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Dating: does it change once you know how the sausage is made?


lady00

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Anyone feel like once you get past the stage of going out on dates (enjoying the sausage without knowing how it's made) and then going home by yourself and progress to the stage of hanging out (but going on fewer and fewer actual "dates") at each other's homes, it's kind of like you once enjoyed the sausage and now that you know how the sausage is made, it's somehow less appealing because you see all of the person's habits, how they are when they are not "on"? At the same time it's a more real, more honest version of the person? Just thinking out loud here.

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I read it that you are talking about when guys stop to the things to get you. Once they have you, they don't do the same things to keep you.

 

That's part of it. But I mean more that overall, the relationship changes. You start to see how the person really is on a day-to-day basis. Not saying that's a bad thing, but it takes some of the mystery/magic out of dating.

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I personally like to move past the dating persona as quickly as possible. People put on airs unnecessarily or even to the point of making little white lies when someone are getting to know them through dating. I don't mean that I like to go right into a situation where they don't try anymore, but that the social stress of having to impress and be on your toes all the time gets old quick.

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what's wrong with being comfortable?

 

sausage though? weird analogy.

 

I know...weird analogy...thought it would get attention though...and I think it's working It's actually a very common analogy though, and I think it fits perfectly because it's about finding out more about something that you enjoy and once you find out all of the details, you start to enjoy it less and are less intrigued by it because you know exactly what's behind it and there are some things you discover that you don't like, that you didn't know about before.

 

I think getting comfortable is fine, but if it goes too fast, it can take the magic and the mystery out of it. Being comfortable is one thing, but becoming complacent and losing the magic is quite another.

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she' s probably talking about the first 6-8 weeks of dating. Yes of course you can stop desiring his sausage if you feel like it doesnt make you hungry for more meals to come..

 

thats why it is called dating...usually those first 6-8 weeks will tell you if you feel like exploring more..

 

Usually though..you get tired of the 'sausage' sooner when you eat it too early in the process..

 

In other words..having sex too early in the process can kill the stage in a rels when you just feel like hanging out..In my eyes the little habits of a person should be cute to you in some way for it to progress..because that is him-her. when you feel annoyed or totally bored..its time to move on i guess..and when you started of with hot sex..then everything after can feel more 'boring'

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Almost all my past relationships started out with finding out how the sausage is made, because I like to know how things work before I put them in my mouth.

I have never been a fan of long periods of dating before I see how someone lives or I get to hang out with them.

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I think about the first lady who I really got comfortable with. We clicked so well. I loved it when we got past the dating stage and to a point where I learned about the real woman. I kind of wish I had married her. She wanted to, but we were too young and our life together was so chaotic that it was too hard for me to handle. I did really love her though.

 

If you are feeling this way, maybe you're with the wrong person?

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If you are feeling this way, maybe you're with the wrong person?

 

Jury's still out on that one. I'm not ready to give up just yet. This is someone I really care about and we have a good relationship. He's a good guy. We have chemistry. It's hard to explain but for example when we hug, I just feel this really strong desire not to let go. At the same time, there are times when the hanging out can get a bit too run-of-the-mill. But then the chemistry comes raging back. It ebbs and flows. I've come to the conclusion that it's way too early to tell if it's got long-term potential.

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Her dating honeymoon stage is over and now sees how incompatible they are to make it work in the long run.

 

Well, no. That's not it. As I said, the jury's still out on that. That is a possibility though, I guess.

 

I don't know about anyone else, but I've been in a bunch of short-term relationships and they have all started out sparkely, new, and full of mystery, excitement and butterflies (as did this one). I have never gotten to this stage in a relationship before. It's a totally new experience for me. Never having been in this position before, I don't know what to expect. I'm just trying to figure it all out.

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I know what you mean; the novelty wears off. That will happen eventually with any relationship. If you try to force the relationship to stay in that first "dating stage" well.. it won't really work out.

 

You start to see the person's flaws, but hey you've known all along in your head that no one is perfect. If you don't have feelings for the person once you see how it really is to be in a relationship with them, then you know that they aren't the one for you. Anyone can have a good time on a couple dates but that doesn't mean you should be exclusive.

 

If you still care for the person & worry about getting in a rut once you get more comfortable, try to still have actual dates. Maybe once or twice a month, set aside a day of something fun & different to do.. go to a zoo, a museum, a play.. you get the idea. It will maintain a bit of the excitement in the relationship.

 

Sausage... haha

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Well, no. That's not it. As I said, the jury's still out on that. That is a possibility though, I guess.

 

I don't know about anyone else, but I've been in a bunch of short-term relationships and they have all started out sparkely, new, and full of mystery, excitement and butterflies (as did this one). I have never gotten to this stage in a relationship before. It's a totally new experience for me. Never having been in this position before, I don't know what to expect. I'm just trying to figure it all out.

 

This is very normal in long term relationships. The spark of the initial attraction will not be constant. How long have you been with this man?

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