Well it finally happened...

[vagrant]

If anyone remembers reading my past posts about how my GF and I had VERY differing libidos.. It's finally done.

 

She broke up with me over it.

 

That wasn't our only problem. She had a hard time showing me any physical affection. I would ask her to touch me... she wouldn't. Most of the time I felt like we were roomies instead of lovers.

 

I had told her I wouldn't leave her over this, that I was sure we could work something out... some kind of compromise.

 

That obviously wasn't the case. As expected as it prob is, I feel like I was the only one trying to compromise.. We went to a few counseling sessions. We talked on a regular basis about it, but in the end it got us no where. She wasn't willing to budge, and I was getting aggravated with sex once every 3 or 4 weeks.

 

I came home two weeks ago and she told me she was moving out.

 

I couldn't believe it.. I asked "why?" She told me she didn't think things were ever going to change. I asked her if she were sure and she said yes. The next day she had a lease signed elsewhere, and knowing how she is, she def wouldn't have done that otherwise.

 

Now she's gone, moved out into another smaller, cheaper apartment in this same complex. I can only assume she did that because she thought I would've refused to help her move(Which I didn't.. I helped her... Is that weird?). She expected me to hate her... yell, be mad.. etc. But I couldn't I was shocked(Which I suppose I souldn't have been), sad, and eventually numb.... I'm just not exactly sure where to go from here.

 

Friends have advised me to take a break, not get involved with anyone for a while.. but I miss sex.. I miss being with someone who obviously wants to be with me....

[thejigsup]

You are on your way to a fun, sex-filled relationship. Good for you!

[crab62]

see... that's why I think my next relationship there will be no sex involved unless I marry.

 

my exbf had issues with having sex 1x a week... which I thought was ridiculous. I was working two jobs, I had a much longer commute than he... and the fact that I didn't want to jump in bed like a horny bunny for 1hr every other night mean that I didn't love him...

 

that's crap.. and he walked out... 2 weeks ago after having what I thought was a pretty good year. We did everything together, he was.. by far... my best friend. He walked out, without discussing a thing with me... the ONLY complaint I ever heard from him was "what happened to our sex life".... and this was having sex 1x a week... that's crap... it wasn't about the sex, it was about something else he wasn't getting that he got through sex... that he couldn't communicate to me... and because I couldn't read his mind and because I couldn't figure out what he really needed... and because I couldn't screw him xxx a week... he walked out.

 

Sorry for your loss... but somehow I can relate to your exgirlfriend... if there was so much pressure for sex.

[vagrant]

Ok.. Crab62... maybe you can explain something, or just help me understand it.

 

How does sex go from something joyous, fun, and exciting to a CHORE?

 

That's what you make it sound like. That's what she made it sound like. It's not like she didn't get off every time we had sex. It's not like I wouldn't have been ok with a 10 min quickie versus an hour long encounter... She put SO many conditions on having sex.

 

At first there was alot of pressure from me to have sex. She told me it wasn't helping, so I stopped pressuring her. I stopped trying to initiate so often, and stopped asking her for sex. I went from asking for sex everyday, to waiting a few days before bringing up the subject. I asked if she wanted to try new things, she would agree.... then at the time, would refuse just wanting to hurry up and "get off."

 

When we met, we had sex 2 or 3 times a week. She was going to school full time, and working just under full time. Yet she still WANTED sex often. Over the 2 years we were together, the sex went from 2 or 3 times a week to finally 2 times in 6 weeks.

 

That wasn't enough for me... and I won't apologize for that.

 

YET, I wasn't the one that left.

 

Neither one of us was wrong... we were just too different.

 

Oh and (Not to be an ass) but, good luck on that no sex until marriage thing in your next relationship.