Boyfriend doesn't want me to give head

[CrazyKarl13]

Me and my boyfriend have been going out for almost 7 months, and have been sexually active for 2 months. He's done just about everything for me, like oral and what not, and I feel that I should give back to him. We are each other's "firsts" so I've never given oral before. I'm not sure that I necessarily feel uncomfortable with it, I think it's just more of the thought that I might be bad at it, and he wont enjoy it. I mean, I've read just about every article on it, but I dont think it really prepares you, just gives you a heads up.

 

But anyway, he knows that I was a bit hesitant on it, and now he told me that he doesn't want me to give him head throughout our WHOLE relationship. I don't get it. He said he doesn't want to put any pressure on me or feel controlled that I have to do it. I mean, that's nice that he thinks like that, but I told him that I don't feel pressured, yet he still doesn't want me to do it. We fought about this for about 2 hours last night. Is it wrong for me to mad about it? I know it probably sounds silly and a stupid thing to fight over, but I feel like I need to do something for me since he does stuff for me!! And I don't know if he's just telling me that he doesn't want me to do it just to make me feel better.. or just saying that. Erg, so confused!!!!!

[EmptySoul]

hey- i understand your boyfriend not wanting to make you feel pressured. Like, my boyfriend said he didn't expect sex "unless i wanted to" and has repeatedly made sure i don't feel pressured, but after you told him you don't feel pressured he still said no? hmm... i guess just keep trying, and ask him why he doesn't want you to. Maybe he has another reason.

EmptySoul

[QTpie87]

i would sit down and talk to him about it just don't get in another fight over it. maybe he feels like even though you say you're not pressured or just doing it 'cause you feel like you have to, that you really are. that is kind of weird though, i mean if he is doing that kind of stuff to you then why wouldn't he let you? well maybe he just doesn't like the idea of that , even though that would be the first guy i ever heard that from. i mean i used to doo stuff with my ex bf and i wouldn't ever let him do that to me. well just ask him about it. good luck,

love Qtpie87

[bamster]

hey karl! Thanx for your advice on my problem! BTW I've added some more on my subject, if you'd like to check it out!

It is kinda weird for that to happen, but I remember my girlfriend was hesitant to have oral sex with me so after a bit of pressure I said it doesn't matter whenever you're ready. It came soon afterwards! Maybe you are pressuring him into doing it. I think it would be better if you just give it some time and maybe have a normal conversation with him about it. If he starts to get crancky don't continue. I'm sure it's just a weird phase and he will surely come out of it, I wouldn't worry too much about it! Maybe you can do it while he's sleeping!! I'm joking of course! Best of luck!

[bravegirl04]

Hey don' t trip. Be happy. To me thats gross anyway but if thats what u do then talk to him about it.

[john one]

Some possible reasons why he doesn't want you to do it: He doesn't like the way it feels (hard to imagine, but I've seen a couple of posts by people on here by guys who didn't like oral); he has some kind of condition or std that he doesn't want you to get from him; he doesn't want to associate you with the "bad girl" or slutty type; he is afraid of recieving oral for some type of self conscious reasons (maybe afraid you'll gross out or not like the smell and look of his you know what so..up close) or he truly doesn't want you to feel pressured.

 

I guess communication is key, but it might be hard to get the truth out of him. Try talking it out of him first, then if you feel the need, you can do something a little more aggressive such as- make your way down there while you two are in the heat of the moment. Depending on his reaction, you can take it from there. If he's a little hesistant, you can be a little more persistent and show that you really want to do it. If he freaks out, you can stop everything and demand that he tell you what the heck is going on. Good luck....

 

Gee I must admit, I'm envious of your boyfriend. I miss the days when my ex used to go out of her way to please me.

[vfunkera]

hey guys,

 

i remember having an argument with my friends about this. He'd just had head from his girl and he said it felt better then sex. My other friend agreed and then i told them that i would never let my girl give me oral. They looked and referred at me like i was some homosexual, but 'unfortunately' i just would not like to see the same girl i (used to) love to bits and treasure get down on her knees and do something that is associated and makes her look and act like a slut or prostitiute.

 

No matter how much it was for the sake of her love for me or just to please me, i'd rather not (only exception would be if she insisted she wanted to do it for her own enjoyment i wouldn't mind at all ). Save that porno-stuff for some girl who is infatuated with me at the club or something. 8)

 

Oh, i also wouldn't want to be kissing those same lips consecutively after the act!

 

Guess me and your bf are a minority breed or something.