Kissing a complete stranger in under 12 minutes.

[Dating Coach]

uumm yes, yes there is. Pretty low tactic in my opinion. Not good advice. 'Offer girls a job then they will sleep with you'. I like to think a little higher of women.

 

There is a lot of assumptions there. Maybe he does have connections and was willing to hook her up. You don't know this. You're assuming so you have material at which to attack this guy.

 

And once again we are off topic.

 

That's the backbone of his tactic there. So, I guess it only works on women who don't have a job, or don't have a good job.

 

No it wasn't, and no it doesn't. This guy had no idea walking up to this girl that she was going to talk about that, and you do not know he was making it up. If you had high connections at a company that a girl you just met said she always wanted to work for... and you knew that your connection was hiring... wouldn't you offer her the contact?

 

And why would you say something like the only women who appreciate this are lazy women? Hell, I would love to take advantage of a connection to further my career.

[Dating Coach]

What i don't understand is why the ones who think the vid is the best thing since sliced cheese can't admit it is a gimmick and almost seem to take offense at the suggestion.

 

I never said it's the best thing since sliced bread. I am acknowledging the guys social skills and how easy he makes it look to meet someone. I want guys who are afraid of talking to girls to see it's not that hard. Some guys see this as I intended. Others just want to attack it to reinforce their own helplessness. It's so much easier to trash good social skills then learn them on your own. And I am not saying, "be this guy", I am saying learn how to approach a girl without fear and strike up an interesting conversation.

[JadedStar]

I never said it's the best thing since sliced bread. I am acknowledging the guys social skills and how easy he makes it look to meet someone. I want guys who are afraid of talking to girls to see it's not that hard. Some guys see this as I intended. Others just want to attack it to reinforce their own helplessness. It's so much easier to trash good social skills then learn them on your own. And I am not saying, "be this guy", I am saying learn how to approach a girl without fear and strike up an interesting conversation.

 

Actually that comment was more for some of the other posters on this thread. Even tho you and I do not agree on this PUA stuff, I respect your opinion and your desire to help others.

[Dating Coach]

Amen, brother. Ever since people like Mystery or Neil Strauss have come forward with their methods, people have started to think that it is the "correct" way to meet and get women.

 

I think the problem here is that you are too wrapped up in your "instant response" to things like Mystery and Strauss that you outright reject anything that tries to help you develope your social skills.

 

What is so wrong about the guy in this video? Nothing. Sure some people here are desperate enough to attack the guy by assuming he is lying about certain things and such but if that's the extent of what they can find then it's on shaky ground at best.

 

And again, I am not saying "be this guy". I want guys to be themselves. But the problem I see on these forums so much is that guys cannot be themselves around girls they just met and find attractive. They lock up, they stutter, they cannot talk or at least talk about something interesting and fun. They cannot flirt with a girl, make a move, etc. There is a lot of unrealistic fear there coming from these guys. My point was to show that these fears are unrealistic and you can easily meet women if you are willing to work at opening up and doing the leg work to overcome social inhibitions.

 

Apparently instead of focusing on that people want to find every little thing they can to attack this guy who really didn't do anything wrong. He wanted to meet the girl and he went out and did that. He boldy approached her, asked her to step to the side to make it easier to talk to her rather than do it in front of the friend (which does make it far more difficult to accomplish a successful initial chat), and then he adapted to where the conversation went to continue to talk and generate chemistry.

 

Personally, I think gaining confidence and simply practicing talking to women is all you need.

 

Well good. That's the point. I want you to realize this and practice by actively doing it.

 

I really just want to meet a nice girl to have a relationship with, and I don't need tactics to meet her.

 

I still don't get this tactics thing, but if that's all you want then get out there and do it.

 

 

I think the thing I don't like about these types of tactics is that they are meant to be practiced so well that you can pick up "any woman" when I can't imagine that "any woman" would be compatible with you for a relationship, which again contributes to the idea that these tactics are used to simply get women in bed, and move onto the next woman.

 

You are off topic. That's not what we are talking about here. You're bringing your preconceived bias into the discussion and it's distracting us from the point.

[JadedStar]

What is so wrong about the guy in this video? Nothing. Sure some people here are desperate enough to attack the guy by assuming he is lying about certain things and such but if that's the extent of what they can find then it's on shaky ground at best.

 

Diggity, you really can't see it? The guy is a shark. He comes off so fake. I would have assumed this man was trying to sell me something and gotten away from him in two minutes or less.

 

Everyone is entitled to make their contributions here so i surely won't say to anyone stop teaching this stuff to guys who are having a really tough time with women but i have to at least interject to say that I think this method is incredibly rough and fake and i think a guy who is very opposite than this in your face mentality in real life will come off looking like an idiot if they try it.

 

The most seasoned and confident of men will look like a shark behaving this way so I can only imagine the novice tryign to pull this off. I keep getting an image of a karate chop by a female to some guys neck when i think of this.

[Dating Coach]

Your assumptions about my posts are no more accurate than the other assumptions you have made about women.

 

I agree Jaded, you have offered in depth advice before. I remember seeing it. On the other hand, you too are making assumptions about anything PUA. You are right about some PUA, but you have a bias against it so strongly that anything that pops up about it is instantly viewed by you as trash. There is tons that is valuable about PUA but instead of really looking at it you dismiss it as tricks and garbage. That's just not true.

 

While you speak to the contrary, I seriously doubt that you would have told this guy in the video off and told him he was creepy. I think that in the situation is a heck of a lot different then in real life. I am not saying you would have kissed this guy or been interested in dating him, I am just saying that I wouldn't be surprised in the least if you found the conversation intriguing and fun with that guy. I'm almost certain you wouldn't have gone off on him and/or been dismissive.

[JadedStar]

No Diggity, i do not oppose all of it. I am very open minded so I do not oppose everything related to PUA. You ahve stated things here on many occasions relating to that method that I didn't disagree with. I may not have totally embraced it, but saw its value.

 

And trust me, YEA i probably would have told the guy he was creeping me out. LOL I'm not shy Diggity! Either i would have told him that or no lie given him some pointers for next time. LOL

 

I would not have gone off on him as I owuld not do that to a stranger unless they were being very rude or inappropriate. But I do give straight feedback in real life just like i do here. Surprisingly most people are open to it even tho it might be unsolicited advice. LOL

 

You would be surprised at some of the conversations I have had with people over the years. LOL And i am always polite unless given really good reason not to be.

[Dating Coach]

Diggity, you really can't see it? The guy is a shark. He comes off so fake. I would have assumed this man was trying to sell me something and gotten away from him in two minutes or less.

 

First off, before the video starts this guy explains what he is going to do and that puts you in a perspective that is analyzing it as a guy trying to pass on ways to sell himself. You aren't in the perspective of the heroine.

 

Secondly, we are ALL trying to sell ourselves, only the bitter guys try to convince themselves otherwise. Women fix up their hair, color it, wear make up, wear push up bra's, put on high heels, apply lipstick, etc. They toss their hair, flirt, smile, act cutesy, etc. When they meet a guy they are on their best behavior, showing a guy her best qualities, making herself sound really fun, outgoing, interesting, etc. She hides her bad qualities the best she can.

 

Guys do this too. Guys also try to enhance themselves, be on their best behavior, etc. The so-called "Nice Guys" do this even more. They try to be the perfect nice romantic man. They listen to her problems, they flatter her, they drop what they are doing to rush to her need if she wants something, they move in under the disguise of "just friends", they tell a girl "I'd never do that" when discussing other guys, they dis on successful men as "Jerks", they don't make moves afraid it will be too fast for her, they wait for her to make an obvious move before they act on what they really want, etc. I could go on all day the games that shy inexperienced guys play. And they do it all to not make a mistake and get her to see him as something better than other guys out there.

 

Sure this guy goes in and pulls her aside and starts a conversation where he isn't rattling on about himself and how he is interested in her, but he does get a conversation going, flirts a little, teases a little, shows strong body language and confidence, and then he goes for what he wants. It was definitely faster than I would ever go, and neither am I wanting guys to do this as well, but I really don't see what the big deal is. If I were a woman I would definitely prefer this approach to a guy representing himself as a "friend" who secretly tries to show me how great of a boyfriend he would make only to reveal months later that he has a crush on me. At least with the guy in the video I know immediately that he's interested so I know where his intentions are.

[ghost69]

i made out with some girls this weekend. within 12 minutes? no. i got more an hour later though. had nothing to do remotely close to what this guy did. i should make my own video.

[JadedStar]

Diggity, I guess I am not explaining in words accurately why i think the guy in the video is cheesy and ineffective. I have tried to explain it but your response tells me i have not done a very good job.

 

Let's just leave it at he seems like a tacky car salesman in that video and if i were the woman in quesiton i would be very very confused as to if he were picking me up or selling me a timeshare in Florida.

[DaBladeRoden]

i made out with some girls this weekend. within 12 minutes? no. i got more an hour later though. had nothing to do remotely close to what this guy did. i should make my own video.

 

Do it. Do it.

[Tethys]

I couldn't get past the Australian guy trying to hit on those girls. It was boring.

 

I give it 2 stars out of five. I need more story, perhaps a bit more emoting from the actors. Was not believable at all.

[Nutz]

LOL, sounds like someone's been reading my blog. I have no less than 3 articles on just this very topic.

[ghost69]

LOL, sounds like someone's been reading my blog. I have no less than 3 articles on just this very topic.

 

DC twin brother?

[JadedStar]

LOL, sounds like someone's been reading my blog. I have no less than 3 articles on just this very topic.

 

Diggity has been talking about these things long before you came to this forum. I am sure he could write many blogs and/or articles of his own if he has not already done so.

[Nutz]

Diggity has been talking about these things long before you came to this forum.

 

Your point? We're both in the social arts community and what we're talking about are well known classic cases.

[emalkoc]

I showed this video to my gf. And she said it is possible because the guy is good looking and she had a hot on him...so there it goes it is possible...

[Nutz]

"she had a hot on her..."

 

 

What is that supposed to say, because as written it makes no sense.

[Luke Skywalker]

No it wasn't, and no it doesn't. This guy had no idea walking up to this girl that she was going to talk about that, and you do not know he was making it up. If you had high connections at a company that a girl you just met said she always wanted to work for... and you knew that your connection was hiring... wouldn't you offer her the contact?

 

Alright, so quite allot of this pick-up has allot to do with circumstantial luck of the pick-up artist and it was basically the 'luck of the draw' that he had something economic to offer the girl to help his seduction that matched exactly what she was looking for. This seems to me like either a scripted event, or this guy was just at the right place at the right time which would make it seem more like he was lucky rather than having skill. At best it worked on THAT girl at THAT moment and there is nothing replicatable about that where people on here can really learn from.

[Mantis]

Well... okay. I kind of get what you're saying now. So let's say I make that happen. Does that mean my approach would still be very different than what he did?

[Luke Skywalker]

I really just want to meet a nice girl to have a relationship with, and I don't need tactics to meet her.

 

Did you in fact meet a nice girl to have a relationship with - without using tactics and being yourself?

 

Nobody needed these tactics before now, they still met girlfriends/wives even if it took longer for some more than others to find their confidence/approach.

 

Society was different before to now - people will say that the 50's, where men were men and women were women is different than now, where the gender roles are more blurred and women have more power. You cant be a man under the premise of supporting a woman anymore - because a woman can have, or often do have more earning power in different places than guys do, etc... Or guys are socialised into effiminate wusses and are more feminine than before, etc.... Unless we are comparing the same societies you may have a point, but we are not.

 

 

If I meet a girl and be my most confident self, and there is chemistry/attraction, it will happen. NOBODY has all the answers, and those who think they do are kidding themselves that they can explain women.

 

Being your most confident self sounds like game. How do you define that?

How do you define confident? How do you define attraction? Is it just luck of the draw, or can you make someone who is borderline attracted to you consider you?

 

My take on this is these 'game' concepts is to sway borderline girls over to you by showing confident elements of your personality, because apart from that, all you have is look and status as attraction triggers.

 

 

I think the thing I don't like about these types of tactics is that they are meant to be practiced so well that you can pick up "any woman" when I can't imagine that "any woman" would be compatible with you for a relationship, which again contributes to the idea that these tactics are used to simply get women in bed, and move onto the next woman. That is not what I'm about and it isn't what I want.

 

Lying to women is not good for a relationship. Tactics that use lying is not good.

 

If it is for some guys, then by all means, use those tactics. It seems like it would only work on the kind of girls who are ok with one-night stands and " * * * * buddies" which any classy woman would not be about. But it has become clearer to me that these types of tactics are for womanizers and players only. There may be some things to learn from them with regards to flirting and confidence, but the intended results are very conceited and demeaning to women, I think.

 

I don't know. If an alpha-male magically accesses the inner-promisciosity of a woman, then you can have a respectful, highly esteemed woman just falling for a player when someone unleashes that beasts while ignoring the other suitor as a mere friend. I suppose it's just the way respectable women are documented to behave sometimes not just loose women. In fact, I do not judge esteem loose types of women lower than normal women, I just see loose women as more honest because they are just making a more public display of what's in the mind of a normal woman and what potential they can do.

[emalkoc]

"she had a hot on her..."

 

 

What is that supposed to say, because as written it makes no sense.

 

hahaha you got me there!

[Dating Coach]

Alright, so quite allot of this pick-up has allot to do with circumstantial luck of the pick-up artist and it was basically the 'luck of the draw' that he had something economic to offer the girl to help his seduction that matched exactly what she was looking for. This seems to me like either a scripted event, or this guy was just at the right place at the right time which would make it seem more like he was lucky rather than having skill. At best it worked on THAT girl at THAT moment and there is nothing replicatable about that where people on here can really learn from.

 

The scenario I provided was a bit over the top, of course it's not based upon luck like that. I was merely giving you an example.

 

If you are a person who keeps busy and has a large social network, yeah, you probably will have the advantage of knowing people sometimes. If you do have it, use it.

 

You cannot attribute this guys success with this girl because he said he could provide her with some direction. Last I checked a girl doesn't hear that and swoon. He achieved success because he was sending her all the right signals about himself. He was confident, bold, fun to talk to, he was flirty, showed that he could blow through her "sh_t tests" (ie "I gotta go soon"), etc. All the things a shy guy would never have done.

 

A shy guy wouldn't have approached first of all. If the shy guy did he would stumble over his works and probably never get her to step aside to talk to him. He would be dismayed that there was another girl there and one bad look from either girl would have sent him scurrying. Even if by some circumstance he got passed all of that and started talking with her, the minute she threw out a "sh_t test" he would have dropped the ball by either saying "okay it was nice meeting you" or he would have tried to get her to stay thus making him look like he was trying to win her attention. I could go on.

 

This guy did so many things right that a nervous shy guy would do wrong. I don't see why we can't focus on that and instead have to nit pick every detail. The point was to show it can be done and hopefully motivate the shy nervous guy to start working towards his goals.

[Dating Coach]

Well... okay. I kind of get what you're saying now. So let's say I make that happen. Does that mean my approach would still be very different than what he did?

 

Sure it would mean that. Although I would wager a bet that if you truly shed social inhibitions and became more proficient at meeting and flirting with girls, your approach would far more resemble this guy than your current method.

[Nutz]

Alright, so quite allot of this pick-up has allot to do with circumstantial luck of the pick-up artist and it was basically the 'luck of the draw' that he had something economic to offer the girl to help his seduction that matched exactly what she was looking for. This seems to me like either a scripted event, or this guy was just at the right place at the right time which would make it seem more like he was lucky rather than having skill. At best it worked on THAT girl at THAT moment and there is nothing replicatable about that where people on here can really learn from.

 

/facepalm :shakes head:

 

What you see as luck to the trained eye is skill and social savvy. I know where you're coming from though. It's like a bunch of tribesmen seeing technology for the first time. To them it's indistinguishable from magic. Pickup skills to Joe AFC probably looks like luck and/or trickery or something along those lines because life has trained them to believe it's not possible to be successful with women. They're so beaten down by life they resign themselves to thinking when it comes to women you either they have it or your don't and that's that. This is called a "limiting belief". Most AFCs such as yourself are chock full of them. It's not your fault though, it's just the way life is due to social programming.