girls please help do i have a chance

[keeza333]

hello everyone thanx for taking the time to read this . well i guess i should start by saying im 26 now and my ex gf is 24 . we've been together for 8 whole years off and on with a 4 year old son . during that 8 years both of us have been horrible to each other at times she and i both can be irresponsible . she can be verbally abusive . and i myself needed to grow up and i'm finally starting to grow up now . i didnt spend enough time with her i would'nt work enough hours at work to have any money to spend and was just a looser off and on . well about 2 months ago my gf started going out with her friends or so she says and wouldnt come home at all not till like 7 or later in the morning . for a few days i trusted it was ok i thought that she was doing what she said then i talked to her about it and then she told me that she wanted some time alone a little bit of space . hearing that crushed me knowing that she had never broken up with me and also knowing that i tried to tell her that i would change and it didnt seem to matter . then a few weeks ago she started driving her bosses car around while i was still living with her she said that they were only friends . so like a moron i believed her and just recently i moved out and finally about a week ago she admited to seeing him . she still says that she loves me and is still in love with me but then she still wont break up with him . and also since then i found a kickin job found god and promised her basically that i was going to spend the rest of my life trying to be the man she always wanted me to be not just for her but for myself and our son. still she tells me that she's not sure she's ready to be with me yet . sometimes i see her and she kisses and hugs me but she still won't take me back . she said today that she was going to tell her boss that she needs time and space also and was going to give him his car back but i'm not sure if i believe her. she says that she isnt sleeping with him but she stays the night at his house all the time . i almost kinda believe her . and i almost kinda think that she's only making him think that she likes him for the money cause he's rich . he used to be a pro football player for the falcons . and now that he's not he's still rich has like 5 nice cars , nice house , and both his parents are lawyers . but he's overwieght and kinda ugly . lol and i look good . just dont have that money . that and i told someone at her work about what was going on and he told on them and now she wants me to call there superviser so he doesnt get fired . well my question is do i stand a chance of getting her back ? she does say that she thinks that we'll be together soon and also has promised that we'll be back together . let me know please do you think i can get her back .

[medtranusa]

I'm sorry to hear about your breakup but I think you need to get on with your life even if you are just going through the motions. I doubt she is not sleeping with him and as long as you are just waiting for her to come back she will take her time. Let her think you are moving on and she will get busy on coming back. You both might want to consider counseling because it takes 2 to have problems. It's too easy to get back in a routine that doesn't work unless you both work on it. Good luck to you! I'm sure you will get her back.

[raggamuffin]

Hello,

Im sorry to hear about your situation and I'm just going to tell you what I think is going on and what you should do from a girls perspective. Ok I would say that this girl is using you. I also think that she is probably sleeping with her boss, otherwise why would he not give all the other employees cars to use?? She is just using you incase it doesnt work out with her boss by the sounds of it. You will always have to be a part of this ladies life because you have a child together and he needs a dad. I would say that her going out and not coming back till 7 or so in the morning it should be her growing up not you. I would say move on and look after your son. All the best. R.

[holeinmysoul33]

Since you do have a son, the most important thing to think about is him. If he's seeing the two of you fighting all the time, you shouldn't be together. Really, for both of you your focus should be your son because you both brought him into this world. Being a parent means not having a life other than your child. your duty is to raise that child to be the best addition to society that it can be. So I'm not so sure you should be concerned with whether or not she will come back. I don't think she will, and if she does it wont be happy for either of you for long. Your relationship seems forever tortured. So what I'm saying is look after your son first, then when you do have time to yourself, go out and meet new women. Don't wait for her to come back.

[bzborow1]

Listen 100% to what raggamuffin has said, because IMO she's hit the nail right on the head here. Women love to have back up plans because it then makes it easier for her to go off and cheat. She's using you no doubt.

 

You also have to accept some responsibility in this! You need to stand up for yourself. If you don't approve, tell her so. If she doesn't like it, then you can move out and end it for good. Keep in mind here man that she told you she's not going to stop sleeping with him, even though she "loves" you. That is COMPLETE BS! If she loves you (action) the way she says (words) then she would have dropped him right there and tried to work it out. She's basically got to beg for you back because what she did is inexcusable...and based on her actions she's not even remorseful.

 

This may seem harsh, but I believe the best thing for you and your child is for you to move out. There is obviously tension between the two of you which the child will pick up on, it's obvious you are living in pain which the child will see, and most of all it's obvious she's decided you are not near the top of her list...THIS IS NOT THE ENVIRONMENT FOR A CHILD TO BE RAISED IN.

 

If it was me I'd give myself more respect than to be used. She's probably talking to you as though this is her choice to make. No it's not. Either it stops or i'm taking the kid with me....PERIOD. If you don't stand your ground you will continue to be apart of a relationship that's harming your child, and moreover you're going to be living in fear of her the rest of your life..."if i'm not making enough money will she cheat on me???"

 

Plz man...you need to get away from this girl...you deserve more.

 

EDIT: She's even asked you to save this guys butt. Come on you need to wake up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This girls obviously doesn't give one care in the world for your feelings...she's asking you to bail out the guy she's cheating on you with!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you try and save this guys job you are one big sucker.

 

I don't want to be mean. I just want you to understand that you deserve someone who will respect you............this woman clearly is incapable of that and I put you above her because of that.......don't don't don't!!!!

[keeza333]

hey everyone thanx for the feedback . your all right as much as it hurts and as much as i believe that i still could have a chance . i don't deserve this even though i have acted like an idiot at times trying to get her back crying and everything else i think that i've done about everything that i can do . your right it is time to move on . i got alot of things going for me . im a hell of a good lookin guy im not shy around women i can out pimp a guy thats twice as rich and twice as good looking as myself . im really funny kind smarter than almost anyone i know and just an all around good guy . so what if i cant have her the only thing that i probably wont be able to replace is the craziest sex in the world (which maybe if i'm lucky i can have with her someday lol) and the verbal abuse . im gonna ask her tomorrow to quit her job and drop off his 30k dollar car and write him a letter telling him goodbye and if she doesnt do it then im gone . oh yea im gonna try to get custody for or son till she can prove to be more responsible . she takes pain pills and drinks and gets so messed up that she can't stay awake to watch him . now that im not at the house anymore it looks like a dump garbage has filled that place . my son just broke his arm the other day too . im sure that she wasnt watching him . then im gonna spen the rest of my life making her jealous of me by becoming more rich than she could ever imagine . im gonna work out till i got a great body (im kinda skinny right now) . and then im gonna learn how to make my next love the happiest most exciting relationship of all time . i guess its a good thing i didnt marry her . thnx again guys

[bzborow1]

You are making and very tough and correct decision to move on. The only thing I would suggest is not, "if i'm lucky she'll sex me"....i think that's the wrong attitude. You should be saying to yourself, "if she's lucky and cleans up her act I MAY let her back into my life"....i just think you are not giving yourself enough credit.......you even went as far as to say you KNOW you have other options!!!!!!!! Act like you have other options around her, stand up for yourself, and IF she does everything right you should "consider" letting her back...

[keeza333]

it doesnt feel like its gonna be that hard though im sure that the hard part is going to be sticking to what i say and believe . i'm hoping for the best and prepairing for the worst . i just got done making a song for her its a lil corney but i like it . that and burnt her a cd with a letter in it . well thnx again for the advice and feedback .

 

 

jimi

ps i know that she can't stand the idea of me being with someone else . she goes crazy even if i just go to a friends house even if its not one of my friends that are dogs . so i think that i may have a chance if she believes that i'm going to stick to it .