dreamwarrior Posted December 16, 2008 Share Posted December 16, 2008 I mean, between me and you, I think this could be a legitimate problem. I got carded this summer to get my ears pierced... because you have to be 18 or older if you don't have an adult with you. Unbelievable. So maybe we should work on looking older? Gross. Nah, I'll stay single and young looking. When I'm smoking hot at 40 (because I look 25), all the old crows will be whining. to the OP- I think what everyone is trying to say is that... its not just you!!! men and women alike have these problems. and it seems the saner you are the harder time you have finding a date. When I was 18 and crazy- boys loved me. I'm normal now and my sanity is like repellent! haha Hey there Jennifer...BTW that is my eldest daughters name (she is 26) To be smoking hot at my age...never leave your house without lathering up your skin with the highest spf you can find...never smoke, do drugs, or drink to much (moderation), sleep well, eat more fruits and vegtables, drink lots of water, and for sureeeeeeeeeeeeeee stay as stress free as possible...that with smoking will turn you into an old crow real fast....last but not least lotsssssssssssss of exercise....people used to say my mother looked like my sister and they say the same thing to me and my daughters. Good luck..........~dream~ Link to comment
bulletproof Posted December 16, 2008 Share Posted December 16, 2008 I think your problem is that you sound a bit negative. For instance, instead of pointing out how you work with all guys so that's a dead end to meet someone, why not work on befriending as many of those guys as you can, so that you can meet their sisters, their gf/wives' friends, their own female friends, etc.? You also mention that you have no one to go to bars/clubs with. While I certainly respect your desire to avoid bars/clubs, why wouldn't you have someone to go there with? Do you have friends? Without friends, finding a date is going to be hard, because you're clearly not connecting with others that will in turn lead you to a potential date. Most importantly, I've noticed that guys who complain that woman have it easier in dating are usually the guys that don't ever have a date. The guys who do well in dating and relationships are those that are mature enough to realize that each gender faces its own challenges. Do you honestly think it's easier to sit and wait for someone to ask you out? Because it isn't. It's actually quite frustrating sometimes. Link to comment
NewPhillyGuy Posted December 16, 2008 Share Posted December 16, 2008 Good point. But what is the limit? 30 seems an awful lot older to me, but I think I may be OK with a 26 year old for example. I've been trying to date older people too, and unfortunately it didn't work out. Tried dating someone who was 30 and 35, because my age and a little younger are just too immature for me - don't want a relationship and still into the partying scene. I still think trying to date older is a good idea. The ones I tried with just had some issues, so I'm not going to rule the age out. Keep on plugging, dude! Link to comment
Ammy Posted December 16, 2008 Share Posted December 16, 2008 I can relate, I NEVER meet good dating potential and I feel like I have tried everything..... Anyway no great advice from me, just empathy! hehe Link to comment
ghost69 Posted December 16, 2008 Share Posted December 16, 2008 i hope you aren't too stressed out. that's why it's called dating and not 'meeting your match.' takes time. i meet girls all the time. usually, they aren't girls i want to take out. Link to comment
In Limbo Posted December 16, 2008 Share Posted December 16, 2008 i hope you aren't too stressed out. that's why it's called dating and not 'meeting your match.' takes time. i meet girls all the time. usually, they aren't girls i want to take out. same here..But yeah, it doesn't take long,when i am in the mood for it.. If i spot the right(read sexy) gal & she is single..i set up a date.. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted December 16, 2008 Share Posted December 16, 2008 same here..But yeah, it doesn't take long,when i am in the mood for it.. If i spot the right(read sexy) gal & she is single..i set up a date.. yep. happens instantly if you apply yourself. Link to comment
Caldus Posted December 17, 2008 Author Share Posted December 17, 2008 Maybe for you guys, but not really the case for me and lots of others. Link to comment
george237 Posted December 17, 2008 Share Posted December 17, 2008 Supprisingly this summer i got the majority of my dates in the suppermarket. It is always easy to start up a convo. Just go up and ask a question Link to comment
CaptainPlanet Posted December 17, 2008 Share Posted December 17, 2008 I swear to god that the more level-headed and stable you are in your life, the harder it is to find dates (for people around my age anyway). My stepbro is a complete trainwreck in his life and has a new girlfriend every year. My older bro is a pretty stable and mature guy himself and he also has a real difficult time finding dates. Maybe you're right, too many crazies and not enough mature folks in the pool to ever find them in the first place. I doubt you are stable. Computer programmer. We all know the stigma. You dislike bars. Everyone dislikes bars. I don't know a sane person who enjoys them. Problem is that is where you need to go to meet people. The sexy girls love to dance. The crazy men love to dance with them. What can you do ? Those are the places everyone is drawn too. Well adjusted people understand that. They go along. Have a couple of beers or whatever and play pool. When I go out I almost always drive as an excuse not to drink. If you want to meet people you've got to be sociable. Unless you can code yourself a perfect woman. Your life is going to be lonely until you learn to put yourself out there and start taking chances. Link to comment
waveseer Posted December 17, 2008 Share Posted December 17, 2008 The sexy girls love to dance. This is absolutely correct. Link to comment
Daligal83 Posted December 17, 2008 Share Posted December 17, 2008 I hate dancing....is that why I'm single? haha Link to comment
Caldus Posted December 17, 2008 Author Share Posted December 17, 2008 I doubt you are stable. Computer programmer. We all know the stigma. You dislike bars. Everyone dislikes bars. I don't know a sane person who enjoys them. Problem is that is where you need to go to meet people. The sexy girls love to dance. The crazy men love to dance with them. What can you do ? Those are the places everyone is drawn too. Well adjusted people understand that. They go along. Have a couple of beers or whatever and play pool. When I go out I almost always drive as an excuse not to drink. If you want to meet people you've got to be sociable. Unless you can code yourself a perfect woman. Your life is going to be lonely until you learn to put yourself out there and start taking chances. If they don't like the bars, then why do they go? lol. Link to comment
Clarity Posted December 17, 2008 Share Posted December 17, 2008 If they don't like the bars, then why do they go? lol. To meet people. I don't like 'em either, but that's the easiest place to go where everyone who is there, is pretty much there saying "hey, I want to meet new people!". There are girls there too who don't really enjoy the atmosphere, but are just looking to meet someone. I'm not saying it's the only option, I detest the atmosphere at most bars, but, sadly, I think it's the best way to increase your chances of meeting someone, at our age. There are other ways but, as you're experiencing, be prepared for long droughts. Link to comment
bulletproof Posted December 17, 2008 Share Posted December 17, 2008 I really disagree that bars are the best way to increase chances of meeting someone. I am not in my twenties, but if I was again, I would be doing then what I'm doing now- getting involved in activities and learning new skills. I regret not taking those opportunities when I was younger, although I always think better late than never. There are plenty of people in their twenties that are out playing music, dancing, learning skills like cooking, painting, etc., hosting potlucks, involving themselves in the community. They are not just standing in bars drinking. Which is fine if that is something a person enjoys, but for those who don't, they shouldn't feel obligated to do so just to meet a love interest. Link to comment
CaptainPlanet Posted December 17, 2008 Share Posted December 17, 2008 If they don't like the bars, then why do they go? lol. To be around other people. Maybe you could find a girl at a bar and strike up a conversation about how much you hate bars. She might even find it new and cute. Never know till you go. Link to comment
dan10 Posted December 17, 2008 Share Posted December 17, 2008 one thing i noticed is that most of you who say you are having such a hard time getting dates all have these "standards" that you need to have met. to be completely honest i havent been single for more then 2 weeks at a time in the last 2 years (thats when i started dating) its not that it is hard to find someone for you. its just hard to find someone who meets your standards. and the problem with that is that you dont know what people are like until you've actually talked with them and gotten to know them a little. the last two girls i've had relationships with i met through a friend. and to be completely honest i didnt like either of them and i thought both were ...well they werent 10's. then i started talking with them and found out that they were really nice girls and i ended up have a 6 month relationship with the first and i'm going on 8 with the second. so the first thing you need to do is throw away these "standards" that you want met. go on a date with whoever strikes a little bit of interest in you and then if you dont like them after that dont go out with them again. my grandfather gave me some really good advice about dating. he said that i may get rejected by a few girls that are really great and i want to be with, but i've got to remember that i'm rejecting every girl i dont ask out. and its true. every time i talk to a single girl and dont ask her to go out i'm basically telling her i dont want to be with her. i know i'm starting to rant but throw away your standards and go out just for the fun of dating with no expectations and it'll be easier Link to comment
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