Confused and in need of help

[Redsox2545]

The back story is posted in the healing entitled "Deeply depressed"

 

I'm struggling with no contact and it's not by choice. I want to talk with her and I really want her back in my life. I can't deal with this and I don't want to feel like this anymore. I just want to be able to talk with her and figure everything out. Hopefully she'll understand what each of us mean to each other. I'm contemplating writing a heart felt and mature letter and dropping it at her mailbox a couple of towns over. My fear is that she wont respond if she reads it. It's been a week today that I last heard from her in a text message saying that things were over and that she'd drop my stuff off at my friends but after talking with her older brother on the phone he said he'd do it and get things done that way.

 

I don't know what I should do because I fear she will not want to be with me, talk to me, or anything while I'm still in love with her.

[JohnGalt]

You need to heal, my friend. It'll get better with time. Focus on yourself and try to keep yourself busy. When you feel emotional over her, put your emotions down on paper. Get them out of your system, but continue to focus on yourself.

[Redsox2545]

I tell myself that I'll go out and go to the gym or that I'll just be mad at her but I never have that motivation to even get dressed. I really want to talk to her but like I said she wont pick up answer texts or anything. How long should I wait to try to talk to her? I just don't want her to forget about me or move on...

[NJRon]

You can't control another person, only yourself. If you are feeling so low that you can't even motivate yourself to get dressed, then you really shoudl be doing yourself a favor and looking into getting some therapy. Having someone objective, in the flesh, to talk to can be very beneficial.

[Redsox2545]

I actually did that and had a meeting scheduled for Friday which got rescheduled to tomorrow at 4pm because of the power outages here. I have literally no one here but my direct family so now I feel basically abandoned...

[NJRon]

I've felt that way before. Takes a bit of time to rebuild, but it's better to move forward and rebuild in such a way that your entire social structure isn't reliant on one or two people.

[Redsox2545]

I'm really curious as to what would be my best approach to even getting to talk with her about things with me and hopefully getting back together.

[manup7228]

Just don't talk to her. Make her ponder if she made the right choice by calling it quits. Plus, if your worried that not talking to her will make her forget you then your clearly mistaken. If anything, she will think about you more. A lot of people fear that the ex will move on when you go no contact, but in reality, it usually helps them see what they're missing. Unless you were a terrible boyfriend, no contact will be much more beneficial than you think.

 

Stay strong.

[Redsox2545]

Just don't talk to her. Make her ponder if she made the right choice by calling it quits. Plus, if your worried that not talking to her will make her forget you then your clearly mistaken. If anything, she will think about you more. A lot of people fear that the ex will move on when you go no contact, but in reality, it usually helps them see what they're missing. Unless you were a terrible boyfriend, no contact will be much more beneficial than you think.

 

Stay strong.

 

That's the part that sucks, I was the best boyfriend she ever had and I never saw this coming. It was like it just all blew up with that one fight. So should I just hold back on contacting her? I don't think she'll break the no contact seeing how she's the one who initiated it and would never answer when I tried to contact her in the past week. Your input helps me realize that that is true because that's exactly what I'm thinking and feeling while she's probably feeling that same thing; only trying to get past it. Should I ever try to talk to her? I don't even know how long to give it...