Is it really worth it?

[dolcedolore]

I'll try to keep this short, but I tend to always have a lot to write. I'm a sophomore undergrad student with a double major in music (voice and piano) and also getting a minor in German. I'm very busy (this semester I had 19 credits), accompany a bunch of people, and have tons of various music and non-music related jobs. I've always worked hard and probably always will and I take great pride in doing so. I'm a perfectionist in many ways and for months now I've been exercising five times a week and eating healthy (although with occasional relapses as I love sweets).

 

I have a very tight-knit group of girl friends (all very good girls) from high school that will be going to the same school as me next year, and I have a bunch of acquaintances here at school. But... I don't really have any friends and I don't hang out with anyone here. Usually I'm too busy to notice that I never do anything fun (or maybe I stay busy so as to not notice?) but it's Friday, day after finals, and I'm sitting at home doing absolutely nothing. It's really hitting me hard this time. People assume that I'm such a good girl, but that's only half true. I have had my fair share of fun and craziness, drinking, etc., but it's so few and far between lately and I'm just so damn bored. I don't know exactly what advice or comments I'm looking for right now, I guess I just want to know if anyone else feels this way. I do love my alone time and my studies, but every once in awhile I just crave to actually live life. I'm not the most out-going person, but I'm not socially handicapped. I want a boyfriend! and I'm really not bad at the flirting thing, it's just that I never have any opportunities to meet people.

 

People who have worked hard throughout life, missed out on having fun, does it pay off? I mean, if I'm working this hard, there has to be someone out there who is as well, and maybe we'll meet one day and have lots of babies, right? Doubt it.

[agatha]

I don't play the piano, but am finishing my ba on int'l relations, still a year away from my degree in music (voice). i work part-time, take music classes in the afternoon, i.r. at night. on weekends i divide myself between singing, studying, and volunteering at a local ngo. know loooads of people who keep calling me to these events, just am always too busy to attend, and often enough see myself not busy at all without a single invitation for anything.

 

never thought i'd see anyone as crazy as me, but u know what? you should save every day an hour or so for you, and you only. to call a friend, to play a game, to see the grass grow. or else, you will not even have the chance to notice that special someone right besides you. advice by my boss - diplomat, pianist, married, employed and happy.

[thejigsup]

I love being busy beyond belief. I work three jobs and am working on my Masters and a Teaching Credential at the same time. I'm also a mother to my son, better half to my bf, and best friend to a few friends. I average 18-hour days, but I hate to leave anything undone in a day. I want to work, study, love, gossip, laugh, and so many other things every day! I think the older you get, the more your realize that our time on earth is limited. I want to live every day I have left. And I'm going to! I can sleep when I'm dead.

[lost1607307474]

I just completed a BA and I worked 'effing hard the whole way through - a lot of times sacrificed my social life in the exact same way just you described.

 

After my first two years at university however I realised that I was not happy. I was constantly studying or at work, or doing something uni or work related. I blew my friends off, spend many days at home alone, and didn't go out and go 'crazy' hardly ever. I was not happy with my situation and so I started to change it - I kept more in contact with my close friends, made more of an effort to see them, made more of an effort to meet new people, found a boyfriend (who I am still with!) and just let loose. I went out heaps, had fun, went a bit crazy. And by my final year of university I had learnt that I could do both - I've finished my Arts degree with a Distinction average and I still managed to have a blooming social life.

 

The answer is compromise - I found a middle ground in between the two spheres where I was happy. But I warn you that depending on your career objectives this compromise may be different to mine - if you really want to work hard to reach your ultimate aspirations, you may have to sacrifice your social life. It all depends on how you ultimately want to be living your life.

[CaptainPlanet]

You seem to be doing the right thing. Craziness will only get you into a bad place.

[waveseer]

I can sleep when I'm dead.

 

I used to say this until I had a breakdown and felt like dying. Maybe you know something I don't but eventually everybody has to sleep.

[NJRon]

I used to live to work.. now I work to live. You don't know when you are going to be taken out by a bus (or a rabid squirrel for that matter)... so it pays to not live in the future and enjoy the present.