moving on. i heard from my friend she did this cause she doesn't want me bug her life anymore. until now i'm very patient with her and still love her dearly but don't know what to do?? her birthday coming up 10 march next week shoul i do anything ????? PLEASE ADVISE NEEDED GUYS. i feeling so sad everyday eventhough now i work doing things but still at night time i remmember her even in my dream always everyday i pray for her and for our relationship to work out but well sometimes you just don't get it why this is happening.