How do you emotionally detach?

[AngryHeart]

If you really like someone beyond friendship, but it can't happen with them properly, at least not anytime soon. How do you then try not to be too attached to them and try to control the romantic feelings, but still remain friends? Is it even possible?

[renaissancewoman101]

don't spend as much time around them as before.

[BetterKarma]

It's hard to keep your friendship and try to emotionally detach.

 

Unfortunately, I think you have to stop being friends for a while until you emotionally detach first. But beware that your friendship may never be the same again afterwards either.

[renaissancewoman101]

Stuff like this makes me SOOO not want to ever let someone know I like them and want to date them. Cause if they don't feel the same, it makes it awkward to be around them.

[AngryHeart]

Oh, the thing is, he does feel the same (as far as I know) But it can't happen because he has a family! Yes, I know...he's kind of emotionally cheating and all. But, let's not focus on that part in this thread. I just need to try and get my head around that it can't happen. But we get on sooo well, and we have such a strong connection. Talking with him is amazing, but then every now and then I'll remember the reality of the situation, and realize I need to try not to get any deeper into him. It's so tough to know what to do, I'm stuck. We still spend as much time than we did before when we were admitting to liking each other, etc. But I told him I can't be his bit on the side, esp. since he admits he can't (or won't) leave him family for me. So, there's no real future as far as now is concerned, so we have these feelings that can't go anywhere real. UGH. ](*,)

 

Also, after I told him I can't be his dirty little bit on the side anymore, because I get nothing real out of it - I planned on leaving it a few days at least until we talk again. But he ended up contacting me 2 days later, asking if I had my blood results back, and saying he's always there for me to talk about the results no matter what they are, etc. So I felt I had to reply to that, because it was so sweet. And then we just carried on with the contact again...grrr.

[big greg]

I always just pretend that there is something totally repulsive about the person, and that usually kills the "romantic" side of things. The last girl, I was friends with for years and was practically in love with her... but she never liked me like that.. it sounds kind of messed up, but I pretended she had Aids and was a schitzo. We're still awesome friends, but pretending those things about her kind of help calm down my attraction to her.

[AngryHeart]

I want to remain his friend, but it's just hurting. I also feel all suspicious that he's the same with another/other women. Like maybe I'm not special like he said I was, and he just gets a buzz/ego trip out of getting attention from other women other than his girlfriend. Ugghh. After our talk it seems our relationship is suffering already. We've only really been talking stupid small-talk stuff. And I just can't really be ar**d with that...it just seems kinda forced somehow...do you know what I mean? So his last message I havent botherd replying back to. Because like I said, it was just silly flirty, but nothing kinda stuff. I don't really want to do silly, flirty, small-talk with him...I really like him, and it just seems like we're forcing talking because our relationship has been strained. This sucks.

[civilservant]

I really do think NC is your only option' here. It'll be hrs, but youre closing yourself off to others even though you know it'll never happen with him.