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Should I be concerned???


Tigger6145

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I recently starting dating this guy - we are not exclusive. We have been on a few dates over the past month.

 

Well, on New Years Eve he was out of town with family and I was at a party with some of our mutual friends. At midnight one of my girlfriends (we will call her S) sent out text messages to all of our friends saying Happy New Year and he responded to her with "You too hot stuff". Well, S showed me the text message because she thought it was weird that he sent her that. I laughed and said he is probably drunk (which he was).

 

I sent him a text message about 5 minutes later wishing him a happy new year and he responded a few hours later to me.

 

Anyway, he got home from his trip and we were out to dinner when he all of a sudden was like..."Did S show you the text that I sent her?" and I said yes and told him that I laughed when I read it and figured he was drunk.

 

This is where the story gets weird. He said "Yeah, I got a message from you and her at the same time and I thought I was sending that to you". BUT, I didn't text him until after she already got that text message. I didn't say anything to him right then because I didn't want to call him a liar (and with him being drunk who knows what he was doing with his phone....he might have seen a text from earlier that night from me and got his brain wires crossed

 

I need everyone else's opinion because my first thought is that he got a text from S and another girl and he was trying to cover his tracks (which is fine since we are not exclusive - it is the lying that I have a problem with). I just don't understand why he even brought it up if he was going to lie about something so stupid. I had actually forgotten about it until he mentioned it.

 

Am I right in thinking that he might not be truthful in his story or should I chaulk it up to a drunken New Year's Eve thing? I mean why lie about something so stupid when I didn't even bring it up?

 

**Also, I have been cheated on before by a past boyfriend and so now I have trust issues with all men (something that I am working on) - this is why I am asking strangers instead of allowing myself to go crazy over something that is really nothing.

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well, i don't know what was going on with the texting - if he texted you and it took a few hours to get through to you, or if he's telling the truth or what.... but you know already that you two aren't exclusive, so i think that's all the info you need to know right now.

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I would want to know if the person I was casually seeing was a liar. If it were me, after he said "I thought I was sending it to you because I got texts from both of you at the same time" I would have responded non-accusatorily with "no, I didn't send you a text until after you sent that text to my friend". Just to see what he says next. If he truly was confused about who he was texting it won't matter much. If he was trying to tell you a little lie to cover his drunken actions, then that would tell him you will call him out on it.

 

I would bet his inhibitions were low when he was drunk & he meant to send that text to who he sent it to. Then later realized that probably was not a good idea. Otherwise he would have sent her another text saying "sorry, that was meant for ****, not you". I think he's just covering himself. How big of a deal this is going to be is up to you.

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Alli - I wish I would have thought about that at the time. I guess there is nothing I can say now to him without it sounding like I am accusing him of something. I guess I will just have to let it go and see if it happens again?

 

Yeah it's a little too late to bring it up casually after it's already been discussed. Does it seem like he is attracted to your friend? If not, I wouldn't worry much about it. He probably just wasn't thinking about whether or not it was inappropriate & that you were probably standing right there with your friend.

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Well if I were you I'd probably give him the benefit of the doubt.

 

I've done something similar in the past while I was intoxicated so I'm pretty sure these things can happen!

 

I've sent out texts in the past to someone that was actually meant for another person, and I was sober! lol.

 

Maybe he didn't even realize that he had mix up the text messages until the next day, that has happened to me before too! I usually check my phone the next day after a night of drinking to make sure that I didn't send out any inappropriate texts

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