g84 Posted December 10, 2008 Share Posted December 10, 2008 I've seen a lot of questions related to this on here, and also on other sites. I guess a lot of men and women are worried that their inexperience could be a problem for someone they are considering having a relationship with. I never used to be worried about this, but i think reading about it so much has kind of scared me a bit. What i have read is mostly reasons why a man would be 'scared' to be with a female virgin, so i guess this is the part i am asking about for now. So far, these seem to be the reasons some guys don't like it: -worry that the girl will become clingy -worry that the girl must have ''issues'' if she is still a virgin -worry that it will feel awkward and will not be fun What are the other reasons? I just wanted to add that i'm sure there are plenty of non-virgins who can be clingy/awkward/have issues! lol So, i personally don't get it. Is there something i am not understanding Link to comment
Crush85 Posted December 10, 2008 Share Posted December 10, 2008 -worry that it will feel awkward and will not be fun That would be the one that would worry me. I think it would be an awful feeling to have sex with someone and they're not enjoying it .. Link to comment
g84 Posted December 10, 2008 Author Share Posted December 10, 2008 crush85 : But what if they DO enjoy it? lol Also, with time it would get better, no? Link to comment
Comatose Posted December 10, 2008 Share Posted December 10, 2008 Normally girls always remember their first time. So I think there's more pressure on the guy (in his own mind) to perform better for that reason. Link to comment
hiphop3 Posted December 10, 2008 Share Posted December 10, 2008 also that if you are in a relationship and take the person's virginity that they will get curious about sleeping with other people and will cheat/leave Link to comment
Lionel Hutz Posted December 10, 2008 Share Posted December 10, 2008 I just don't really wanna be that guy, not at this age. I used to think differently but... Link to comment
Crush85 Posted December 10, 2008 Share Posted December 10, 2008 crush85 : But what if they DO enjoy it? lol Also, with time it would get better, no? That would be ideal but, like others have said, girls always remember their first time and it's usually not that great. I just don't want to be that guy, you know what I mean? Link to comment
Nkaleidoscopic Posted December 10, 2008 Share Posted December 10, 2008 I think the girl's expectations are way too high (basically what everyone else said) Link to comment
Crush85 Posted December 10, 2008 Share Posted December 10, 2008 EDIT*: One more question: If you find yourself really starting to care for the person and you want a serious relationship with them, would it still matter that they're inexperienced? If that's the case, it shouldn't matter than they're inexperienced. But then again, we don't live in a perfect world.. Link to comment
yeawutever Posted December 10, 2008 Share Posted December 10, 2008 Yea, we girls (well some guys too) will always remember our first. Link to comment
jennamajig Posted December 10, 2008 Share Posted December 10, 2008 I think the girl's expectations are way too high (basically what everyone else said) My expectations the first time were actually pretty low. But I have a very frank and honest (and awesome) mother. Yes, I will remember my first time. And yes, it wasn't great as far as sex goes. But it was with someone I loved and that made it a wonderful night. It got better. The right person won't care and will be patient. Link to comment
Comatose Posted December 10, 2008 Share Posted December 10, 2008 The right person won't care and will be patient. That's the most important thing your first time, epecially if both people are "newcomers". Haha, forgive me for that. Patience is a virtue, especially regarding sex. Link to comment
yeawutever Posted December 10, 2008 Share Posted December 10, 2008 Normally girls always remember their first time. So I think there's more pressure on the guy (in his own mind) to perform better for that reason. True and very hard to keep staying with your first, I guess but that would be cool Link to comment
lana111 Posted December 10, 2008 Share Posted December 10, 2008 the only reason that a virgin would be a turn off is that, aside from religious reasons, id think "what is so off/odd about this guy that he'd still be a virgin". Link to comment
yeawutever Posted December 10, 2008 Share Posted December 10, 2008 also that if you are in a relationship and take the person's virginity that they will get curious about sleeping with other people and will cheat/leave This is what is happening in my fantasies. Dunno if that's bad too. Link to comment
g84 Posted December 10, 2008 Author Share Posted December 10, 2008 Lana111: the only reason that a virgin would be a turn off is that, aside from religious reasons, id think "what is so off/odd about this guy that he'd still be a virgin." This is kind of what I don't understand though. It's possible that he just wanted to do it with someone who cares about him. I don't really understand why people would think there's something "wrong". Plus, I have met non-virgins who have plenty of emotional issues or baggage, so yeah... We all have issues. We can all be odd. I can't understand this. Link to comment
lana111 Posted December 10, 2008 Share Posted December 10, 2008 Lana111: This is kind of what I don't understand though. It's possible that he just wanted to do it with someone who cares about him. I don't really understand why people would think there's something "wrong". Plus, I have met non-virgins who have plenty of emotional issues or baggage, so yeah... We all have issues. We can all be odd. I can't understand this. i totally understand whate your saying but it just is. im not from an area where holding onto your virginity is something common, or even remotely common. it would just be so uncommon to run into a guy that wants to save himself for someone special, which is fine by me. but if i met a guy and found that out i wouldnt think "oh hes probably saving it for something special" i would first think "whats up with this guy, whats his deal that he is still a virgin". i wouldnt think less of him as a person, but id def wonder if he was a possible date. just like if i met someone who never had a "real" job. its not that that person is a bad person, ya just sorta think "whats up with him that hes never had a career". its just something that makes me wonder... and for the record virgin... not a virgin, the person can be odd either way, its just one of many things that would make me say "hmmmmmm". Link to comment
ghost69 Posted December 10, 2008 Share Posted December 10, 2008 the clingy part. i won't hook up with a girl if i know she is a virgin. they get the wrong idea of what we are immediately. they assume we are together. Link to comment
yeawutever Posted December 10, 2008 Share Posted December 10, 2008 the clingy part. i won't hook up with a girl if i know she is a virgin. they get the wrong idea of what we are immediately. they assume we are together. Yea, I guess you right about that one. See at times I start thinking of the reason why I'm still with my b/f. Yes it's love but besides that then what else. And I found these following reasons.... 1) The way he talks 2) Attraction off course 3) Bonding too 4) LOL, you already say it in your post, yes hard to just let go esp. when you remember the exact day when it happened 5) Same reason as number 4, LOL But yea, come to think of it, maybe experienced people should date their own kinds while newcomers should be with beginners as well. LOL, ghost now you would be lukcy if we ever break up and you meet me, LOL. Now since I stated my reasons about why I'm with him, I wonder what are his reasons of still being with me, why was he not turn off. Why would an experienced be yet with the beginner? Link to comment
lonely rose Posted December 10, 2008 Share Posted December 10, 2008 it doesn't take to be a virgin to become clingy after sex. i think for a guy who's very experienced it may be a turn off if he's inpatient to teach the girl what he likes. nevertheless, i had a cousin who was a player and yet he dated a few virgin girls and was in long-term relationships with them so you never know. Link to comment
mr_iwi Posted December 10, 2008 Share Posted December 10, 2008 I'd be wary if I weas with a virgin simply because I'd feel awful if her first experience was one to forget about. Enough of my friends have bad first time/first relationship stories, and I don't want to be someone else's. Link to comment
bertdru Posted December 10, 2008 Share Posted December 10, 2008 Right now I am a virgin. So I hope(and this may be hypocritical) that my first partner will be experienced. Generally women remember their first time. I don't want to be remembered(in the words of George costanza Link to comment
dirtdevil Posted December 11, 2008 Share Posted December 11, 2008 Right now I am a virgin. So I hope(and this may be hypocritical) that my first partner will be experienced. Generally women remember their first time. I don't want to be remembered(in the words of George costanza Too funny, I can relate to George so much in dating... Link to comment
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