My wife isn't attracted to me anymore

[spinstermanquee]

Sometimes women don't find the stay at home dad thing to be a turn on when they are in high powered positions. Seen that happen a few times before. May not be the case here - just passing on experience.

 

Man. I was at a high-powered corporate event recently and a guy at the podium stated he was a stay at home dad. He got a standing ovation from every woman in the audience. > Too bad the main woman in your life isn't giving you that honor. It's such a tough job and deserving of respect whether a man or a woman is doing it...

[Lamprey]

Sounds like you two may split up in the end. But look on the bright side: having stayed home so she could work on her career, and her being a MD now, a divorce judge will make her pay child support and alimony. In the meantime, use some of the time you have at home to start getting yourself into shape - that way it'll be easier to meet someone new once the divorce is finalized.

 

You said she's 7 years older than you - think of how pissed she'll be when she sees you with someone 10 years younger than her while she has to pay you alimony!

[AutumnBorn]

Tensox, I've got to tell you what really turns a woman off, not in any particular order, but these are on just about every woman's list:

 

1. An emasculated man. (Think James Bond, then knock it down a notch or two.)

2. An unintelligent man.

3. A man who has no interests of his own.

4. A man who's too sensitive, whiny, or needy. (And if he ever whines for sex - forget about it. All respect is lost.)

5. A man who doesn't know how to dress.

6. A man who doesn't take care of himself - exercises, eats right, etc.

7. A man who who is not respected in some capacity by others.

8. A man who is too dependant.

9. A man who is doesn't do anything new in bed...tickling, feathers, licking, massaging, spanking, hair pulling, cupping a part of our anatomy besides our breasts...try something other than the same old thing every single time. It can get so unbelievably dull.

10. A man who clings and takes up all the oxygen in the room.

 

Ask yourself what you're doing or not doing that may be turning her off and make some changes.

[frustrated_dad]

So sorry to hear. Living almost exact same except she's an RN.

 

Did you work it out? I hope so for your sake and my hope.

[amsterdam]

I think you should stay committed to your marriage but at the same time start focusing on yourself. I would get yourself in counselling as soon as possible, and hopefully she will go too. I would find a counsellor who is pro-marriage and would only discuss divorce as a last resort. You could start here:

 

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I think the best thing you can do is just become completely inwardly focused. I know it's hard but try to focus on your reaction to things, and only on things you can change (clearly you can't change other people). That has been something that has helped me.

 

I think divorce is incredibly harmful to children and you should put all your energy and all your efforts into trying to have a happy marriage. Of course this is only possible if your wife is willing to work on it too, but if she's not then it's my opinion that you should try to live with it and keep going to counselling by yourself.

 

I'm sure it's very difficult. My husband was a stay at home dad for a while and I know it is incredibly isolating. It's bad enough for stay at home moms, that is one tough job. But then to be a man and to have an extremely small social network makes it exponentially tougher.

 

You sould like a decent guy, and of course you don't deserve all this. But I really believe that there are abundant blessings for keeping your vows and I hope things get better soon.