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Does he like me? Is he gay/bi?


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There is this guy that I'm really into, but I don't know if he feels the same way, I don't even know if he's gay/bi. I'm gonna back up a year for this to make more sense.This guy (we'll call him B) and I were not really friends at that point. Suddenly, he started saying "hi" to me, then he would start walking with me in the school hallway, and wrap his arm around my shoulder. He would jump on me and start to wresle with me, smile, and walk away. He would give me high-fives constantly. He would defend me when some one said something rude, and he would make sure no one said anything mean to me. Things were going very well, until the school year ended, I tried to make a connection with him, but I couldn't. So, luckly, my friend invited me to go swimming with her and a bunch of other people, and "B" was there! But, I don't enjoy swimming so I just watched. So, "B" talked to me a bunch of times, getting unusually close to me, well unusually close for a guy. And then it was over. I didn't see him until summer vacation was over, I thought things between us would still be good, but I was wrong. He seamed mad at me, and I didn't really know why, he avoided me, and didn't want to be near me. I was starting to regret me liking him, but then he started to be kinder to me. I was once picking something up, he comes out of the door behind me, pats me on the head, gives me a thumbs up and smiles (What is that supposed to mean?). We were once outside, and he just randomly comes up to me and hugs me, really tightly. It was so tight I could feel is heart beat! And then we went to a party together, we were playing "Truth or Dare", once he got truth, and was asked "If you were gay and you had to go out with one of the guys in this room, who would it be?", now there were five guys in the room (including me and him), and two of them were his best friends. He picked me. And he wasn't joking. But the confusing part is, at the same party, I found out he had a girlfriend (who he didn't like and was going to break-up with her latter that night), and he called another girl we know "hot". And now the most recent, he's been trying to make me laugh, he's poked me for fun, tried to tickle me, and yesterday he was walking out of the room and I was walking to another side of the classroom, he stood infront of me, desks on both sides of us, and we locked eyes for atleast 10 sec., he intentionaly blocked me from going around him, and then he just went walking away, and earlier that day we had made long eyecontact. When he looks at me it seems like he is trying to say something without saying it. What do I do? I don't know if he likes me, if he wants to be friends, if he's gay/bi, I'm so confused!

 

 

Sorry this is sooo long, but I had to get it all out!

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yesterday he was walking out of the room and I was walking to another side of the classroom, he stood infront of me, desks on both sides of us, and we locked eyes for atleast 10 sec., he intentionaly blocked me from going around him, and then he just went walking away, and earlier that day we had made long eyecontact. When he looks at me it seems like he is trying to say something without saying it.

 

if he does that again ask, without sounding challenging, "What's up?" just casually, see if that leads to anything. Not the greatest of advice but it's better than standing there doing nothing. He might bear his soul. Preferably do it alone, assuming he stares at you when you're both alone.

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Some words of wisdom for ya

 

Write him a note saying 'If your into me, Man up to it and meet me at ********* for a coffee and we can discuss things there'

 

I know its taking a bit of a chance and he may not end up not showing... but it worked for me

*he even ended up paying for my coffee!

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I would do that if I had a better idea of how he feels about me. I mean, I don't know if I'm reading his signs right, or wrong! I'm not even really sure about his opinion about Homosexuallity. I want to sort-of drop small hints, not obvious ones, just to let him know there is some interest.

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Hi unusual,

 

First of all, don't leave a note... that's kind of creepy.

 

My concern is that it's possible that you are looking for signs of him liking you because you like him. It's possible that he's a straight guy and just likes you as a friend.

 

Do you mind if I ask how old you guys are? Are you in high school?

 

As an experiment, try talking to him about gay marriage or something (bring up the California situation) and see how he reacts, or ask him what he would think if one of his friends was gay.

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  • 1 month later...

You guys have no idea how hard it is to get this dude alone. You don't know how hard it is to get me alone. Getting us alone is almost impossible. I figured this. So, during Christmas vacation, I was trying to get together with my friends, and have B be apart of it. Of course, that didn't really workout, seeing as some of my friends can be idiots and don't know how to make/keep plans. So, when we get back to school, things are okay, but he hasn't come on too strong, with anything. In the start of January, he would say a couple of random things to me, but not too often. I was seriously considering telling him. I talked to my friend about it, who is the only one that knows I'm gay, she advised me not to tell him. Of course, trusting her, I waited, and I think I'm glad I did. He just started dating this girl, Emily. I've grown to hate her.

 

This Emily girl has a reputation of being a bit. . . . Whorish. She's also INCREADIBLY annoying and a year younger than B and I. Now, I was curious about what's goin' on. Did he want to be just friends with me? Was I wrong? I watched what they did (not in a stalkish way, just when they where around I paid extra attention to their actions and what they ment), and it was strange. Like at lunch, there wasn't room for her at the table for her to sit, most guys would move down, make some one to move down, or leave the table to be with her. He did none of these things. I just looked at her and said, "Are you just gonna stand there?". She eventually pushed some of us down so she could sit accross from him (now she gets to the lunch table first and he sits next to her). At first, she didn't really want to talk to him, or touch him, and he didn't touch, or talk, to her either. Now they walk down the halls together holding hands. The first time I saw them, B was not even looking at her, but talking to his friends, and she was talking to hers. Then she would come to our class rooms at the end of the day to hug him. She always comes, he doesn't. I got mad at myself for letting myself fall for a guy that was straight. Then once I saw something that was a little strange. The lights in the class room were all off and he and I were the last ones in the room (it was the end of the day and everyone was leaving), I was on one side of the room and he was on the other, near the door. I saw him going over to hug Emily, I did he best I could to make sure he didn't see me watching me, and he looked at me, with a sad expression in his eyes. It looked like he was check to see if I was looking at him (you can always spot that look). He then went and hugged her. I've been talking to my friend, and she thinks that he is either Bi, Gay, or confused, and that, due to her reputation, that he might not really like her and trying to get something out of her, like seeing if he could like girl. Whatever. It seems that when he has a girlfriend, he likes me less, and when he doesn't he likes me more. This is what I've been thinking for a while now. The other day he was trying to get my attention about four times in a class of ours. I've seen him looking at me a couple of times (at least it looked like he was looking at me), but not all the time. Then, at one point, he came up to my friend and I (she doesn't know I'm gay), and she doesn't really like him, and there was really no reason for him to come up to us, which made it strange. And, let me tell you, my friend is a little strange (but I'm no exception). So, she said some weird things, and he and I just looked at eachother like, "What is she on?". So she walks away, and he starts to talk to me about something he did with a couple of his friends the other day. It wasn't important or anything, and it seemed like an excuse to talk to me (even a bit of a sad attempt), and when it looked like I expected more from the story, he was obviously trying harder to make it more entertaining (which he did successfully). I said goodbye. And today, I was talking to the same friend, at the same time of day, and he called my name to show me a picture he drew on a project. I was just like, "That is absolutely amazing." And then we both became jealous of a picture a girl drew on her project that was just about perfect. This situation was similar to the previous one. I'm confused. I'm really into him, but what is going on is hurting me. What do I do about this? How does he feel about me?

 

Again, sorry this is so long.

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Well, it sounds like by now you and B are at least pretty good friends. Here's a first step: just ask him, "Dude, do you really like her?" I think if he likes you, or even if he just trusts you - which he seems to - then he'd tell you if his heart wasn't really in the relationship he's in. That can be a way to get a little more information.

 

And even if he tries to cover and say he's into it, it would be easy to tell if he was lying.

 

Good luck. I'm in a similarly confusing situation - it sucks not knowing where they stand, doesn't it? ](*,)

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This Emily girl has a reputation of being a bit. . . . Whorish. She's also INCREADIBLY annoying

 

charming

And, let me tell you, my friend is a little strange (but I'm no exception). So, she said some weird things, and he and I just looked at eachother like, "What is she on?". So she walks away

 

is that how you treat your friends?

 

I know this is a thread about whether this guy is into you, and in my opinion, it sounds like he might be, not that I'd know.

 

All I'm going to say is that the sooner you come out, the sooner he's going to know it's safe to hit on you more blatantly and the sooner you can stop substituting "I like guys" with "I hate girls."

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Okay, so this has been a really sucky week. I haven't been able to talk him that much. I've been really buggin' out and getting annoyed that nothing is happening. I know I'm being impatient, and that if I want to something to happen, I have to make it happen, but something is wrong. I'm feeling really frustrated about this. And with B's girlfriend, Emily. . . . I am actually scared that she might physically hurt him. I have found out that she has a history of getting into small fights, yelling, and recently she threatened to break my friends knee because she wasn't doing what she wanted to.

I'm thinking about telling him that she isn't good enough for him, which she isn't, and that because of her people are starting to think less of him, which they are. And I'm not trying to make him want me, he will decide that for himself, I want him to know that he's making a mistake where some one will get hurt (physically and/or emotionally). I know I shouldn't meddle into his life when I have to right to do so, I just want to know that he's happy, even if that means me not being apart of his life. I'm thinking about telling him how I feel, because if I don't I know that I'll regret this, and if I don't, I'll never know how he feels about me. I have no idea what to do about his, it's like I've jumped into a hole I can't get out of. Anybody have a stool or something I could use (mean: advise)?

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I'm thinking about telling him that she isn't good enough for him, which she isn't, and that because of her people are starting to think less of him, which they are. And I'm not trying to make him want me, he will decide that for himself, I want him to know that he's making a mistake where some one will get hurt (physically and/or emotionally). I know I shouldn't meddle into his life when I have to right to do so, I just want to know that he's happy, even if that means me not being apart of his life.

 

That's way out of line. Because you have a crush on him you'll be predisposed to see all his lovers in the worst possible light. If people are thinking so horribly of him, they should tell him.

 

From what you've given us online, I don't see any signs that he's gay, but obviously we don't know him in real life so it's hard to say. This is clearly eating at you, so I think you need to find out whether he's gay or not asap. If you find out he's gay or bi, you can try to steal him away from his girlfriend at that point, not before. But I think you need to be prepared for the possibility that he's a straight guy.

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I know it seems like I have just picked the bad things about her to post, but all I've ever heard or seen of her is bad things. She's always hurting people, and yelling at people. And I've heard people tell him that he's being rediculous for going out with her. And, I understand that he could be straight. I expect him to be. But (here I go again). A bunch of us would be talking in our little circle and today my friend asks him, "Are you into guys?". There was no comment. And he's actually been asked that several times (more offten than I am asked, which is a little strange), and I can't remember a time of him saying, "No." But, I really can't be just like: That proves it! He's gay!

And I can't just be like, "Hey, dude. Are you gay, by any chanse?" But, asking him is the only way to find out. And even if I didn't feel the way I feel about him now, I'd still be scared that Emily will hurt him.

 

(I know recent posts have come off a bit edgy, but I'm REALLY frustrated with myself!)

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You're not in a position to make an unbiased judgment about the girl because you have a crush on the guy. Even if he were dating a saint she would still look like a * * * * * to you because you have a crush on him.

 

I'm not saying that what you're saying about the girl isn't true. I am saying that it is very bad karma, and not smart, to mess in someone else's relationships when you have an interest in them.

 

I would say to try and quit worrying about the girl and just focus on finding out whether or not he is gay.

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Who said I was trying to ruin his relationship with Emily, or mess it up? I just sit back and watch as they do their thing. I don't hate her because she's going out with B. I didn't like her before they were dating, because of the whole violents thing, and such other things she has done. I've learned to tolerate her, though. And now I'm seeing less of her, like she doesn't come to hug him after class (or not that I have seen, but I have classes with him all the time so I would have seen them), I haven't seen them hold hands as much, but he still sits with her at lunch.

Today has been a good day, though. B said, "hi" to me a couple of times and patted my shoulder, he also patted my head (he does that alot!), and a one point put his arm over my shoulder while he was waiting for me to give him a poster he needed to look at (Note taking!). I know these seem small, but it's one of those "You had to be there", things.

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ok dude, i went through this same thing with a guy i worked with, i was sure he was hitting on me and i was sure he was with his gf because his parents are freaks (that's true). anyway i reasoned and lied to myself into thinking that he was perfect, everything that i was looking for and that if we started dating everything would be perfect. as for his gf, who we worked with also, i found out they were dating but we were already friends and she slowly morphed into this over-controlling, loud, annoying * * * * * that i couldn't stand. that wasn't just me though, other friends of hers noticed it too. eventually there was a huge fight where he lied to her, she lied to him, he was hitting on her best friend a lot, she started hitting on me when he was around to make him jealous *haha. after the whole thing was over i hated his gf with a passion, the girl he was hitting on was no longer friends with his gf, i never hung out with him ne more (we were like best friends). i ended up coming out to him and he didn't feel the same way and i didn't want to stop being his friend so i tricked him into thinking i was lying (that was a pretty interesting lie). Then 2 weeks later everyone got into a fight again and now we don't talk. he turned out to be one of the biggest d-bag's i've ever met, if he came over right now and asked me out i think i'd slap him (even though he's super hot). the point is i tricked myself into thinking this guy was perfect when really he turned out to be a manipulative, jealous person. so caution, i'm still getting over it 7 months later

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Who said I was trying to ruin his relationship with Emily, or mess it up? I just sit back and watch as they do their thing. I don't hate her because she's going out with B. I didn't like her before they were dating, because of the whole violents thing, and such other things she has done. I've learned to tolerate her, though. And now I'm seeing less of her, like she doesn't come to hug him after class (or not that I have seen, but I have classes with him all the time so I would have seen them), I haven't seen them hold hands as much, but he still sits with her at lunch.

 

Nobody said that. It's just the truth that it isn't your place to say anything to him regarding his relationship. Believe me, I know all too well what it's like to like someone in a relationship, and it sucks. But even if you know that it's for their own good, it's just not your place to interfere. I agree with pianoguy - try and figure out if he's gay or bi before anything else. (Matter of fact, that's some advice that's helpful to me too.)

 

Good luck man.

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Okay, well, due to some of my friends being busy or sick, we decided not to go to the movies. Oh well, we are next week, so, yay!

 

Anyway. I've decided that I must tell B soon. If I don't. . . . I don't know. But I think it's time he knows that I've been obsessing about him for almost a year. I want him to know that I care about him, even if he doesn't enjoy the thought of homosexuality. If I want something to happen, I have to make it happen and not wait on the right time. Because if I wait, I'll be waiting for nothing, when the only possible "Right Time" is made when I do it myself! If he goes out with us to the movies next week, I'm gonna find a place to tell him. I hope this is a good idea, because sometimes you can get trapped in your own mind and lose site of what could really happen and what could become of the actions.

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