should I leave my son home alone?

[Oryx11]

Hi guys,

 

I would like to have your opinion on this. I am a newly single mother of an 11 year old boy. He is used to be me left alone for no longer than 1 hour at a time during the day and is good about it (doesn't answer the door, doesn't go outside, knows what to say if the phone rings, doesn't have his friends over while I'm out etc...)

Now being newly single, I lose my "sitter", and I still have to be out 2 nights a week, one night is from 7:30pm to 10pm, and another from 7pm to 10pm, and I really cannot afford a baby sitter.

I don't know if I should leave my son alone for 3 hours at night, I personally think he's a little too young for that, but I've been asking around and a lot of people tell me it's fine if he's mature enough and knows how to handle emergency situations. I do have very good neighbors that he could call or run to if anything ever happens. But I really don't know what to do. So I'm asking all you parents out there, what do you think?

[DN]

I think before you decide it is wise or not you should find out if it is legal.

[Oryx11]

Good point, I have no idea if it is...

[Mythical_Suicide]

I would not leave a child that age alone.. at night nonetheless.

If your neighbors would be willing to be on alert, why can't he sit at their house while you are out?

[HeartGoesOn]

I can certainly understand your situation, but I would not leave an 11 yr old at home by himself.

[Oryx11]

I knew that question was going to come up. I have good neighbors that I could probably count on to keep him once in a while but not 2 nights a week, and not for free...

[Oryx11]

ok thanks for your replies, at least I know it's not just me being paranoid

[girl friend]

Don't do it.

 

I remember the fear i used to feel as a small child when i was alone. How the creaks in the floor of the house would send my heart racing and me imagine my greatest fear was coming to kill me... the brave face you put on after. But the fear and loneliness at the time.

 

Don't do it. Can't you pay someone? Doesn't the father contribute to child maintenance?

[Dating Coach]

Can you afford a 16 year old babysitter for like 10 dollars or something?

[Tethryn]

I don't know what to tell you... My mother was in a Band when I was around that age, and my father would often be on call, so whenever they left they made sure I had a list of all the numbers and stuff. My mother would usually give me a choice, go to band-practice with her, or stay home, of course she would be worried. For the most part I stayed in my room and played video-games until she or dad came back, or I fell asleep. I don't know about legality's, but it has to do with your child's comfort level as well as your own. I would suggest working on responsibility, safety, and even cooking with them. The earlier you start the easier it will be I would think... In all honesty it's up to you for the most part.

[Oryx11]

that's what I'm looking at doing, the one I found was charging me $10/hour! I'll keep looking

[Oryx11]

funny that's exactly my reason, I'm in 2 bands, I have practice on Mondays with one, and on tuesdays with the other. I could probably bring him to my Monday night practice but the Tuesday night one would not work out.

[MollyElise]

Do you know any other mom's that you could maybe 'trade' time with or share a babysitter with?

 

I think you should be able to find a teen who can sit with your 11 year old for less than that, especially if it's a pre-set gig where they are welcome to do homework and such.

[laisla]

i think that is a bit late to be leaving him alone. at 11 i was too scared to stay home at night by myself.

[KG]

I think it's too young. Can you barter? Trade a service for a sitter? Perhaps a friends Mother or father, or even Grandparents will do some sitting, say for a fresh apple pie, or homemade pastries?

[Oryx11]

Normally my parents would take him, but my mom is starting chimo in a couple weeks. Anyway, I have made my decision, I will not leave him alone, maybe in a couple years but for now he's too young. I will figure out a way

[Mutley]

I wouldn't. I'd try to find another option.

[3boys]

Guess I'm in the minority here because I don't see the problem...maybe...Here are the questions my husband and I asked ourselves before we left our oldest home by himself (after we checked if it was legal-it was):

1. How far away are we going to be?

2. Was there someone (neighbor) he could call or go to in case of emergency?

3. Would he be able to contact us if he just got scared or needed to?

We also made a rule that he was to call us from his cell phone if the phone or doorbell rang.

If 1 was

[3boys]

Another option would be to "trade" nights with one of his friends. Maybe contact one of his friend's parents and see if he could go to his house on the nights you need to do something and the friend could come to yours a night or two a week or if the friend has a sibling that you could watch one night on a weekend so the parents could have a date night. The subdivision I live in does a babysitting co-op but I don't belong because most of the people who belong have girls and they would be bored as heck at my house and my boys would be bored as heck at their house...

[girl friend]

Normally my parents would take him, but my mom is starting chimo in a couple weeks. Anyway, I have made my decision, I will not leave him alone, maybe in a couple years but for now he's too young. I will figure out a way

 

Thats good.

 

I think 14 is a good age to start leaving them alone for short periods of time. Its legal for one thing.

 

But i remember all about the fear.

And how i'd be brave and pretend to my parents i wasn't afraid because i didn't want them to be upset.

 

The fear though, the image of myself huddled up trembling stays with me though.