monkey123 Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 I used to be an a-hole in the past when i was younger and I had a lot of friends, i had respect and girls liked me. The past few years I have really been so nice to everyone and completely changed and my life has gone to sht. I cant make friends anymore, I cant get girls, I feel like nobody respects me, I DONT RESPECT ME and being nice has done nothing positive for me. Im seriously sick of being nice to people and i feel like im gonna turn back into the old me who was mean to people and im not going to take sht from people who try to disrespect me, even if they r my friends. Link to comment
fireflies Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 Are you sure "being nice" is the problem? Maybe it's your choice in friends? If what these people value is a jerk, than I guess you have to decide if their friendships are worth it. Personally I'd rather just be me. Link to comment
Divine_Malice Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 That has nothing to do with being nice, no one is going to respect some one who doesn't respect themselves. Being a a**whole is going to make people respect you, you probably just like yourself and had more self confidence when you were mean. Being nice isn't letting people walk all over you either. I really think you have a misconception on this being nice. Yes there are girls out there who like guys who are a**wholes but do you really want those girls? Link to comment
nutbrownhare Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 Trying too hard to be nice is self-destructive and it doesn't work, as you realise. But there are other alternatives, apart from being an ***hole. As fireflies says, just be yourself - without worrying too much about what other people think of you. People who are trying too hard to be nice come over as manipulative, or 'too good to be true', and people don't trust them. But you don't have to be a s**t either! Link to comment
crosstownTraffic Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 I find that too.. the nicer I am, the more people walk all over me! I hate to be a wi!@h either.. not my real personna... so how do you get ppl to treat you with respect then?? Link to comment
PixelPusher Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 I think there is a huge misconception that being nice = a pushover. Sounds to me like maybe you're being pushed around rather than just being nice. A nice guy can still be nice but stand up for himself and NOT be a doormat. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 I used to be an a-hole in the past when i was younger and I had a lot of friends, i had respect and girls liked me. The past few years I have really been so nice to everyone and completely changed and my life has gone to sht. I cant make friends anymore, I cant get girls, I feel like nobody respects me, I DONT RESPECT ME and being nice has done nothing positive for me. Im seriously sick of being nice to people and i feel like im gonna turn back into the old me who was mean to people and im not going to take sht from people who try to disrespect me, even if they r my friends. You know, there is a HUGE difference between being nice and being a doormat. There have been a lot of discussions here on that very topic. I am nice to people I meet and people i know, but i don't take bull sh*t. If someone tries to use me they get called on it and they are removed frmo my friend list. I have never had a bitter thought thinking "why do i do nice tihngs for people they all screw me" because people know what they can and cannot get away with. You are allowing people to do you wrong. Instead of saying you are not going to be nice anymore just ammend that to say once someone shows they are not appreciative of it just pull back. No sense making everyone pay for the actions of a few. Link to comment
ColorBlue Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 Jaded's got it down. You can be nice, yet strong. In fact, you MUST be strong if you want to be the nice guy. People tend to think nice guys are easier to push around, but once you show them you have your boundaries (which you must KEEP) and limits, people tend to stay away from pushing you there. Link to comment
monkey123 Posted October 10, 2008 Author Share Posted October 10, 2008 The thing is i have been myself the past few years. I am nice to people that other people r not nice to because i feel bad for them. I always try to help out my friends whenver they need something and my friends say that im the most reliable friend they know. But nobody returns the favor, right now i feel like i only have 4 real friends, 1 lives 1000 miles away from me, 2 r in the military so i never see them and 1 lives near me but hes really not even that great of a friend. Whenever i try to talk about my problems he just kind of ignores me or just doesnt listen because he really doesnt care. I actually think i would bump him off the real friends list now that i think about it. I have many other friends that i like but not real friends i can talk to anymore. I have friends that used to treat me with respect but it doesnt seem like they do anymore. The thing is when somebody shows me disrespect, i dont get offended like most people i just think to myself... why would he/she do that for no reason? I might say something like... now why would u do that. I dont get offended on the spot. I think about it later... and then it pisses me off. Its like they plant a little seed in me when they do something like that, and it grows over time when i think about it. The thing is i really dont get mad at first but then i realize because i dont get mad it makes me a weaker person in everyone else's eyes. People r like wolves these days, they see a weakness and they attack it. Often times in packs. I dont know... i dont even respect myself, i dont get y any else would. Infact i hate myself and i feel like my life is deteriorating day by day. Link to comment
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