Think he is trying to string me along

[bebeblondie]

I've posted about this guy before but here it goes....

 

Met this guy over the summer...met up couple of times...we frequent the same place so even when we sort of stopped talking we would bump into each other, at first he would try and talk to me and I would brush him off and then eventually I gave in. Eventually I stopped going to this place as often (rarely go now) for two reasons 1)whenever he is there we stay together the whole night but nothing ever comes out of it (we just make out, have not slept with him for those of you who are curious). 2)reason #1 prevents me from meeting somebody else there. Anyway back in the beginning of December he started texting me every Saturday night asking me where i am asking me to come there and how he hopes to see me there. Every Saturday I have told him I can't make it and usually he just says ok and acts cool about it...this passed Saturday again I told him couldn't make it and he basically said the night is still young and if you really want to you can make it ...i just said I can't and that was it.

 

Now I understand this guy is obviously not interested in anything serious (I realize this from his lifestyle). I want to believe he is texting me cause he really likes me but I'm smarter than that and I think it's more out of boredom. However, we have not slept together and we've known each other for practically half a year so why is he still contacting me? Since with him my attitude is more out of sight out of mind...I would sort of prefer him no to contact me cause I feel as though he stringing me along.

[Scorpion Fury]

Does he try to go home with you at the end of the night?

 

I just don't think he's really that into you. If he was, he'd contact you and try to hang out with you besides every Saturday night at that club

[bebeblondie]

I agree...no he does not try to go home with me.

[Scorpion Fury]

Weird. Seems like he just sees you as that girl I hang out with and kiss on Saturday nights.

 

I'm curious about what he would do if you texted him and asked him to do something else on a different night of the week. You would have your answer right there....

[Scorpion Fury]

how often does he contact you and what does he usually say?

[bebeblondie]

He just texts me on Saturday night (so far every sat night in December except one wknd when he was away). He usually says something like "headed to .... hope to see you there" and when i say "can't make it" he'll say something like "not the same here withou you".

 

When we first started talking in the summer he asked me out a couple of times but (one of them being a concert) but I had a legtimate excuses and could not make it which i had told him and I'm sure he believed me. We did meet up a couple of times though...and then one weekend he texted something like he knew that I wanted something a bit more serious be he couldn't give that until summer was over (by the way never mentioned anything about getting serious or even dating)....so I never replied and that's when i was brushing him off when we would bump into each other.

[amipushy]

He is a like a dog in a manger, in that he doesnt want you but he can't bear the thought of someone else making you happy so he sits in your life like a barrier to you meeting someone else. And Saturday night is when you are most likely to meet someone new and go home with them.

Cut the invisible cord between you and don't reply to his messages anymore, he will move on faster than you care to imagine.

[Scorpion Fury]

Well...summer's over.

 

I would say you were just a booty call if you were going home with him every Saturday, but you have never slept together, so that makes it different. Maybe he stopped asking you to hang out other places because you were blowing him off. He doesn't even TRY to get you to go home with him, ever?

 

Maybe suggest hanging out sometime on a different day of the week, different place, etc., see where that gets you...

[bebeblondie]

I find it odd too, but no he has never tried to go home with me and never asked that I go home with him. He is usually there with a friend who comes into the city with him and they also leave together...I think it has a lot to do with the fact that he doesnt want to make his buddy go home alone in the middle of the night.

[D_Lish]

Because you've 'made out', he might be thinking and hoping it will lead to more, hence inviting you out.

 

If I wasn't good enough that a guy would want to devote more of his time to me, I wouldn't be just his Saturday night fling either. I'd tell him you were busy and that you were going out with your new bf.

[amipushy]

If he has your number he could call you any time or any day of the week for a date, but he doesn't? Now that's what I call odd.

[Honey Pumpkin]

Ask him out; ask if he fancies going to the cinema and a coffee or something. Live dangerously - see if you have any zing between you in the day!

[savignon]

It sounds to me like he has a girlfriend (maybe that he thought he'd be rid of by the end of summer) and that Saturdays are his 'night out' so that's when he's free to call you and he actually has to go home (to his girlfriend) so he can't invite you over or go to your place.

?????

Just guessing

[bebeblondie]

That was my first instinct in the summer too....but then found out for a fact that he does not have a gf

[bebeblondie]

Well just a little update...

 

For those of you who said booty call....you were right. He texted me last night "happy new year" when new year's was 3 days ago...i said same to you...he again asked where i was....i said home....he asked what's the closest train he could take to my house....i said it's not happening...he apologized.

 

And that was the nail in the coffin for me! If he ever texts me again i will tell him stop texting me...cause we are looking for different things.

[oh my god... ho]

Why don't you just ask him straight out? The only way to find out for sure what his intentions are is to ask. It may feel embarrassing but at least you'll know the answer and not have to waste anymore time.

 

Say something like, "Hey, I've been noticing you texting me a lot all of a sudden which gives me the impression that you're interested in me. Right now I'm just interested in dating and it's cool if you're not, but if that's the case then please stop messaging me."

[bebeblondie]

Well, after a couple of more saturdays of me brushing off his late night texts...I was feeling a bit down Saturday night and texted him, asking if he was in the city...he said he wasn't in the city but asked if maybe he could take me out to dinner and a movie this week (needless to say I was shocked). I said I'll believe it when i see it. So we'll see...but unfortunately I have this feeling like it's not gonna happen