When do you think I should ask her out after I cancelled first date?

[zmanks]

Hi all,

 

So I met this girl a couple weeks ago that I feel could have a really good connection with and that I'm attracted to. We made plans last week to meet up for a drink, which would be our first time of hanging out alone. I was really excited during the whole process of talking and being interested. That was all great. But the only issue was that I just got out of a relationship with a girl about a month ago that I really cared about but had to move away for work; so I still think about her and miss her quite a bit.

 

With this new girl I asked out last week but cancelled the same night through a facebook message and wanted to be honest. I told her that I wasn't ready to be in the position of being in an one-on-one with a girl when I wasn't 100% certain of my thoughts and didn't want to steer her in the wrong direction. I think giving her the reason for another girl could have turned her off but like I said I wanted to be honest and it wasn't because I wasn't interested, I just need a little more time.

 

Well even though it's only a week later I feel a lot more better about my situation and feel good about dating again. I sent her a IM over facebook today but she signed off a few minutes later without saying anything. I feel that was her way of telling me that she was slightly upset for cancelling with the reasons I had. I do want to ask her out again and would like to hang out with her soon. How long do you think I should wait? I thought i should send her a message saying hi to gage her reaction around Tuesday or Wednesday. Should I wait longer? And in the message do you think I should apologize for canceling or just try to move past that event?

 

Thanks for the thoughts!

[sombersun]

Hi all,

 

So I met this girl a couple weeks ago that I feel could have a really good connection with and that I'm attracted to. We made plans last week to meet up for a drink, which would be our first time of hanging out alone. I was really excited during the whole process of talking and being interested. That was all great.

 

Then WHY on earth would you make plans?

And cancelled through an internet program?

 

Seriously?

 

How old are you?

Wow!

I'd be amazed if she even bothered talking to you again...

You shot her down...she got to tell all her friends she was going out on a date...then she got to say you cancelled (via facebook!)

LOL

 

I apologize...I just find it incredible you would do all of this knowing you aren't over the other one.

You should have just gone and decide what you want to do after that.

 

I would call her with a phone and ask her out again on a specified date. And cross your fingers.

She doesn't need time to heal after you cancelled on her!

You are the one with timing issues.

[zmanks]

You know you can help others without being nasty. I posted this because I made a mistake and was hoping for assistance not to be yelled at. Thanks

 

1. I did it through facebook because that was how we were communicating. We first met in person for only a couple minutes through a friend. And only talked on the phone for a minute just to confirm the date. We had been talking through facebook so I sent her the message on there since I felt it would be more familiar to her.

 

2. I asked her out because I thought I was ready. When I started searching my feelings about spending time with her I started thinking about my ex. It wasn't my intention for that to happen it just did.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

If you weren't ready a week ago I doubt if you are really ready now. At any rate, since she now knows that you cancelled on her because you are missing your ex, if you ask her out a week after cancelling she is likely not going to be impressed and will think that you are asking her out in order to try to get over the ex. It looks like is not happy that you cancelled on her and if you really want to try again then an apology would be a good idea to help smooth things over.

[sombersun]

And let us know what happens!

[zmanks]

Should I call or should I go through facebook?

[jenny_mcs]

I think you blew this one and should probably move on. I certainly would not accept a date from a guy who just one week ago canceled on me because he was not over his ex.

[Ariel85]

OK, so to recap, you:

 

Asked a girl out on a date

Cancelled the day of the date

Told her it's because you still have feelings for another woman

A week later you decide you are ready to date, and want to contact her

 

Er, no.

 

This all makes you out to be extremely emotionally unbalanced and not good dating material.

 

You did blow it with this one - big time. Just move on, and do keep your feelings about other women to yourself...

[Clementine orange]

Better believe she's wailing to her friends about you!

 

I'd let this one go and next time, don't be so friggin' honest - people don't need to know everything - it's a cancelled date not an appointment with a therapist

 

Chaulk this up to experience dude!

[Brightest Dark]

You pretty much blew it - but you could try grovelling really hard. If she has feeling for you and you grovel A LOT she may possibly give you another chance - but you're definitely in her bad books for what you did.

[sombersun]

How long do you think I should wait? I thought i should send her a message saying hi to gage her reaction around Tuesday or Wednesday. Should I wait longer? And in the message do you think I should apologize for canceling or just try to move past that event?

 

I'll say one more thing...

 

you see all that quoted text above? Those are emotional sentences.

You are still caught up on your ex and are applying all that stuff that happened to this scenario.

 

should i wait?

is it okay?

say i'm sorry?