shemo Posted December 13, 2008 Share Posted December 13, 2008 my boyfriend googled 2 girls' names. they are girls from school. should i be concerned? there's no internet history for me to look at it. Link to comment
lady00 Posted December 13, 2008 Share Posted December 13, 2008 Is that all he did? Then no. Googling people means nothing. I google people I know all the time. Link to comment
shemo Posted December 13, 2008 Author Share Posted December 13, 2008 yeah there's no contact or anything. i was just concerned bc he's never googled anyone before. and i know these girls are attractive... just made me feel a little uneasy. Link to comment
lady00 Posted December 13, 2008 Share Posted December 13, 2008 He has never googled anyone before? I don't know anyone who hasn't googled a ton of people before just out of curiosity. Anyway, I would not read into this if I were you. He's just curious. If he does anything that suggests he is going after these girls, then I would be concerned. But just googling, no. Link to comment
shemo Posted December 13, 2008 Author Share Posted December 13, 2008 yeah he's not big on the internet and all that myspace and facebook stuff. he mainly uses the internet for school and email and yanno.. porn. haha so he's never googled anyone and then i saw the names. im gonna give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he just wanted to look at pix of hot girls. he just finished his finals and has too much time on his hands. Link to comment
savignon Posted December 13, 2008 Share Posted December 13, 2008 I think googling someone is pretty mainstream. However, I've read your other threads and it doesn't sound like you trust him at all. I of course wouldn't know if that's b/c of his behavior or your own insecurities but maybe something worth examining... Link to comment
lady00 Posted December 13, 2008 Share Posted December 13, 2008 I think googling someone is pretty mainstream. However, I've read your other threads and it doesn't sound like you trust him at all. I of course wouldn't know if that's b/c of his behavior or your own insecurities but maybe something worth examining... Shemo, If you are simply untrusting for no reason, then it's only a matter of time before he gets fed up and leaves. If on the other hand he keeps doing things that would make anyone suspicious, it's only a matter of time before you end things. Either way, I think you should figure out what is going on because this is not a good pattern for a relationship. Link to comment
shemo Posted December 13, 2008 Author Share Posted December 13, 2008 You are both right. I do have trust issues. I was cheated on repeatedly by my previous boyfriend. As far as things go with me and him, I do get pretty paranoid and he did hurt me a couple of months back so i guess my insecurity and his behavior go hand in hand. I am still trying to recover from things and not blow my top for no reason. It's why i joined this forum - to talk it out with others and not blow things out of proportion. Thanks for your help, ladies. Link to comment
nutbrownhare Posted December 13, 2008 Share Posted December 13, 2008 If you're reacting to him because of things your previous boyfriend did - that's baggage, and you need to deal with it. If you're reacting to him because of things he's done in the past, apologised for, and you two had resolved - that's baggage, and you need to need to deal with it. I'm rather intrigued that you don't mind him looking at porn (unless that was a joke), but feel uneasy at him googling the names of a couple of girls. How realistic is your mistrust? Link to comment
lady00 Posted December 13, 2008 Share Posted December 13, 2008 If you are going to get THAT bent out of shape because of such a minor thing you might as well lock yourself in your room and never go outside or talk to anyone because you are just going to over think EVERYTHING You gotta lighten up Life is short you know. Where did she say that she was really bent out of shape about it? She just asked if she should be worried. Link to comment
shemo Posted December 13, 2008 Author Share Posted December 13, 2008 If you're reacting to him because of things your previous boyfriend did - that's baggage, and you need to deal with it. If you're reacting to him because of things he's done in the past, apologised for, and you two had resolved - that's baggage, and you need to need to deal with it. I'm rather intrigued that you don't mind him looking at porn (unless that was a joke), but feel uneasy at him googling the names of a couple of girls. How realistic is your mistrust? i personally don't see anything wrong with porn. i look at porn. porn is like a fantasy to me. it is highly unlikely for him to meet girls in porn. I was concerned about the googling of girls in his class because those girls are real. they are obtainable if he wanted them whereas girls in a porn video are not. Link to comment
nutbrownhare Posted December 13, 2008 Share Posted December 13, 2008 they are obtainable if he wanted them whereas girls in a porn video are not. Interesting distinction - I see what you're saying regarding the porn. What makes you think these girls are obtainable? Yes, he might know them, but do you have any evidence to suggest they fancy him, or are after him for any other reason? Link to comment
shemo Posted December 13, 2008 Author Share Posted December 13, 2008 Interesting distinction - I see what you're saying regarding the porn. What makes you think these girls are obtainable? Yes, he might know them, but do you have any evidence to suggest they fancy him, or are after him for any other reason? oh my mistake, i thought i had mentioned who these 2 girls are. they are girls in his class so that's why i was paranoid. i don't have any evidence that he is interested or that the girls are interested in him. the reason why i am concerned is because he has never googled anyone before at all. and the first names he googled were these 2 girls from school which made me think twice... Link to comment
shemo Posted December 13, 2008 Author Share Posted December 13, 2008 Interesting distinction - I see what you're saying regarding the porn. What makes you think these girls are obtainable? Yes, he might know them, but do you have any evidence to suggest they fancy him, or are after him for any other reason? oh and also i do have some trust issues from the past which is why i have my guard up. Link to comment
nutbrownhare Posted December 14, 2008 Share Posted December 14, 2008 i don't have any evidence that he is interested or that the girls are interested in him. The sentence quoted here says it all, really. Unless something actually happens, just let this one go, or you'll be torturing yourself over nothing. I am concerned that you're feeling so vulnerable, however, and it seems that you really need to work on building up your self-esteem (let yourself know how wonderful you are!) and letting go traumatic stuff from your past so that you can enjoy your current relationship more. (((HUGS))) Link to comment
shemo Posted December 14, 2008 Author Share Posted December 14, 2008 The sentence quoted here says it all, really. Unless something actually happens, just let this one go, or you'll be torturing yourself over nothing. I am concerned that you're feeling so vulnerable, however, and it seems that you really need to work on building up your self-esteem (let yourself know how wonderful you are!) and letting go traumatic stuff from your past so that you can enjoy your current relationship more. (((HUGS))) Thank you! I'm working hard to not dwell on the past, it's tough sometimes! Link to comment
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