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Large gaps in teeth...

hers

By hers
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hers Experienced

hers

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When I was a kid, I had the biggest gap between my 2 front teeth, and I wore braces from 10-13 to fix it. I wore a retainer throughout high school overnight. Now, I'm 26 and the gap is coming back. I get really self-conscious about it. It's not even noticeable really, but I stare at it all the time. The 2 front teeth are barely spread apart but they definitely don't touch. I had an orthodontist consultation for more braces a few months back but he recommended I wait a while. I feel like it's so unattractive!

 

The biggest problem is that b/c I am so self-conscious about the way my teeth have always looked that I pay too much attention to others' teeth. I almost can't date a guy with bad teeth, and if he has a gap, it's even worse!

 

A guy online asked me out this week for coffee, but he has such a large gap in his teeth in his pictures--to the point where you can see straight through it! I can't see anything in his pictures except that gap. Otherwise, he's attractive.

 

I feel so shallow. Shoudl I accept this coffee meet up? He seems like a cool guy. I just don't know if I can be attracted to a guy with such a large gap in his teeth, especially when I stare at mine enough when it is.

 

I'm so shallow

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alli Collaborator

alli

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Why would your dentist recommend that you wait? One would think it would be better to start now before it gets worse!

 

As for the guy, do you think you could get past it if you really liked him otherwise? We all have our little hangups about what we couldn't compromise on. This is yours & if you can't stand it, you can't stand it. It doesn't make you a bad person.

 

What if you end up really liking him but you still can't get past it? Then you will have a problem.

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hers Experienced

hers

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shallow? how so?

 

For being unattracted to something so trivial. I dunno--at least I think it's trivial.

 

Whenever I see people on TV with large gaps in their 2 front teeth, I get so grossed out. I just stare at it. I wish I werent focusing on something like that.

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Anjali S Newbie

Anjali S

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Have you met this guy face to face before? or only just seen him in pictures? The gapness in teeth might not be as bad as you think when you see him straight up and he could turn out to be such a great guy that you could probably find that his teeth don't bother you at all! It's only a coffee after all...just go and see what happens.

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hers Experienced

hers

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Why would your dentist recommend that you wait? One would think it would be better to start now before it gets worse!

 

As for the guy, do you think you could get past it if you really liked him otherwise? We all have our little hangups about what we couldn't compromise on. This is yours & if you can't stand it, you can't stand it. It doesn't make you a bad person.

 

What if you end up really liking him but you still can't get past it? Then you will have a problem.

 

He recommended I wait because it is not a very large gap at all. He said we don't want to overcorrect it. He said my bottom teeth are the ones causing the gap by pushing up against the front top ones, but it's not major enough to warrant braces, not yet. Not unless I want to spend the $3000 to fix it. He just said I shoudl wait about 2 years and then come back again.

 

I dated a guy one time for 2.5 yeras who had very stained 2 front teeth from years of smoking and they were also very turned in, sort of forming like a V of sorts. I stared at that all the time too, even after 2 years of being with him, but I saw past it b/c I cared about him.

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alli Collaborator

alli

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I dated a guy one time for 2.5 yeras who had very stained 2 front teeth from years of smoking and they were also very turned in, sort of forming like a V of sorts. I stared at that all the time too, even after 2 years of being with him, but I saw past it b/c I cared about him.

 

Maybe you should give the new guy a shot then!

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hers Experienced

hers

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I havent met him--just emailed with him back and forth through OkCupid. He seems nice and he is attractive in the pictures he's not smiling in, but in the ones he's smiling in, the gap is so apparent--like you can see through it. I feel like such a big B for letting that be a deal breaker for me.

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hers Experienced

hers

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You shouldn't feel shallow or anything else about this.

 

But then again maybe I only say that because for me (and I know it sounds crazy) but someone has to have nice teeth for me to be attracted to them. That is one of the first things I notice on a person. So maybe I am shallow too

 

I guess it's no more shallow than liking blond hair over brown, big boobs over little, etc. Maybe we're not so shallow.

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hers Experienced

hers

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I bet you hated the gap in your teeth when you were 10 & thought it made you unattractive. So you already had that association of gap teeth= ugly. It's no wonder it's a hangup for you; it doesn't make you shallow.

 

Oh I know for sure that is where it came from. I never throught I was a pretty child till I got my braces off! By then I was 13...

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g84 Enthusiast

g84

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From what you wrote i can understand why it has turned into something you don't feel attracted to (since you've felt self conscious about it for a long time), but on the other hand maybe it's worth it to try to go around it. I know it doesn't sound easy, but since you know what it's like to have the gap, then maybe when you see someone else who has it, you can try to relate to the person more, you know what i mean?

Because this is something you guys have in common after all. But i'm not saying you have to force yourself to feel attracted to him; i guess what i'm saying is you might be able to come from a place of understanding instead of simply feeling negatively about it.

I have certain flaws that i have a hard time dealing with, and if i saw someone else with those same flaws it would probably frighten me on some level, but i think i have to work hard to go over it, because i would feel like a hypocrite in some way. I'm not calling you that, but this is probably how a part of me would feel in that situation.

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redhearts Apprentice

redhearts

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Oh I have one two. I just think it makes me unique. In my case my moms dumb dentist kept telling me I had to wait till I lost all my teeth for braces, when I went to my dads he said well actually you were suppose to get 2 pulled and braces to pull the ones stuck up there. That was suppose to happen when I was 13, if someone had done xrays. So I was 16 and I was like, ya I'm not going to wear braces for 5 years o more. So I just went with God gave me this look and I'm unique, oh well.

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jcrisph Newbie

jcrisph

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Why would your dentist recommend that you wait? One would think it would be better to start now before it gets worse!

 

As for the guy, do you think you could get past it if you really liked him otherwise? We all have our little hangups about what we couldn't compromise on. This is yours & if you can't stand it, you can't stand it. It doesn't make you a bad person.

 

What if you end up really liking him but you still can't get past it? Then you will have a problem.

 

x2 I dont understand why they told you to wait its only going to get worse or stay the same. I have small gap and i always wear my clear retainer(sp?) sometimes during the day too. I also have to permanent retainers.

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